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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  No Cure For Regret Moderators: bert
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  Author    No Cure For Regret  (currently 5617 views)
Posted: July 21st, 2014, 7:48pm Report to Moderator

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It's a good script. You need to go back and fix some typos. Also, you may want to change using some caps in dialog. You don't need to cap them. If they are important use italics instead. Some says underlining is fine. It really depends on how anal the person or company are about that stuff. You also don't need to use Cont'd either. It looks more clean. Overall, I think you have something good here.  
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Posted: July 21st, 2014, 8:10pm Report to Moderator

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Whoa. Didn't expect that. Nice job. A little hard to read at spots but I guess that's what your going for. Definitely felt for Erica. Paul not so much. But it worked.

Agree some of the dialogue could use a pass. But overall really nice writing. It was unexpected, different. Atypical. I can appreciate that.
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Posted: July 23rd, 2014, 7:32am Report to Moderator

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Hi Robert,

Good read.  I like the use of V.O.  I like that the script is pretty dark, but I think the baby should be healthy at the end so there's more hope.  

It didn't work for me that he didn't notice she had been raped until the next morning; maybe that scene when he discovers should be when he walks in the night before, instead of him being in la la land lol.  

I'm not sure everything he says or does has to be God-related.  I understand that's the whole point with him, but it'd be clear even if it wasn't constant.

BEANS and ice cream??  lol

TO THE EDGE WITH MR. PEMBRY (Short - 8 pages)
HYPNOTIZING TO GET AHEAD  (Thriller - 109 pages)
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