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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Horror  ›  Eyes of the Stone
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  Author    Eyes of the Stone  (currently 164 views)
Don
Posted: January 19th, 2020, 7:08pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Eyes of the Stone by Yuvraj Rajwanshi - Short, Horror - A story when an ordinary man purchases a painting he knows nothing about. 5 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice


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Yuvraj
Posted: January 19th, 2020, 10:30pm Report to Moderator
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This was my very first script so do consider to give it a read. That will be helpful.
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eldave1
Posted: January 21st, 2020, 9:12pm Report to Moderator
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Yuvraj:

You need to learn how to properly format scene headings. Here is a good source:

https://www.keepwriting.com/tsc/formatclear.htm

Lost the watermark on the script pages - it is very distracting.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Yuvraj
Posted: January 22nd, 2020, 12:22pm Report to Moderator
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Thank for that Eldave1.

But as I wrote this was my very first script so it has some naive things in it. I have improved since then. Do read my other script (COOKIES).

Thanks once again.
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JohnMcCarthy
Posted: January 31st, 2020, 6:11pm Report to Moderator
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Yuvraj,

I agree with the comment above that the watermark distracts from story. And, yes, there are some formatting errors, although I'm new at screenwriting myself, so what do I know?

I did find your story to be scary though. The scene in the car, with the painting in the rearview mirror really gave me the creeps. And I mean that as a compliment.
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Yuvraj
Posted: January 31st, 2020, 11:57pm Report to Moderator
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Thank you JohnMcCarthy. I know the watermark is distracting, it was by chance as I was exploring the features.

I would love to read your scripts as well.

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Yuvraj  -  February 1st, 2020, 1:39am
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