By me of course.


This was my entry in Zack's first season of Scarefest, which, unfortunately, did not get very happy reviews. But, I thought it was good (in my opinion) and it was my first script that I've written that I was actually able to film (considering that I based the location off of my house).

There has been one change: the beginning. This was filmed over the summer so school wasn't open here. So I had to delete a lot of dialogue (which a lot of people found that it slowed the script down, so lucky y'all!) and move the rest to a neighborhood scene where the two female characters (there used to be three) are walking home from school.

So, here it is, and I hope you enjoy. It took me a day to film it and about a week to edit it. iMove is a bitch when you try and edit a 14 minute film, so, if you want to film a short film as long as mine, I recommend using Final Cut Pro instead.

http://vimeo.com/2273936?pg=transcoded_embed&sec=2273936

Sean


P.S> There's a part in the video where I butchered a line, saying that the last "time" Jenna got was "16 minutes" and it took me 10 minutes to get to the house, I look at my watch to see how much longer we have (which is 6 minutes), when it could be simple math. I think I was supposed to say: "It took me about 10 minutes to get  here, so I guess we’ll wait...six minutes. Let's get inside." I feel stupid now when I watch that part...


[don's edit: read the script here: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1205006732/s-0/

Hey Sean just watched the movie and its pretty good. I never noticed your simple math thing so it can't be that bad or I wasn't paying attention enough lol. One point though, when Jenna first gets a message and looks at her phone, you can't really see the screen. I thought the music was especially good but overall well worth watching.

If you fancy filming either of my scarefest episodes go ahead, I won't even ask for a fee lol. Only joking mate.

That was good Sean! Congratulations.

My only suggestion would be the same as with many screenplays... it needs a little tighter editing. Especially in the beginning.

Other than that, you did a good job!

Good job in making the film. The intro song sounds very halloween-ish. The music choices was good. But like Pia said, a bit more tight editing. Nevertheless, good job.

Hey Sean, really liked that film. Great job with it!

I was really surprised at the quality of the acting and directing. The exterior parts came across a little off though...don't know if that's a lighting issue or what.

Really had a lot of suspence. Well done.

Thanks you guys. Alffy, that was a problem I had from the beginning. When I realized you couldn't see the message through the camera, everyone was getting really hot and getting irritated, so I decided to shoot. Later when editing, I tried lowering the brightness and contrast, but that didn't work, so it's just a technicality that I came across and couldn't fix it. Though, later, Jenna reveals what it said through dialogue. And what are you joking about? Me filming or you not paying me?

Me, that's a problem with mine all the time. I want character development, though I know you need to get through the scene as quickly as possible  (and that's what I told my actors; to get through the scenes as quickly as possible).

Ripley, glad you liked it. I did all the music on the piano keyboard we have and I already had some music in mind even before we started shooting.

Stebrown, thanks! Yeah, Natalie (Jenna) was a lot better than I expected. It was the first time I met her when she came over (she was suggested by Amrit) so I didn't know what to expect. Lighting was difficult during the nighttime shots, so I tried my best. Thanks again.

Sean

Hi Sean,

I think you have a great video there.  I just think the piano parts were a little too loud.  If you can lower the volume on the piano that would be great.

All the best,


Javier

I think this was a nice little loveletter to the movies you've obviously invested a lot of time into watching. It was very gimmicky and basically a nonesensical plot stringing together a bunch of jump scares and horror clichés (Even the Quaratine ending made it in there... ) but I think you did well all things considered.

Editing wise, you probably need to work a bit on getting things flowing better. One thing that I find always works is cutting on movement. You won't notice the cuts the way you do here sometimes. You sometimes remedied this by doing very long takes but that gets boring pretty fast too. Another thing is the sound and the volume levels. Some sounds were very loud and others quite faint, and you'd often have white noise levels that were very jarring in different shots, which would emphasize that you were cutting between one camera setup to another. Thus taking me out of the film and breaking the illusion.

But all these things are things you learn and pickup along the way. Some of the stuff like sound you'll probably need to invest in a boom mic, but editing is just matter of practice.

I did find parts of the film really cool and creepy. The figure in the window, the shadow in the glass, her friend's voice changing into the (killer's?) and the final shot of her being dragged into darkness were all quite effective.

The acting was sometimes pretty good and sometimes felt like line reading. I actually thought you gave the best performance with a very downplayed turn as boyfriend who gets axed offscreen.

So keep at it! Looking forward to your next film.

Hey Sean, I never read the script, but the video was nice.

Little story--basically just a one big suspense scene, but I liked it for what it was. I'm sure it was a good excercise for you.

Keep at it! I sure wish I could get off my lazy ass and make something like this.

--Julio

hey sean, i remember you talking about filming this awhile back, glad you got to do it! turned out really good, the only thing i would change is that again the first shot of the phone I couldn't see what it said! imovie with long movies really isn't fun, i know, haha but one thing you might want to do is when editing noise reduce clips so the sounds consistent, it's something i just discovered so thought i'd pass it along!

Sean, I was laughing at me not asking for money and definately not you directing. I thought you did a great job filming your short.

Congrats Sean! The film turned out great. You have a lot of potential as a director. I don't know why people didn't like the script, I thought it was creepy. Good job on the movie.

~Zack~

Sean,

Great job! This is a nifty little tale of paranoia meets imminent death, and pretty creepy, too. I'll admit I jumped when that fish started singing and wagging its tail.

You show great promise as a filmmaker.

Death Monkey, ha ha what's a horror movie without clichés? (and I'll have you know, Quarantine's ending was really [REC]'s ending, which I had barely heard about when I was writing the script) The reason why there were some scenes that were in one take was because other takes just didn't work out or there was no continuity, so I had to work with what I had. And yeah, I need to get a boom mic, which will definitely cut out all the white noise in the background and would make a better experience. And I'm glad to see that you liked me (ha ha).

ReaperCreeper, this WAS an exercise for me. To be honest, it's my first finished short film that had a script behind it. The other attempts were failures because of difficulties.

Jordan, I wish I had a budget for this and actually invest in proper equipment. I would have been happier...Maybe I could re-shoot this a different way with my Filmmaking class equipment (they have mics and greenscreens and stuff like that)...Or maybe not. Too much work

Kev, yep! Finally got around to do it Glad you liked it, and sorry for the sound inconsistencies...When it comes to iMovie, it's the worst experience because when there's a lot of clips and sound and stuff, it gets all choppy and usually freezes on me

Alffy, ha ha sorry I accidently messed up my comment (when I said "or you paying me?" I meant to say, "or me paying you" my bad ) I can take a look at your scripts. For the life of me, I cannot remember what happened in each, but I'll go back. Glad you enjoyed!

Zack, where have you been? It's a been a while. And I thought you'd enjoy this since you liked the script. Thanks for watching

Sham, you jumping put an immediate smile to my face. So far, you and two others (actually, the girls who were in this movie!) jumped at the same scene (!) Glad you liked it!


Thanks again everyone!

Sean

Sean    I think you did an excellent job overall bringing your words to life.  It's not that easy to do.  I too jumped at the fish...and yes the end was quarantine-ish... but it still made me suck in breath.  lol  

Great job!
Morgan

I don't even like horror and I could still appreciate what a great job you did on this short.

The compostion of the shots was very impressive, it was visually very stylish.

Do we all have to review everything on this website? Why can't everyone just enjoy the short film for what it is? worts and all.

Hey Sean,

Nicely done.  I read the script and I thought the cuts you made were effective.  The ending worked quite well.  What's your next project?

Michael

Sean,

Terrific work, man! Very well made. Got a couple of good jumps out of it.

Can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Morgan, thanks. I know what you mean when it comes to bringing a script to life. I had all these shots in my head on how to shoot the scene, and then when I tried it just didn't work out the way I wanted it to so I had to change it up. Glad you jumped.

Tonkatough, glad you liked it. Ha ha, I don't mind the mistakes that were pointed out during the film. It helps along with learning how to shoot a better film, just like reviewing scripts on here and pointing out the mistakes helps you learn how to write a better script.

Michael, I don't have a next project right now (or at least outside of school). Though, inside of school, we're going to be shooting parts of a music video and practice with stop animation.

Chism, yet again, I'm glad I scared people. I love it when people jump during movies because I get more enjoyment out of watching people get scared than watching the movie.

Sean

Okay, I just got around to this, and I have to ask...

Did the fish do it?  His eyes looked kinda shifty to me.

I really can't go on about any technical stuff, because I ultimately don't know what the hell I'm talking about in that regard unless something is blatantly obvious.  Nothing here struck me that way, so I guess you're in good shape.

Anyway, some good startle scares in here, and I enjoyed it.  Nice job.

Pretty neat, Sean.

I laughed at  the fish (a complement) cos it was unexpected even though I read the script. (It has been awhile) I do remember the final scene. It was bad ass too.

So I have to ask...

Are you going to turn this one into a feature???

It could be an easy thing to do... show the killer... the why of it... what led up to it... if it ended or just went on somewhere else...

I ask because I would like to see it and I know you can do it.

Good job,
Cindy

Shelton, how'd you know? I thought I hid the fact that the fish was the suspect the whole time pretty well! You must have a knack for finding stuff like that! Thanks for watching.

Cindy, you laughed?? LAUGHED??? That is an insult to me! Just kidding, glad you liked it. I'm not so sure about a sequel or making it full length. I don't really  have an idea on how I can continue it, and I still need to create the idea that it's either something paranormal or an actual person-killer...or both!


Sean

Sean,

I go to Haunted houses at Halloween and laugh while others scream.
It's the unexpected... and I can't scream, never could...

As for making this into a feature, all you have to do is build more mystery about what happened, maybe it is YOU who is the real killer???
Kill more people...
Reveal the killer. Maybe he has two sides to his personality... ???
then come up with the ending... Is he killed, jailed... or no one ever finds him out...

I think it would be cool.

Hey Sean,

That pretty good dood, some honest to God scares there. Well done. I thought it could have been a bit shorter though (or thighter) and maybe normalize the audio, some of it was too low and some of it to loud.

I loved how the dog just slept on this floor while Jenna starts to get freaked out.

Solid!

Cheers
Rob

Not bad, dude. Some nice shots and an impressive soundtrack for such a low key project. The sound is a little problematic, especially from shot to shot. There's lots of things you could do about that though (filters, crossfades, etc.). The fish was the best part, even if you weren't supposed to laugh. Good job!

Cindy, I don't scream either. I laugh at everyone else's fear and they get mad at me for it, but I can't help it! Though, the last time I screamed at a horror movie was just a few months ago when I was watching [REC] on the computer! I even had my eyes covered (!) and when the thing I knew was going to pop out popped out, I screamed. I was so embarrassed. Ha ha. But any way, if people REALLY want me to write a sequel or feature or whatever, I can try and squeeze one out and try and make it work...

Sniper, yep, I've taken note of the "tighter editing" situation. And I'd like to get a boom mic if I could find a cheap one (and if I filmed stuff more often, I don't really do it much outside of school). And that's Daisy. She's really fat and lazy and I realized she was just laying there while Jenna was all freaked out! Ha ha ha I love that dog...

James, glad you enjoyed it. I don't really like having cross-fades or dissolves between scenes because it feels too...story-ish, like they're chapters rather than scenes, so I try and stray from them. But I'll be practicing on the sound more. And the fish part seems to be getting a lot of people! He he he


Sean

Quoted from Zombie Sean But any way, if people REALLY want me to write a sequel or feature or whatever, I can try and squeeze one out and try and make it work... Sean

Good.

I think it would be cool.
And it would be more "practice" for you (as you say).

I'll be waiting to see it.

Cindy

i hope all this positivity encourages you to do a feature, i think this short would make a good opening scene, scream style! i need to get making shorts for my university portfolio gahhh but this is inspiring to get off my bumm

Cindy, I'll think about it. I have some ideas for another feature script and a short script so I don't want to have too much on my plate. And wouldn't plan on filming it either.......I don't do features. Too long. Too much memory on my computer

Kev, I would recommend you get off your "bumm." Filming stuff is tedious work, but I think it's a lot of fun! Especially when you sit down and start editing, and you're the first to actually see the work unfold.

Sean

Hey Sean, this was pretty well made.  You really did a good job of incorporating sound into the horror.  It kind of reminded me of what M. Night Shymalamaladingdong did with "Signs".  Acting was eh, but the production values were off the hook.  Very nice, my friend!