After I uploaded the PDF to Google Drive, I noticed a couple of scene locations that are still bold and underlined...but that's minor. This is the first 13 pages into the rewrite.

Logline: An aging bounty Hunter and a US Marshal with questionable morals transport a young, notorious criminal across Arizona. When their stagecoach is ambushed, the group to make a stop in the town of Ajo - a place that holds secrets for some and answers for others.

Feedback: this is a rewrite of a full feature and I'd like help with tone and how I kick off the story. Also interested in the western specific dialogue.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/11oFeMbkELviFtI5ru1AVw8kRYCP_NWAX/view?usp=drivesdk

I generally like the loginline, though I didn't get a western feel from it. I assumed on reading it, it was contemporary. You might want to put a word or two in at the start to tell us when we are.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films I generally like the loginline, though I didn't get a western feel from it. I assumed on reading it, it was contemporary. You might want to put a word or two in at the start to tell us when we are.

You didn't get the western feel from the intro or the entire piece? I could see the intro maybe confusing...maybe.

As for the remaining pages, I figured with locations, manner of speaking, horses, the guns, etc, the time frame would have been apparent.

I didn't want to open with a superimposed line stating the location/year.

Just the log line.

I've not looked at the script, yet.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films Just the log line. I've not looked at the script, yet.

Ahh ok that makes sense. Thanks for clarifying...I'll update the logline.