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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Perchance to Dream
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Don
Posted: April 26th, 2020, 11:52am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Perchance to Dream by James Austin McCormick - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - A dead soldier follows the light at the end of the tunnel, but discovers his own personal afterlife is nothing he could have imagined. 10 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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ajr
Posted: April 26th, 2020, 6:37pm Report to Moderator
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I liked this...

It's a bit talky instead of showy, but I think that might be a good thing in the current environment. I think this can be shot creatively with equal parts dialogue and set direction, so that the illusion of action is created.

I was a bit confused by the beginning. INT. HALLWAY - DARKNESS and then pitch blackness - we can't know where we are if we are in pitch blackness. I think it can be re-worded to create a better opening image, but no biggie. Also, Captain ELI Jackson was changed to captain BRADLEY Jackson in the last scene - was that on purpose and if so did I miss something? Is he a different living entity now?

Liked the subtext on AI, and corporations owning memories.

Good work!

AJR


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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JamesMcCormick
Posted: April 28th, 2020, 8:15am Report to Moderator
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Thanks so much for the feedback. I know, it is a little talky - I tried to make this as low budget as possible- I had lots of cool ideas for explosions, fights etc... but they would be too expensive/ difficult to stage on a microbudget (at least that's what my thinking was)

Thanks for pointing out the typo- much appreciated AJR
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JamesMcCormick
Posted: December 29th, 2020, 6:49pm Report to Moderator
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Update. This script has now been optioned (100 dollars) and is in pre-production.
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Max Ruddock
Posted: December 30th, 2020, 4:56am Report to Moderator
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Damn, two successes in a row! Result. Congrats James!

And making some wonga off it too, that's double-plus-good!!!


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JamesMcCormick
Posted: December 30th, 2020, 5:25am Report to Moderator
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Thanks for your comments Max- I've actually got one more, apart from From Beyond (a horror) that's been filmed- the Picture of Jonathon Laslow, so 3 in all.

So in one respect at least, 2020 has been a good year for me.

Do you think it is acceptable for me to put From Beyond up on IMDB or do I need the film makers to do this? I actually asked them to do this about a month ago (a couple of times actually) but have not heard back. I'm not sure what to do, to be honest.

All the best and thanks again for your supportive comments

James
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Max Ruddock
Posted: December 30th, 2020, 5:52am Report to Moderator
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Oh awesome, that's a hat trick!

When it comes to imdb credits as frustrating as it is, I'd leave it to them if I was you.


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LC
Posted: December 30th, 2020, 5:55am Report to Moderator
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Or, you could try yourself if they're being slack:

https://help.imdb.com/article/.....db/GNGW7FWJAPKHTVE8#

Maybe try them again first, but credt where credit's due imho.


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Grandma Bear
Posted: December 30th, 2020, 8:08am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from JamesMcCormick

Do you think it is acceptable for me to put From Beyond up on IMDB or do I need the film makers to do this? I actually asked them to do this about a month ago (a couple of times actually) but have not heard back. I'm not sure what to do, to be honest.

First, congratulations on your successes in this sucky year where there wasn't a lot to cheer about!

As far as your imdb question goes, I have added titles myself when filmmakers have not. You can if you are either the writer, director, or producer. The times I have done this has been when the filmmakers don't have an account or don't know how to do it. Usually, they are in other countries.  


.
SS, is still free...
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JamesMcCormick
Posted: December 31st, 2020, 9:32am Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the above advice/ comments.
I've started adding thing myself to my IMDB page. The film makers are going to make up and send me movie style posters to put up. I hate pestering folks but sometimes it's the only way.

thanks again
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