I read this a couple of days ago, wanted to see if you were around and actively commenting -
But since Yuvraj was kind enough to give you feedback, I thought I'd echo his sentiments. This is well-written, and the characters are vivid. They each have a distinct voice, which is tough to do in general, never mind in a short film where you try to convey a beginning, middle and end in compressed form.
My favorite part of this is when Renada goes on the interview at the law office and when she's asked why she wants the job, she makes it about herself and says "simple - it's my dream", and then the next shot is her in a paper hat working a fast food counter. Very Amy Heckerling / FAST TIMES in a modern setting. I liked it.
You're a good writer, and you'll get more reads if you jump in and become an active member of the site.
Oh and if this is how it is raising teenagers, I'm glad I never had kids -
Good luck with this -