Till Death Due Us Part by Robbie Young - Short, Rom Com - A love story between a teenage loser and a teenage serial killer. 2 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Really posted in the wrong area - should be Work in Progress.

I like the premise if that is what you are working for. A 16 year old female serial killer is a solid start for something different.

Um. Cool.

I'm gonna be honest, I thought it was funny for what it was. And I won't lie to you, Robbie, that serial Killer line from the Narrotator made me laugh, but I really think you should have at least finished a few more pages if you wanted an in-depth review of your script. But keep it up, man.

Nice one. The writing was good. I felt as if the narrator had a special touch here.

I Would like to read it once it's finished.  

Good luck.
  

Well written visually. Telling the story from a narrative point of view was well executed - no character dialog, nice.  As it is, it's a good short. Well done

I was looking for how the 'due' part played into the script, but it doesn't. This leads me to think that you don't realise the phrase is 'Till death do us part.'

It's a decent opening. What are you looking for in regard to advice/information? If you just want confirmation that you can write, I heard your voice. You have one. It's a good start.