Terminated by Roger Smith - Short - The Terminator's back.  In the hood. And this time, he's a newer model. Stronger, faster, and much more....hip. 8 pages - doc, format

[Post deleted cuz the author is too lazy to read anybody else's story]

F**K YEAH! Now this is what i want to read. CONGRATS to whoever did this. The best so far. Everything fit in perfect and it was funny reading it all.

5/5

"If this fried chicken is good...I'll be back."

Haha.  This was a quick little read.  I've never been into the race humor(unless it's racist, sue me I'm bad), but some of the other elements of this story were excellent.

The rat leg, Terminator's one liners, and the Dick Cheney finale.  Got some big laughs out of me!

nicely done

This one didn’t do too much for me. It had it’s moments. I got a few laughs from it.

Good premise for a comedy and some good laughs in here. The exchange with the prostitute was one ot the best parts. Good job.

Same what the pervious posters said..

Some funny one liners and nicely written in-jokes, sure had me laughing on more than one occasion..

Couldn't see the line "Why are the always shooting at me? though? Where's that?

Apart from that, this was spot on, right on the money..

Well done whoever wrote it, short, snappy, to the point and funny..

I laughed a few times at this, but saw a HUGE missed opportunity.

When Terminator tells Foxy Chick to get down.....why oh why did she NOT start dancing?  I was just waiting for it!

But the I'll be back line was funny.  Nice job.

Terminator... in the hood! How could I not read this? Anyway, this is one funny script. The opening scene was my favorite and I dug the Dick Cheney bit at the end. I also loved how self aware it was. Normally, I'd discourage using lines like "you know the drill" and "he's the bad Terminator" but I think here, they enhanced the read. No real problems except it's "Holmes", not "Homes" and I kind of agree with Mike about the "get down" bit.

This one was hilarious and I know who wrote it too!!

I be black  

I'm still laughing  

"Now your Converse All-Stars with the pump air soles."

Just picture it being said by Ahnuld... hilarious.
Didn't like the rest of it though, it's good don't get me wrong, it just ain't my taste.

This was heaven in a screen play.  Excellentay.  Although the basis of the exercise was not really used to well, I can overlook it for the awesomeness that is this script.

"Come with me if you want to live . . . and party."

Hey stereotypes can be funny. Heck I find them hilarious. But it felt like that's the only thing your script was made of.

That doesn't mean I didnt laugh. I laughed a lot reading this. The fried chicken stereotype will never lose it's touch.

A Terminator spoof! My God, I was in tears. I confess to having watched the first two too many times. This one was very well-spoofed. The down side is that it didn't tie in well to the theme because no one was always being shot at. It would have helped if after the soul brother was revealed he spouted out, "Girl, I don't know why ever-body gotta be shootin' at me!" That would have been hilarious.

You captured the essence in my opinion and wrote something quite funny to me...but I'm also a sucker for spoofs.

I really liked this one. Terminator with a hooker. That's funny. I liked the one liners, and could actually hear Arnold saying these things when I read it. I agree with the others about her starting to dance. She said she'd be Sarah Connor if the price was right.  

Wow, that my friend, was a very slick piece of writing. It was great how you managed to fit all those Terminator references into just 8 pages and still keep the story rolling along at a nice pace. My favorite was the "just what you see on the menu," line, but there were a few more I dug as well. A John Connor reference was about the only thing missing from this and I'm not sure how I felt about the Dick Cheeney thing, but they're only minor concerns. Very impressive. 8/10

I loved this one, probably the funniest I've read out of these so far, I loved the "i be black" line, plus the hooker was funny as well.  Good job.  

The thing that pissed me off is that I might be afriad now to order fried chickin cause I'll be thinking of rat from now on, thanks a lot >

Hahaha. I like it a lot. A great little spoof. I didn't want it to end. The writing is slick and to the point. A few too many CAPS and camera directions, but it wasn't too distracting.

It'll be interesting to see who wrote this.

Good work.

I found this amusing at times and could see it turning into something really good with some revisions.  You should be careful about crossing the line between pardody and racism.

And get rid of the directions like, 'you know the drill' and 'yep. he's the bad terminator.'  They were a little distracting.


Phil

Stephen

Great parody, had me laughing out loud, this one!

Well done, great little script..


Kevan

Stephen R. Francis, I don't recognize your name, but you should come around here more often.

I guess Breanne wasn't that crazy about your story, but the fact that I thought she wrote it is the biggest compliment that I can give you.

She's in a league of her own.

Quoted from tomson I guess Breanne wasn't that crazy about your story,...

Yeah, I wasn’t too big on this one. It looks like I’m the only one though. Dogglebe hit on my biggest problem. I felt kind of like the racial stereotype humor came off as a little borderline racism. I don’t believe that was the author’s intent. I think if it had maybe a clever social subtext or something, it could have had a different feel. As it is, I felt its humor was a little cheap. The author has little to worry about, though. One lukewarm review out of so many hot ones is pretty darn good. And I could always be wrong.

With so many rave reviews, this author definitely accomplished what he set out to do so in that respect, it’s a hit and a job well done.

I'm with Breanne when I say this was alright.  Didn't really tie in with the theme, but it looks like it was well-received.  Racism really doesn't bother me, and actually some of those sterotypes were kind of funny.  But some of these reviews are kind of sheisty.  Heaven on paper?  I could have swore someone put that down.      

The only question I have is, what pimp wears Converses?