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Subject A (currently 2116 views)
stebrown
Posted: May 16th, 2011, 8:34am
Been Around
Location Newcastle, England
Posts 881
Posts Per Day 0.15
Hey Ste,
Oh, I got it, but it did lead to a question.
Why the heck didn't the poor schmucks that came after him get sprayed too.
E.D.
Good question...
It would kill the living as it stops the skin from 'breathing'. Hence Subject A can have it done because he's already dead.
Reply: 15 - 17
Forgive
Posted: May 19th, 2011, 6:43pm
Old Timer
Let The Sky Fall
Location Various, exotic.
Posts 1373
Posts Per Day 0.27
Thought that this was ok, but not much more. Can't really be done in five pages - it was more like a script for a trailer - good - but it deserves a lot more to it that was available - it is also too much like a reworking of Terminator - give this fifty pages and flesh out some characters, and there's a good script here, but nothing that hasn't been done before.
Reply: 16 - 17
tonybe78
Posted: May 28th, 2011, 2:54pm
New
I enjoyed this script. My only critique would be the story of an artificial soldier seeking vengeance has been done to death in this particular genre. I do commend you for packing so much into 5 pages, It may have made the exposition a little daunting but at least it's never boring.
Hemingway had a poster on the wall above his work desk that said, "The first draft of anything is shit.". I also have that poster.
Reply: 17 - 17
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