Modern Monsters by Luke Susko and Marcus Fike - Series, Sci Fi, Fantasy, Comedy - A gay couple from Pittsburgh are forced to reckon with a family curse while also figuring out how to get four adventurers back to their world, while just trying to survive their own, and the wrath of a homicidal chicken. 39 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice

Interesting story.  I like the activity that took place at Walmart. I had a little bit of an issue with the chicken carrying a knife. I’m picturing a small steak knife. I don’t think a chicken is strong enough to carry a large hunting knife. It would be rather funny if the situation could be pulled off somehow.

I realize that this is a series and that you are trying to fit this into a half-hour show. That said, I think you still need to introduce your characters. You introduced King Highborne a little bit. After that, characters came out of nowhere. I don’t know too much about writing a series but this is Episode 1. You should introduce all new characters in ALL CAPS and give a brief description of their features, age, gender, things like that. After a while I got a hint of their gender with he/she, him/her pronouns in the story. I should know up front.

As for deviations from the standard format, you have a couple of big issues. First, you need a title page. If you look at other scripts on this site, you’ll see what I mean. It should have the information you placed at the top of page one. In addition to that, it should also have copyright and contact information. Take the information off of page one. Page one should start with "FADE IN" and the start of the story.

The other big problem is that you have to separate your action text from your dialog text. For example , you have Poldorf in a dialog title followed by action text and then he speaks. That action text should not be there.
It should read:

Poldorf picks up the tambourine without breaking his stride.

                    POLDORF
     Of course, your Highness, though we are honestly
     surprised you called on us of all people.

This problem is throughout the whole story.

This is what is called a spec script. The purpose is to tell the story to a producer with the hope it gets produced. As such, you don’t need to number your dialog paragraphs. Also, you shouldn’t give any camera direction unless it is absolutely necessary to tell the story. An example would be if somebody were complaining about their boss, a camera could be swung around to show the boss standing behind them as a reveal. Otherwise, those things are meant to be in a shooting script. That is usually created under the director’s direction.

For example:
You pan the camera over to a balcony where four figures enter through the shadows. That’s not a surprise reveal. It’s just four characters making an entrance to the story. Just have the characters make their entrance and let the director decide how he wants to shoot it.

There are other minor issues but I think I covered the main ones. A lot of those minor issues could be handled with more thorough proofreading. You'll find the sentences that don't read clearly because of missing punctuation or missing words.

You did a good job in giving your characters distinguishable personalities. I think Rorgog is my favorite. I also liked the homicidal chicken if you could get it to work.

You used Celtx to write this. That's good that you didn't use a word processor. I think you are off to a good start.
Also, I think this is a nice start for a series.