Before She Died by John Stone - Short, Thriller, Crime - A vicious murder of a night club hostess leads Kiki Carruthers on a goose chase to find her killer. 47 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

This fictional crime drama is loosely based upon a real event that took place in London 1975. The murder of Bunny Girl Eve Stratford was never solved, due to the lack of DNA at that time. Her killer was never brought to justice, however, having researched this case, I have reached my own conclusions and that is what this short drama focuses its efforts upon in now time.

Another nice addition to the Detective Carruthers series. While the eventual killer turned out to be a surprise, it wasn’t a total surprise. He was on my suspect list but pretty far down.

I think I found a couple of issues. At the bottom of page 3, Carruthers says, “You must Daryl.”I think you meant , “You must BE Daryl.”

On the bottom of page 28, I think there may be a missing piece of dialog, perhaps a question from Detective Carruthers. As a result, it seems Carruthers says a couple of lines I think were meant for Ali and at the top of page 29, Carruthers has two dialog entries, back-to-back.

Thanks for your comments Michael. these typos have now been rectified.

I will upload a revised draft under the title Kiki as I now have three episodes that I 'm working on to improve, after a quick visit to the opticians.

Many thanks Don.

This screenplay has been updated.