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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Thriller Scripts  ›  Quite A Delicate Minute
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Don
Posted: August 9th, 2020, 12:27pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Quite A Delicate Minute by Sami Paju - Short, Thriller - Alex abruptly wakes up in a white room and is given a seemingly impossible task that will determine the fate of himself and his daughter. 4 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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BarryJohn
Posted: August 10th, 2020, 3:29am Report to Moderator
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Who am I? A man with a hundred stories..

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Yeah... I didn't get it?
--Think I'm due for another coffee.


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Yuvraj
Posted: August 10th, 2020, 3:56am Report to Moderator
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I didn't get this.

I mean Alex is arrested, black dude dead and even Joanna is killed. What's the point of this? I don't get it. No real reason as to why Alex's in the room with Mikey. This feels incomplete to me.

Also, no need to introduce Alex as 'the man in white clothes'. Just write his name. He's on-screen.

Honestly, I don't know what to make of this. Maybe someone else might get the story.

Good luck.


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