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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Cozen by Mica - Short, Thriller - A con man(Lesley Watts) steals a painting from a Russian mafia, for homeland. When the Russian mafia finds him, he forces him to commit treason. 6 pages - pdf, format
First, this one needs some work. The use of 'we see, hear, notice...' is passe. Use simple direct sentences to describe the scene. The reader knows 'we see'.
The opening bit of dialogue 'this is the part I should have died' makes no sense.
Old, It has that abandoned building fill to it' It's not 'fill' but 'feel'.
'quiet' does not equal 'quite'
When characters are introduced, their NAMES are CAPITALIZED.
Then, this one ends with no resolution and no move back to the opening scene.
I suggest you study English and the excellent scripts on this site.
Why did you tell the reader Sam's about to rob the drug dealer? I thought that spoiled the surprise. There are quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes in this, but your script isn't too bad. I don't know much about drug dealing, but isn't 30 dollars too small an amount of money to risk robbing someone for?