SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 25th, 2019, 12:11am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration


The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)


Yes, I am running script reviews, again...

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Black Veil Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Black Veil   (currently 172 views)
Don
Posted: February 11th, 2019, 4:30pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
12815
Posts Per Day
1.93
Black Veil - Pilot by Eve Kazaros - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Steampunk - A young gunslinger driven to avenge her family's slaughter suddenly finds herself caught in the middle of a dangerous plot to reignite Earth's lost technology, and the war that nearly ended the planet. 58 pages - pdf format

Black Veil, Episode 2 - Independence Burning by Eve Kazaros - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Steampunk - Vying for her freedom, Effie makes a deal that puts everyone in jeopardy.  Against her will, Abilene becomes a vital part of Kael's mission. - pdf format

Black Veil, Episode 3 - Mutiny by Eve Kazaros - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Steampunk - The Air Isles and Continental Prides unite in the bounty of Captain Slagg's ship and crew.  Abilene and Effie plot to overthrow the Blood Raven, and save Kael.  Miwa makes a deadly decision that threatens Shine Town's survival. 58 pages - pdf format

Black Veil, Episode 4 - Unity by Eve Kazaros - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Steampunk - Nola struggles with a new position, and the fallout in Shine Town.   Unexpected doubt and betrayal puts the Blood Raven in jeopardy.  Meanwhile, Abilene finds a new ally as enemies close in on their position. 54 pages - pdf format

Black Veil, Episode 5 - Run and Gun by Eve Kazaros - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Steampunk - Nola struggles with a new position, and the fallout in Shine Town.   Unexpected doubt and betrayal puts the Blood Raven in jeopardy.  Meanwhile, Abilene finds a new ally as enemies close in on their position. 54 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  March 7th, 2019, 5:28pm
added new script
Logged
Site Private Message
GregoryM
Posted: February 13th, 2019, 2:19am Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
77
Posts Per Day
0.05
Just randomly clicked the script and was pleasantly surprised. Didnt have time to read the whole thing, but the writer has a distinct voice and a strong grasp of pacing drama scene structure and dialogue. I was impreased and I rarely give a shit about other writer's work. The formatting is a bit old school and could stand to be cleaned up. I also think it might work better as a teaser and 4 act structure rather than 5 since some of the acts felt short but ultimately that doesnt matte. Id encourage the writer to comment or include their email address so ppl like myself can contact her. Id happily do a live read on twitch and point oit how to improve scenes and the formatting and discuss the work in general.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 4
GregoryM
Posted: February 13th, 2019, 2:20am Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
77
Posts Per Day
0.05
Its worth noting theres no point in having a second episode. Itd be more effective for the project to have a bible.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 4
GregoryM
Posted: February 13th, 2019, 2:21am Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
77
Posts Per Day
0.05
Also it's not steampunk it's cyberpunk as outlined in the script. Although in a way it's like steampunk in space, if that makes sense.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 4
EMK
Posted: February 13th, 2019, 1:29pm Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
1
Posts Per Day
0.00
Hi GregoryM, thanks for taking the time to read the script and dropping some feedback for me.
I have an old series bible that I wrote back in 2016.  It needs updating and polishing.  I've been using it to write Epi 2-4.  Currently working on Episode 5.  I figured as long as the characters are talking and the story is writing itself, I may as well put it to paper.  
I had producer Gabriel Horn from New Palace Films ask if he could keep the pilot, "on file".  A few other producers liked it but it just didn't fit what they were looking for.
  
I'm not familiar with Twitch, but if you want to PM I'm open to it, and any other advice.

PS Y'all, one of my major flaws is pitching, loglines, and synopsis writing.  Condensing a story rattles my brain sometimes. I always have too much to say.

Thanks again for your kind words and encouragement.
Eve

Revision History (1 edits)
EMK  -  February 16th, 2019, 8:39am
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 4 - 4
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Series  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006