Hey all,

This is only the first 30 pgs, but I just finished a draft of this whole script and I'd love some thoughts on the first act before I redraft.

LINK TO SCRIPT

My bad logline: A morose women fresh from prison with a child in foster care, undertakes an experimental sleep study to resolve her disturbing nightmares and help her get her child back. When she falls pregnant to a co-participant in the study who disappears without a trace, she is forced to investigate the study�s origins and the organisation who run it - at great risk to herself, her unborn child, and her already failing relationships with her family.


Any thoughts are welcome, but I especially want to know whether the first 30 gives away the "twist"? You'll see it if you see it. Is it scary enough without getting to the actual dream-testing place yet? Effecitveness in other ways?

Willing to trade a read for another horror - in the mood

Trigger warning for reasons that will obvious

Hey, I've decided to post the whole thing for an exchange, so you read the whole thing now is you want -- it's 99 pages.

LINK TO SCRIPT

Looking for any impressions at all. Doesn't need to be any kind of full review - I'm worried about it's stylistic choices so reader impressions, even without detail, are important.