Save the Tanuguins by A Member - Short, Horror - The earth becomes in danger when aliens try to steal a precious liquid! 8 pages     A October '06 One Week Challenge entry - pdf, format

This one was really funny.

Damn Pia you sure had a potty mout hin this on   you curse more than me

I'm guessing the other title for this could have been simply milk.

This wasn't horror, but it was a darn funny read.

Tanuguins....I get it now.  War & Peace in Sanskrit.  Ha! Very funny, indeed.

You know, I don't care what some people say -- I am going to go on record as saying I just don't get tired of these.

Not much horror (like I can gripe about that!) and not much milk -- but certainly a fun read.

A f**king stunt woman -- don't you just know she loved that!

Hey.

Not horror but still hilarious, and it involved milk more than some of the others on here...

I think my favorite was when Pia asks the guy in the hood about the rain and his response was "it got a little out of control".  Good stuff right there.

-Tyler

Reading this was like observing some odd, abstract piece of artwork that you're not quite sure what to make of.  It could be genius.  Then again...

My impression is that this was done tongue-in-cheek as some sort of inside joke.  I didn't quite get it but it was amusing in a quirky sort of way.  Mind you, if my name were Pia I'm sure I'd think it was absolutely brilliant.

This was kinda all over the place and made we wonder if there was a point to even making such a script, but some bits made me laugh.

It was alright at parts, and not very good in others. Nothing really special about iy though. It is like a giant inside joke, and not extraordinarily clever. Could have been better, and it's not a horror, and just seemed like you pieced a bunch of random things together. I also didn't feel your description  too much. Seems like you're just "milking" the familiarity of the simplyscripters with this.

Haha it's another SimplyScript script, except with less people. But wow, my eyes got wide when the homeless man came in. Pia was hilarious with her cursing, but things started getting trippy towards the end. So many things were happening--The tanugiuns, the milk, the man in the raincoat...It was weird, but funny. It wasn't horror, but you did include milk, so thumbs up.

Sean

Now I wonder who could have written this.

This was pretty out there, man.  Kind of a sci-fi-campy-50's-horror thing you have going here.  Plan 10 From Outer Space.

Nice inserting of the few SS references.  Big on the goofiness.  Overall a nice read.

Haven't a clue what it's about, really. But I loved the irreverent tone!

Seth

Quoted from bert You know, I don't care what some people say -- I am going to go on record as saying I just don't get tired of these.

I - and I apologize - do.  I won't be reading this.

Sorry. I didn't see where this fit the theme of the exercise at all.

I honestly had no idea what was going on for this, but found it quite humorous.  It was a nice quick read, but I definately don't see it as a horror.  I did love the ridiculous amount of cursing and the homeless man/snake joke was amazing in my opinion.  I'm sure I missed a lot of the inside jokes, but it was still funny even though it didn't fit the theme.

Okay, if this wasn't written by Helio... I'll shit in the middle of my street and start flicking it at people passing by with a hockey stick.

It was funny, very funny. Pia and her cursing, HA! Obviously it was Sci-Fi not horror and the milk thing at the end was pretty trippy and freaky but, what the hell, it was hilarious.

Oh, and I guess I can get past the Taratino instead of Tarantino mistakes.

Jamie

Ah jeez... First, Helio, I get the message. Finish the Wakizashi thing. I've got it on my computer, I swear. Just gotta put it all together.

As for the script... Well, it wasn't really a horror. I laughed a couple of times at the absurdity, but it definitely wasn't one of your better ones. It felt like a bunch of random stuff thrown together with a very rough tie-in with the TaraNtino gag. It also felt like you wrote this in a big hurry. You need to take time to get that English working, and proofread. Your final scene was supposed to be freaky, and while I will grant that it was a bit, not in the right way.

So, you've got the comedic absurdity down, but horror this is not. Perhaps you should consider working for David Zucker...

What the HELio...

Quirky and written for insiders.
Makes me long for Ed Wood... or not long for him.

The story didn't quite do it for me, but I think the main lady, Pia, is the best thing going.
Now I've got a better picture of the lady.

Thanks for the fantasies.

****SPOILERS****

Okay, it’s always fun to see a script featuring scripters but I’m afraid this one just really didn’t do much for me. It’s very stream-of-consciousness as though the author had a dream about Pia or something. The way I see it, there are two main problems:

1) It doesn’t stream very smoothly. It’s very choppy. For example; it’s mentioned that Pia is a stunt woman for what reason? This skill is never used. That’s just one example of information given for no apparent reason.

Even that would be forgivable were it not for,

2) It’s not very funny. I’m sure it’s supposed to be. The one shining moment was George’s line about writing “War and Peace” in Sanskrit. Pia’s profanity was actually pretty good except that, with no apparent direction to the story, it seemed wasted.

In the end, it really only had the inherent cuteness of being another SS script and a couple of strong points that were let down by the story. Its strengths just weren’t enough to carry it with such a choppy and directionless story.

Brea

Okay, dudes, thanks a lot for taken your precious time readiding my insanities. I'll send the bill!

Just one question Helio: Is the Brazilian grass stronger than Colombian? Do you have your own export dealer?

It was just fun. Never if it doesn't apply to the genre or subject.

Long live the Tanuguins !!

Michel

Take care, mon ami when you readding my pearls, otherwise you get sick of you mind, you know.

About Brazilian grasses, yeah it is better than the Colombian, and when we cut them and burned them, the wind blows the smoke through up the Andes and crosses all the Pacific arriving in North Corea!

Hey Helio

This script is crazy man! Your off your head!

I thought the description of me on the tombstone was hilarious as you got the date of birth wrong, it should read 1959 and not 1954 - you silly sausage!!!

I don't know how Pia reacted to your description of her stripping but at least you left her knickers on - ouch! You said it not me!

And for those still not familiar with Helio's genius I'll attempt to break down his masterpiece here.

Pia is a longtime admirer of George as a scriptwriter as portrayed by the reference to his character writing War and Peace and in another language at that.  Something which is obviously very impressive. Although Pia writes scripts herself what she really wants to do is make films herself and she will do it too.

Kevan is an ex-friend of Pia referenced by being dead, in her eyes anyways and this is shown as a metaphor with the tombstone. Hey, I'm dead from the neck down, what can I say?

Pia stumbles onto a filmset, the making of a horror film, the director is Quentin Tarantino no less. Horror films are Pia's favorite genre. Quentin Tarantino used to work in a video store selling crappy horror flicks before he became a big shot in Hollywood land.

Unbeknown to Pia she actually gets to make a movie, she is eventually in her own horror movie without realizing this. At the end of the movie Pia prepares to take a bath, the milk pouring out the forcet is the precursor of her demise the conclusions of this is left to our own imagination, no doubt the aliens get her!

If you don't consider this a horror then Helio has written a series of motifs within his screenplay to illustrate this and here they are:-

#1 The Sky Become Darker

#2 Thunders rumble loudly far away.

#3 A forbearer of what's to come, the man with the snake.

#4 The humming sound.

#5 Cemetery.

#6 Intense light behind the trees.

#7 The frightening words of MILKEE, MILKEE, MILKEE...

#8 Skeleton hand which Pia treads on crushing the bones. (ouch it's mine!)

#9 Head stone (Mine - shit! - This must be an in-joke!)

#10 Homage to Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff mentioned. (reference to Silent Horror films)

##11 Pia tries to get near the light (reference to Poltergeist)

#12 Amusing image of Cows being led into Spaceship with a picture of Jane Mansfield on the walls of the spaceship - note: Jane Mansfield had big tits!

#13 Pia attempting to switch the bedroom light on but it doesn't come on.

#14 The milk coming from the bath forcets or taps.

If you didn't get all this from Helio's script then shame on you.

Great script Helio. The best one in this Milk Competition yet!

A masterpiece..

Kevan Craft 1959 - 2006

Holy freakin' cow! Someone decoded Helio!

Kevan, I have to express how thoroughly impressed I am at what you pulled from this script. You turned Helio from the nut he really is into an underrrated genius. Reading this I completely understand the imagery which feels so random unless you "get" it. Impressive.

Quoted from Kevan I don't know how Pia reacted to your description of her stripping but at least you left her knickers on - ouch! You said it not me!

I didn't even notice that part so I guess it must have seemed normal to me.

Quoted from Kevan For those still not familiar with Helio's genius I'll attempt to break down his masterpiece here.

Helio is indeed a bit of a genius in his writing. He's scripts should never be just scanned over. One has to take the time and think, try to look for the meaning of each little thing. It's a shame he's not more fluent in English. Luckily there are some people that will give him a hand with this sometimes.

Quoted from Kevan Pia is a longtime admirer of George as a scriptwriter.

True that!

Quoted from Kevan Pia writes scripts herself, what she really wants to do is make films herself.

True again!

Quoted from Kevan Kevan is an ex-friend of Pia referenced by being dead, in her eyes anyways

Nah.....I'm a lover not a hater.....you know this!

Quoted from Kevan Horror films are Pia's favorite genre. Quentin Tarantino used to work in a video store selling crappy horror flicks before he became a big shot in Hollywood land.

True again! Amazing how you seem to know all this. Did you also know that QT is my favorite director/writer?

Quoted from Kevan Unbeknown to Pia she actually gets to make a movie, she is eventually in her own horror movie without realizing this.

I hope this isn't you or Helio reading into my future as a producer!

Quoted from Kevan At the end of the movie Pia prepares to take a bath, the milk pouring out the forcet is the precursor of her demise the conclusions of this is left to our own imagination, no doubt the aliens get her!

I will avoid milk and aliens!

Quoted from Kevan Great script Helio. The best one in this Milk Competition yet! A masterpiece.. Kevan Craft 1959 - 2006

Resurrected: November 2006-

Oh God, how I do love to read all of this above, from the balcony!