Hi Jordan,

I didn't think this was bad at all and put a good couple of smiles on my face when I was reading it. That's always a good thing. I take it iowa isn't the place to live then?

And good descriptions early on. Always a winner.



Kip.

Thanks for the read Kip.

The Iowa line was a reference to the movie, Field of Dreams.

I'm glad you liked the descriptions.  I try to be a vivid as possible without writing a novel.

I'm still trying to repay my reading debts and I found this one in your sig.

I thought it was pretty funny. I have no idea what issues with the writing some people have. Either this one is a later draft or I'm just blind to that stuff.

Story wise I thought it was cute, but I would've like some kind of twist or something more ironic happen to Humpen himself. Other than that, pretty good job!