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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  The Status of Things Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Status of Things  (currently 4642 views)
Don
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 6:17pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Status of Things by James Williams (jwent668 - Short, Comedy - A third date goes bad. 5 pages - pdf, format


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-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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khamanna
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 6:34pm Report to Moderator
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I liked the facebook part at the beginning very much. --very funny and makes sense actually (makes me want to look up  statuses)

But then he became suddenly way too angry only because she called someone "skank". Then he became upset over a check and told her that right in her face - seems strange that she was with him through two dates and he was quiet all the time about paying. That might be just me though.

but loved the first part and the end too.
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jwent6688
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 6:54pm Report to Moderator
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Wherever I go, there Jwent.

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First, thanks to Don for posting as always.

This was an attempt for me to write something extremely low budget. Always seems like things fall through when someone wants to shoot my script because they're so difficult.

I think, with a couple of strong leads, this would be fairly entertaining. I also needed a  break from my magnum opus.

Khamanna,

Thanks for the feedback. You always read the scripts here. I wanted Jim to get angry, just might have jumped the gun a bit. Glad you liked the beginning and end.

Gonna try to be good boy on boards for a bit. Lost my cool for no reason last time here. Even deleted my account. Thanks to Don for recovering.

Hope you guys at least get a mild chuckle out of this one. Tis based on some real life experience for me.

James


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Dreamscale
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 6:58pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Cleveland Jim, what up, bud?

Sorry, but I can't say I like this.  It's just very dull and juvenile.  BUT...biggest issue is that it's 2 talking heads, talking about boring ass stuff, like Facebook. Blah...

Just doesn't do anything at all for me.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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jwent6688
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 7:04pm Report to Moderator
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Wherever I go, there Jwent.

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Sorry Jeff, May have shot a blank with this one. As I said, was going extremely low budget. Which means two talking heads in an easy location. At least to me.

I'm gonna guess you're not very active on Facebook. Guess that's for us young'ns. Ha!

Thanks for reading. Sorry it didn't work for you...

James


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Dreamscale
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 7:11pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Yeah, what happened to you, James?  Where'd ya go..and why?  Maybe a PM on that.

No, I will not do any Facebook...PERIOD!  Everyone tries to get me on there, but I'm just not going to go that route.  For one thing, I think Facebook is a very, very dangerous thing...as in people from your past popping in and getting your ass in biog trouble.  Or maybe even people you just met last night

Definitely trouble I don't need.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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jwent6688
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 7:19pm Report to Moderator
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Wherever I go, there Jwent.

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Facebook is mentioned in 40 percent of divorce cases nowadays. true statistic. You can flirt with all your ex-gilfriends there. Even married ones.

Being single... I love it. You need to get hip to it.

James


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Dreamscale
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 7:24pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Get hip to being single or Facebook?


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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jwent6688
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 7:33pm Report to Moderator
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Wherever I go, there Jwent.

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Last I heard you had a gal. But, get hip to facebook first. Then when time comes, find yourself another... Although you keep moving. FB mat not help you there much.
All my exes are less then 20 minutes away.

Also, No PM needed. Like everyone to know. Called out jonnyboy for not reviewing my opener on his offer exchange. He did in fact. Never saw it in a PM and attacked him. Felt like a total ass.

Plus, think I've had a big mouth of late. Gonna tone it down. Up to you Jeff, to sort out the arses. Don't have the somach for it anymore.

James


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Ledbetter
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 7:35pm Report to Moderator
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jwent6688

I have a son who is 24 now and married. Your script just described a conversation between him and his wife (before they were married).

I liked it. I am very very new to FB and I do not post any information on that site even remotley personal but it amazes me how the world revolves around my sons generation regarding FB and other sites.

Your writing was clean and sharp.

Jeff said something that was right on when he said " It's just very dull and juvenile"
That is exactly how my son and his wife sounded and it was over the exact thing you wrote.

For accurcy, you were dead on. For people who don't know or who don't like FB, this will be a slow read. For those who do live for it, you just gave a snapshot of what most likley is going on all over the world on a daily basis.

Good job.

Shawn.....><
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jwent6688
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 7:57pm Report to Moderator
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Wherever I go, there Jwent.

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Shawn,

Thanks for reading. Glad you liked it mostly. This was targeted to get young film makers interested.

Gonna catch some shit because a good deal of writers on these boards are out of touch with todays social networking.

I read the first ten of Chernobyl a long time ago. Was engrossed by it. Like so many other things, I never finished.

You're a fine writer and I appreciate your comments.

Your son is 24??? No wonder you don't get Facebook.

James


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Ledbetter
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 8:19pm Report to Moderator
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Anytime,

I think this will get attention from the younger audience. It is spot on.

You have to remember, my generation believes that social networking actually means going out and meeting each other.

I can say, It seems the lost art of inter-personal communication seems to be slowly replaced by the "extended arm self picture" of ones self along with a litney of information about me, me and me.

Whats at risk is, when we lose the compassion for listening to another persons thoughts and dreams in person, we lose site of the human element and become slaves to a grave reality. One of complete self indulgence.

By the way, I was only 10 when my wife and I had twins

As for Chernobyl, it is in a re-write with help from fellow posters here at SS.

Shawn.....><  
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 8:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Ledbetter
Whats at risk is, when we lose the compassion for listening to another persons thoughts and dreams in person, we lose site of the human element and become slaves to a grave reality. One of complete self indulgence.


Sounds seriously like the '80s... And, not to be the cynic here, but I think compassion for other people, for the most part, disappeared a long time ago.

But, it's true. Social networking sites are good to go on from time to time for people but when you live on them, it's really not such a good thing. What are you gonna do, though?


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jwent6688
Posted: August 14th, 2010, 8:43pm Report to Moderator
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Wherever I go, there Jwent.

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Quoted from Ledbetter

Whats at risk is, when we lose the compassion for listening to another persons thoughts and dreams in person, we lose site of the human element and become slaves to a grave reality. One of complete self indulgence.


Not self indulgence. Just solitude. I can prepare some great responses to girls, friends, when writing them. Because they're prepared. But, socially, I am not good on the fly. Which places like this do not help. Gotta get out there. Meet people. Converse. Whether you are looking for a woman or pitching your script. I totally agree.


Quoted from Ledbetter
By the way, I was only 10 when my wife and I had twins


I commend you. Mine didn't even work at that age.


Quoted from Ledbetter
As for Chernobyl, it is in a re-write with help from fellow posters here at SS.


When it's up, I will finish it. PM me if I don't notice it first.

James


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Ledbetter
Posted: August 15th, 2010, 3:58pm Report to Moderator
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Mr. Blonde,
One could make that augement regaring the eighties. The ME generation. But your second line truely hold water. When you live on line, your identity becomes what you want others to percieve you to be. Many people wind up living a lie on line and lose (as Jwent put it) the ability "be good on the fly".

Jwent, I also like your take on Solitude, verses self indulgence. I have a friend who is completly sold out to WOW. I mean he can do 48 hours at a time, sleep and get up to do it again. When I talk to him, he rambles on about his online world as though it were the most important thing going.

When I ask him what he actually has done on this side of reality, he gets bent.

Moderation, I suppose.

Shawn.....><
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