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I agree with Dogleebe precisely. Cute, but it needs to go somewhere. A story usually involves some movement from point A to point B... resolution of some question, issue or condition. I give you credit for good format and execution. Keep on writing. (BTW, there are no penguins in the Arctic).
Hi Alex. Yeah, I have to admit i was puzzled after reading this. I mean, i could grasp what the overall feel was, but it came out a bit off cue. There was a touch of Monty Python in there, perhaps their lifeboat cannibalism sketch? There were funny moments and it has potential but a good re-write is needed. Agrree with Rich - the formatting is good just needs to re-thought a bit. cheers mate and i hope you're over Friday night! Man, I could'nt believe we would win that easy. I was seriously worried about this game. We are in white hot form...
Cheers for the reads, Yeah i had no particular narrative direction in mind when i was writing this, it was just sposed to be a funny skit. I pretty much made it up as I went a long. I wouldn't mind rewriting it and giving it a little structure.
Good to see you back on SS again Alex. Long time since I've exchanged scripts with you.
A little bit of nonsense is good for the soul and by cripes this was absurdity times ten.
I disagree with above comment that this was pointless. I thought it had a great build up of Billy and wally trying to decide on what to do with Luey when he return to cave. Nice build up to a punch line excpet there was no punch line and nothing happened which makes your story anti-climatic and bit of a fizzer.
I did like how Luey criticise idea of penguin trap which set the plot in motion and then near the end it is the same penguin trap that saves everyones life and gets Luey back to the cave. good stuff