Quoted from Grandma Bear Ryan is an excellent writer....

I never said he wasn't.  

Quoted from Guest I never said he wasn't.

I didn't say you did...

Thanks to everyone who gave Brother Cody a read, but it looks like the nod went to the Procurist.  I'm gonna have to read that one myself to see what the buzz is.  Main issue I noticed in the reviews for my script is their dislike of the main character, which is something I will tinker with.  I wanted to present him as an entitled little a-hole that goes through this transformative process, but I didn't count on him being quite so despised from the get go, lol.  I'll get back to it and change his intro and motivations for wanting to change.  

Read the first 15, Ryan. You have the formula right, with the spoiled and irresponsible rich kid. It's been done successfully many times, and the one that comes to mind first for me is Tommy Boy. In that film, Tommy is equally clueless, but everyone at the company likes him, which probably helps us like and root for him.

There's more of an arc with Cody. Cody has to learn compassion for others, which is a lot tougher. Tommy has to learn to believe in himself. I'm not suggesting that way is better, but it's an option for you.

Yeah, you nailed it, Kev.  Tommy boy was the exact movie I had in mind when writing it.  As you mentioned, one of the differences is, if you watch the first 15 of Tommy Boy, they go out of their way to make him bumbling and loveable(everyone at the factory loves him, etc).  My first version of Cody was just like that, then I realized he was just TOO much like Tommy.  So, I changed the character.  Quite possibly too much.  One thing I've learned from writing this script, first impressions of main characters are incredibly important and very difficult to overcome if they come off wrong.

Time to drag this one back into the lab for a little surgery.

Quoted from Ryan1 Thanks to everyone who gave Brother Cody a read, but it looks like the nod went to the Procurist.  I'm gonna have to read that one myself to see what the buzz is.  Main issue I noticed in the reviews for my script is their dislike of the main character, which is something I will tinker with.  I wanted to present him as an entitled little a-hole that goes through this transformative process, but I didn't count on him being quite so despised from the get go, lol.  I'll get back to it and change his intro and motivations for wanting to change.

I think you should look at the AOW comments again.
You got eleventh hour votes from regulars.

I'm putting some touches on a flawed fallen rich protag comedy myself.
Perhaps we can help each other keep our protags interesting.

Good luck!

Regards,
Brett

As I said on Skype, RL, I loved it. And I liked Cody from the start! The perps who despised him, well, not sure where they are coming from.

Americans and comedy has always been an uneasy mix. The yanks seems to have problems getting a grip on true comedy, whether on TV or films. And then they find shows funny that the rest of the world doesn't! I tried to watch Friends once. I laughed once. And my sense of humour is excellent.

One commenter said he read the first 15 of Brother Cody and didn't find it funny. Well, get a fucking life mate, cos there was some good lines in there! Trust me, if if wasn't funny, ol' Ryan woulda been copping it from me, I'll give you the drum!

Anyway, I read it in one hit. I like it as is. Don't fiddle with it too much.

The script that is....




Ps - you've inspired me to get back to work on my comedy 'Survival Dude'.  Cheers bro

Great news, everybody!

Another script from SS has made it into AF.

http://scriptshadow.net/amateur-offerings-weekend-47/


Everyone should go to kev's thread and read Static Town