The Vamp by Ramzan Amjad - Short, Thriller - A cop which is good at his duty become hunt of a vamp which is good at hunting. - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Your title page is different then THE VAMP.

I would lose the camera directions.

On page 1 - looks English might not be your first language which makes this a tough read.

Quoted Text MARK Yes ! Detective Mark is speaking. No reply.

No reply is formatted as dialogue - should be formatted as action.

Okay - stopping. There are many errors - take a look at some escripts.

Best of luck.

SPOILERS

Wow, two vampire shorts in a row, they must be coming back.

So I agree with eldave on all his points. I did read it all the way through though.

It's not very long but for what actually happens it a lot of writing.

Formatting errors, grammatical errors and camera directions throughout make this a tough read with no payoff.

Just keep reading scripts and practice.

Good luck