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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  The Real Deals
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Don
Posted: June 19th, 2020, 7:43pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Real Deals by Ismahaan - Short, Drama, Comedy - {no logline} 23 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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AlsoBen
Posted: June 19th, 2020, 8:48pm Report to Moderator
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Is this a short or a pilot? Your opening line says it's a pilot Ismahaan.

You need a logline even if just so people who might want to give feedback know what theyre getting into.

At a glance your formatting a little wrong, check out your writing software and make sure it's doing things right.

Let me know you're on the boards and I'll happily give it a full read.


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BarryJohn
Posted: June 20th, 2020, 2:24am Report to Moderator
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Who am I? A man with a hundred stories..

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I agree.. No logline tells me you not interested. Why then should a reader be?
You wrote 23 pagers.. at least write a one sentence logline.  


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories... you want to read one?
Analyst, mentor, competition reader/judge, film critic, magazine article/blogger.  
https://simpsonliteraryagency.com/script-analyst
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