So I liked this, it's very... raw? I think thatís a good word to describe it.
It's definitely a quick read because it's dialogue heavy. I'm in two minds about the dialogue though. I think itís very authentic, I think the characters have individual voices, and I think you do well to build the relationships through dialogue. The thing that concerns me is that a fair portion of the dialogue is very general, as in, it just normal back and forth that I donít think moves the story forward. But then in saying that this is the first of a series so it potentially has a lot of time to evolve.
With regards to, ďit lacks any real "set pieces" of either comedy or drama.Ē Iím not entirely sure what more you want. There is definitely drama and comedy. Could you expand on this?
Quite a few funny moments with two laugh out loud ones for me below.
How does it look?
Donald looks at the preview on the camera. Silvia's eyes are
barely open, her husband is looking away, and the baby is red
as a tomato and completely unremarkable.
Maybe one more?
I'm not paying two hundred a week
to share with you and a Nazi dog.
I personally donít think itís as strong as People's Parties but it was certainly an enjoyable read. I'd be interested in reading a second episode.
All the best.