Hey Michel.

Alright, I admit it. I've been persuaded that your second ending is the superior ending. I know when you were writing this, I advised you to go with the gun as the darker ending. Nice to see it both ways.

BTW, you sure have been busy lately. You're a screen wriitng machine but I never tire of your ideas.

Gary

Quoted from grademan BTW, you sure have been busy lately. You're a screen wriitng machine but I never tire of your ideas.

Thank you for the reading and the compliment. Unfortunately, I have too much spared time to write.

Michel

didnt read all the other comments so i dont know if i'm repeating.  ulysses guess his mother has been crying?  how do you show that?
the second ending definately has more punch, just cuz we know ulysses feels protective of his mother and you can imagine the years he'll be messed up by guilt.
Also just personal taste, but why not get rid of all the VO once he turns the music on?  Like have the stepdad yelling and swearing, then thats replaced by the Heavy Metal, then just heavy metal over the scenes of mom being murdered.  It's all so visual that actually hearing her yell for help is kind of redundant, and it keeps us more with ulysses point of view, even if the audience gets to see whats outside.  specially with the title.  
regardless, nice little piece.

Thanks for the read Jackx.

Quoted from jackx the second ending definately has more punch, just cuz we know ulysses feels protective of his mother and you can imagine the years he'll be messed up by guilt.

I agree with you. Ulysses' protection for his mother is the main subject.

Quoted from jackx Also just personal taste, but why not get rid of all the VO once he turns the music on?  Like have the stepdad yelling and swearing, then thats replaced by the Heavy Metal, then just heavy metal over the scenes of mom being murdered.  It's all so visual that actually hearing her yell for help is kind of redundant, and it keeps us more with ulysses point of view, even if the audience gets to see whats outside.  specially with the title.

I thought of it too. But I guess it would be the director's choice. On the paper, I kept the dialogs to help the reader to follow the events more clearly.

Thanks again.

Michel

Hey! I enjoyed this quite a bit, nice read. Bit obvious in where it was going, but fine for a short.  I can't seem to find any happy stories involving children here, I wonder what that means?  Did all screenwriters have horrible childhood?
Anyways good stuff, I'll try to find some of your others.