SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is January 24th, 2020, 1:19pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Scripts Studios are posting for 2019 - 2020 award consideration
The January One Week Challenge is on

Scripts due to

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Thriller Scripts  ›  The Vamp
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    The Vamp  (currently 444 views)
Posted: June 7th, 2017, 5:05pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
The Vamp by Ramzan Amjad - Short, Thriller - A cop which is good at his duty become hunt of a vamp which is good at hunting. - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
Posted: June 7th, 2017, 8:01pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients

Southern California
Posts Per Day
Your title page is different then THE VAMP.

I would lose the camera directions.

On page 1 - looks English might not be your first language which makes this a tough read.

Quoted Text

Yes ! Detective Mark is speaking.
No reply.

No reply is formatted as dialogue - should be formatted as action.

Okay - stopping. There are many errors - take a look at some escripts.

Best of luck.

My Scripts can all be seen here:
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
Posted: June 7th, 2017, 9:57pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer

Sydney, Australia
Posts Per Day

Wow, two vampire shorts in a row, they must be coming back.

So I agree with eldave on all his points. I did read it all the way through though.

It's not very long but for what actually happens it a lot of writing.

Formatting errors, grammatical errors and camera directions throughout make this a tough read with no payoff.

Just keep reading scripts and practice.

Good luck

To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website


Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Thriller Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006