Bliss by Jesson Kinder - Short, Horror - A family struggles to survive a fast-spreading virus that transforms those infected into smiling, murderous maniacs. 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This was really good.

There were a few typos and I'm not really a fan of the italics, but other than that, I had no complaints.

Smile by Nat King Cole would be a good song to end with also.

This was a great read. Thanks.

-Jordan

Jesson, I read it too and the big problem you might have is its similarity to this new release movie: Smile

https://youtu.be/tQ9ZopJwlxw

Give's me purge vibes. You did a good job with coming up with a virus while also giving the character a chance to mask the fact that she isn't infected yet. I like the setup of this into a feature length. Great idea!

I generally don't like to comment on the writing as I prefer to see the story. That said.

Dead silence emanates from the city that never sleeps. No
stray cats or fat rats in sight.

Dead silence can be shown at a director's discretion. However, I'm not a fan of a screenwriter telling us what we don't see. The first sentence is a powerful one and can stand alone.

Oh. Well, I'm not really a fan of this style at all. I'm barely through the first page and I'm struggling to read it. There are commas where there should be ands. Run-on sentences are split into two lines. Are the NUNS the PURSUERS? They're introduced as two separate groups.

I struggled to follow the story and used clues from other posters to gather what I'd just read. I suppose, you can't please everyone. I tend to avoid the zombie/infected genre and the resulting tropes. You clearly have your fans though so whaddaIknow?

Quoted from LC ...the big problem you might have is its similarity to this new release movie: Smile

That looks really creepy with a The Ring feel to it.
Unfortunately I find it difficult to watch films with such flat lighting and color grading. But maybe that's done intentionally.

Jesson's script, while similar, is more of a virus that affects people and seems like a play on society right now. As long as you're one of the ones smiling, everything is going to be fine... I swear.

Why aren't you smiling?

-Jordan

Thanks so much for all of your reviews, everyone!

I get the similarities to Smile, but I think it's more about an It Follows type curse??? (Can't wait either way.)

Thanks again!

Cheers!