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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  The Future Wild Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: May 16th, 2006, 4:45pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Future Wild by J. Angel Sierra - Sci Fi - The test animal used in a time travel experiment is accidentally evolved into a strange future species when the procedure goes wrong. The military decides to capitalize on this hiccup by building up a collection of deadly evolved animals for bio-warfare. But when the creatures get loose, it's up to the scientist who created the project, his ex-wife, and her new, big game hunter boyfriend to eradicate the future wild before they can overrun the US and, soon after, the world! 152 pages - pdf, format


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Jaykur22
Posted: May 17th, 2006, 10:44pm Report to Moderator
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Before I check this out I wanna make sure the author is around...?


Mason: "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
Stan Goodspeed: "I'll do my best."
Mason: "You're best. Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f*** the prom queen!"
Stan Goodspeed: "Carla was the prom queen."
Mason: "Really?"
Stan Goodspeed: "Yeah!"
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saurianentertainment
Posted: May 19th, 2006, 3:24am Report to Moderator
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I'm around. Check away.
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tonkatough
Posted: June 6th, 2006, 5:44am Report to Moderator
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Monsters! Lots of monsters This is reason enough to read this script.

This was a fun read with a great twist as to why the project went so wrong.

The idea of having a machine that does rapid evolution to life forms is diffrent.   Having the military actually use monsters as weapons in warfare, such as dump a load of monsters on an enemy is a movie in itself.

I'd say the  152 page count for this script would scare most people  from reading it, but hey relax,  this is one big adventure with multiple storylines. There are a variety monsters to destory.

The only grips I have is the format. Why is everything in uppercase? I thought only sound effects need be in upper case. It makes the script difficult to read and a script should be a fast read. It has taken me a week to read it when it should take only a few hours.  

    


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saurianentertainment
Posted: June 6th, 2006, 11:09pm Report to Moderator
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Thank you very much for reading the script and I appreciate your very kind comments. I'm glad you liked it.

Yes, I admit: I went crazy with the uppercasing. I was truthfully trying to ape M. Night Shyamalan's writing style - he capatilizes every detail he feels should be paid attention to, regardless of how insignificant it may seem - and it just got out of hand. I have amended that in future work I have written.

In terms of other things, what did you think of the characters and the dialogue? Who was your favorite character?
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tonkatough
Posted: June 7th, 2006, 4:03am Report to Moderator
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The characters where good. Sebastian, slightly fun loving, childish behaviour was a nice contrast to Erica's no fuss seriousness.  Didn't really care much for the  game hunter. he was an uneventful character.

But the big stars of your story are the animals.  Night Stalker with his frenzy eating habbit and big bad Birdzilla who dug huge holes into the ground the size of a football field. These creatures where fun to visualize while reading the script and if this script was made into a movie it would be heaps cool cgi candy for the eye.

The hyena men also reminded me of Gnolls from the Dungeons & Dragons game.

The dialouge  I must say was rather weak. I would love to see an actor try to read some of the line of your script. It would be very difficult.

The dialouge was very clumsy and too word perfect. I suggest you look at other scripts on this website for ideas on how to write dialouge in a natrual way.

I recommend checking  out Better Days over in the series section. That is one writer who does superb dialouge.  


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