SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is August 22nd, 2019, 8:21pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Thriller Scripts  ›  Playing Cars
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Playing Cars  (currently 106 views)
Don
Posted: May 15th, 2019, 3:02pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
13193
Posts Per Day
1.94
Playing Cars by Paul Knauer - Short, Thriller - A dead boy wants to play cars with his mommy. 5 pages - pdf format

production:   1 set (suburban home); low-cost, one-day, 2 cast thriller

Based on the OWC Short Remote Control.

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
PKCardinal
Posted: May 15th, 2019, 3:16pm Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Kansas
Posts
522
Posts Per Day
0.86
Readers: I've changed the logline.

It's now: A young boy wants to play cars with his mommy. The only problem? He's dead.

Obviously changes nothing in the script. I just like it a little better.

Thanks,
Paul


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 3
Arundel
Posted: May 20th, 2019, 3:15am Report to Moderator
New-ish



Location
Las Vegas, Nevada
Posts
72
Posts Per Day
0.56
Good scene work. Felt like it was part of something bigger, though, like there was more to it and this was just a middle section and possibly an ending. Did you write it with that in mind and decide to just "get to the chase" or was this the beginning, middle and end all in one?
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 3
PKCardinal
Posted: May 20th, 2019, 11:23am Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Kansas
Posts
522
Posts Per Day
0.86

Quoted from Arundel
Good scene work. Felt like it was part of something bigger, though, like there was more to it and this was just a middle section and possibly an ending. Did you write it with that in mind and decide to just "get to the chase" or was this the beginning, middle and end all in one?


Thanks for taking a read. Yes, I wanted to tell this very specific part of the story. So, the beginning wasn't part of it. Of course, I wanted to give some indication of the how we got here, but I really didn't care to get into the mud of the other aspects of the story.

And, really, I wanted to leave out the end. So, I think you could argue that this is only the middle. Though, I take us as close to the end as possible without actually including it.



PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 3
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Thriller Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006