Quoted from bert General Comment to Anybody:  This series would be a great way to kill some time during the lockdown, by the way.  You could do lots, lots worse.

Wise words. But anyway, things have been moving kind of slow since work started on Stoned Patriots II, but hopefully the new episode should be done sooner rather than later, along with a revision of the last episode.

And thanks for the read DOM.

-Zavier

I'll wait for the revision of the last episode like you said because I'd like to read it when you're proud of it... That's when you know it'll be good.

I kind of feel like kicking my own ass because it is partly my fault that I have to wait longer for episode 7 of ENM.

But anyways, Bert was right this series does need hundreds more reads because when the demand is high you are forced to write episodes faster.

So, any plans for an Episode 8? Or if that's it, maybe a second season?

Yeah, there are plans for episode eight, the plan was to have ten episodes for the first season then start on a second season. When this will happen? I honestly have no idea, and seem like no one really cares but you and one other loyal reader (Wesley).

It is my hope to get some new episodes done, but at the rate I kick out episodes; the war might be over before Except No Mercy sees a second season.

Anyway, thanks for reminding me about this and getting me depressed.

-Zavier

Is the revision up yet? I'm a loyal reader to a few series and yet none updated much after  awhile so I'm sitting here pulling my hair out wondering why they torture me so.

Quoted from Old Time Wesley Is the revision up yet?

Nope, not yet but it is done. I'll submit it soon and hopefully it will be up with the next batch of scripts. Then it is back to writing about the founding father and a magical talking bong.  

-Zavier

EPISODE 1 REVIEW: PART 1

I haven't read any of the other reviews for this script, so forgive me if I say something that’s already been said.

I'm writing this as I read:




*********SPOILERS**********(I THINK)

BEFORE YOU READ: When I say "PAGE 1," I don't mean the title page. I start page count on the first page of the script, just in case you were wondering.


PAGE 1) I'm not going to point out everyone on every page, but there were a few "We" in here that should be taken out.



PAGE 2)
"West is jolted out of bed." I'm not sure if that’s how you intended for it to be or what, but I think it should be "West jolts up out of bed."
Also, when you want to superimpose text on the screen, you don't have to center the text and most of the time you only write "SUPER:" The way you've got it written down in the center is sort of sloppy. Well, to me anyway.


PAGE 5)
I noticed that when Connelly stops and points and the tank, you said "a huge M-1 Abrams Tanks blocks that blocks the entire road." I think the S in TANKS should be gone since there is only one tank.


PAGE 6)
There is a bit of a dialogue-run-on with an action.

OLD MAN
Mount Dew, you buy. West gets a
little frustrated.

The "West gets a little frustrated" needs to be broken away from the dialogue. No big deal.


PAGE 7)
There is a "camera" on this page when the Humvee drives by Baghdad highway. That shouldn’t be there. Try not to use camera directions or “we sees” ever.


PAGE 11)
Another dialogue-run-on with an action.

WEST
Sir, yes, sir! Jones begins walking down the stairs.


PAGE 15)

You wrote "West stars out the window.' Just replace stars with stares.

PAGE 17)
“They jumps to their feet,” should be “They jump to their feet,”


PAGE 1

Another run on with the dialogue and action.

WEST
I'm alright. Help Ty- Tyson. Jones'
eyes widen as he puts together what
West is trying to say.


END PART 1

I’ll have to finish up my review later. I’ve got things to do so I don’t have much time to write these things.

I’ll write more on what I liked and didn’t like in PART 2.

-Chris

Thanks for the partial review; I look forward to the other half. Most of the mistakes you've pointed out so far have already been correct, I just need to submit the revision (if I can find it in the mess that is "My Documents"). Thanks again for the review.


-Zavier  

In this part of the review I figured I'd just tell you what I liked/didn't like since you already have a revision and typo's might have all ready been corrected.

Here it goes.

PLOT: The story to this series is a lot better than most war series on telivision today. So far it's very interesting and kept me on the edge of my seat. The opening scene was great! I thought West had really died! Phew. He woke up. There isn't much to improve when it comes to plot, so I'll let this part stop here.

FINAL PLOT GRADE: 9/10

CHARACTERS: The characters in this were really well developed and I felt like I really knew them by the end. I felt every bit of emotion the characters were feeling. The opening scene was a really great way to introduce us to West and let us know how fast he could die, keeping us on the edge of our seats for him to really die. lol.

FINAL CHARACTER GRADE: 10/10

PACING: The pacing was also good. It didn't seem to fast or to slow to me and as I said before, it kept me waiting on the edge of my seat. Man...I really wish there was more to nit pick about...

FINAL PACING GRADE: 10/10

DIALOGUE: This part was OK. It wasn't bad but wasn't perfect either. If you go back to revise anything else, you may want to consider looking over the dialogue a bit just to sharpen things up. And wow! Soldiers cuss a lot, but that won't affect my rating of dialogue.

FINAL DIALOGUE RATING: 7/10


OVERALL SCORE: 90/100

All in all, this is one of the better series on the boards. I liked it very much and will move on to episode 2 as soon as I get a chance.

-Chris

I've decided that there will only be one season of Expect No Mercy. After the planned ten episodes are finished, that will be it. At the rate episodes are posted right now, the war (or occupation, whatever the hell you want to call it) will be over before I get to a second season.

-Zavier

Quoted from Nixon I've decided that there will only be one season of Expect No Mercy.

On the EpiGuide for E.N.M, there's a section for Season One & Two.

Quoted from DOM On the EpiGuide for E.N.M, there's a section for Season One & Two.

I haven't updated the site since early december of last year. I'll delete that section later today.

-Zavier

Well, I just finished up the second episode and figured I'd try to write you a review but I might not be able to make it a long one...for now. I'll edit it later if I have to.

So far, this as been a good series. I'm sad that there won't be a second season, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do.

This reminded me very much of an episode of Law & Order or something.

Oh yeah, while I'm thinking about it, what is the address to your Expect no Mercy web site??

Anyway, another great episode Nixon. I don't have many gripes at all. And why don't you have a 5-star format rating? Everything seemed OK to me.

-Chris

PS: Sorry I didn't offer much help. I don't have much time and will have to edit this when I post my review of the second episode.

-Chris again.

Quoted from FilmMaker06 Oh yeah, while I'm thinking about it, what is the address to your Expect no Mercy web site?

Thanks for the review. You can find the site here.

-Zavier

EDIT:

Also, it seems the EpiGuide Vote is up and running again. Your votes would be appreciated.

I started to read your script and realized that you don't have any idea what marines are about. If a marine pointed thier gun and another there would at least be a lot of cussing and maybe some ass kicking.  sorry, but you lost credibility from the get go.  Write what you know.