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I noticed it, too. I think perhaps there is no better day(s) to get something submitted back to the boards...
If only.
I guess if your character didn't die it would be a different screenplay, an even bigger twist would be if you were in fact the one unmasked and taken to the looney bin. That would have been top 3 classic moments on these boards but the ending as is still has its beauty.
Now whoever tries to follow this up, even George or Bert will be lost in this ones lore but we have many ways to branch off and since it is all in good fun people aren't going to read them as they would every other one which makes me a little more confident that others will follow.
Ive tried posting on this like four times, but my computers internet isn't working so well, let's hope it works this time.
Spoilers
I really liked it but I need a few, uhm, clarifications....
Was the Dr.Pepper at the end at all related to the "Dr, pepper is independenntly owned" argument in the photo thread?
And what was going on in that one party scene where, I barfed on wes's shoes, and then suddenly, bam it's jack black! I dont get it. I really dont. Seriously. I dont get it....
If it makes you feel any better, George and I discussed your section at least five times longer than anybody elses...and that includes Wesley.
"How far should we go?" he asked...."Do we dare?" I replied....and so on....
You didn't even smile?
He smiled. He told me so. (If he didn't smile, would you be here to make the post...)
No, seriously, there are going to be very few people who get the joke. The joke being that people suddenly disappear from the boards. They don't. They get their posts deleted and get 'suggestions' that 'You are stupid' isn't very constructive criticism. Then they get banned for six months or so. I'm usually pretty good at removing uncontructive criticism so that it appears that, "...Don can take away your existence without leaving his living room..." (actually, it is a shed in my backyard).
So happens that two events coincided such that it appeared that Phil had an individual or two 'dissappeared'. (Hey, works for me, everyone beats up on Phil who is clueless as to what happened and I'm still the 'good' guy.).
So, for the record.
1. There has never been a case of one person getting another person banned. 2. You don't get banned for one infraction of the rules. 3. It doesn't hurt to read the rules tho, so's you know why your post was suddenly 'dissappeared'. 4. If you do get banned, you have an e-mail in your inbox that has the phrase, "perhaps this isn't the forum for you..." 5. The only thing that makes me angry is plagiarism and even that won't get you banned (only deleted). 6. Just because your post was deleted doesn't mean I don't like you.
This is actually my scene extended. It ran for about 7 pages and since everyone else's was a page or two at the most, we felt it was way too long. It also contained some more #747 references that were easily cut out. The intro was longer, there was an entire sequence with the door bell, and coming out of it was longer too. Here's the original 7 page version of my scene. Yup, still being self-serving.
INT. THE WESLEYMOBILE
Wesley inserts another CD into the player in the love machine. The sounds of Tom Jones singing "Thunderball" belt out very softly over the wimpy speakers.
WESLEY (V.O.) So once more I return to the mysterious letter and its unfathomable clues but then it hit me like another release poster for number seven-forty- seven of course "golden chance I..." and I suppose there was no chance he meant Golden I as in Goldeneye and that could only mean one person.
Wesley's Ninja Mobile passes into a darker part of town. Above him, a person hangs on the side of a wall looking at him.
WESLEY (V.O.) Few people come here. This part of town gives me the creeps.
The person leaps onto the top of the van. Wesley skids to a stop.
The person leaps from the van onto the side of the building on the opposite side of the street from where it started and scrambles back up the wall and onto the roof, disappearing.
Wesley leans out his window, watching it.
WESLEY (V.O.) I think I know what that was like his imagination reaching too far beyond the written page because the guy's crazy haha.
EXT. THE DARK FORTRESS - NIGHT
Wesley parks in front of a large seven-story fortress reaching like a stacked pyramid into the sky. He walks up the steps and knocks. A voice sounds from behind the door.
VOICE (O.S.) Ring the doorbell!
Wesley leans into the door.
WESLEY What?
VOICE (O.S.) Ring the doorbell!
WESLEY What?
The door swings open. A man of about 45 stands in the doorway, dressed in a long black coat, dark trousers and shirt, metal gauntlets on his wrists and ankles, and a sword strapped to his back. This is DAVID TAYLOR.
DAVID I said, Ring the doorbell.
WESLEY Why-
The door slams in Wesley�s face. He sighs and shakes his head.
WESLEY (V.O.) This is dumber than Scream 5, a sequel to another fan's Scream 4. Like a neverending saga of stupidity...
He presses the doorbell button. The James Bond theme plays loud and long. In fact, it goes on for the full length of the song (about a minute and a half). Wesley appears bored and annoyed.
The door opens.
DAVID Yes, what do you want?
WESLEY (V.O.) This guy has killer written all over him. Gruff expression. Weapon on him. Looks like he wants to kick my- aaaaaaaaah!
INT. THE DARK FORTRESS - NIGHT
David grabs Wesley and tosses him inside the building. Wesley thumps against a wall. David stands close to him.
DAVID What do you want here? This isn't a good time?
Wesley glances to one side. In a dark room lit by candles sits a lone person, chained to a desk containing a COMPUTER. The fierce clatter of a keyboard being typed to death sounds across the room.
David releases Wesley, allowing him to enter the room.
WESLEY Is he ok?
DAVID He doesn't like to be disturbed.
Wesley walks toward the fierce typer and circles the desk to stand beside him. The typer is breathing heavily. His eyes are glowing a bright red and unblinking as words trail across the screen.
Wesley looks at the screen. About fifteen icons decorate the bottom of the screen, each one indicating the program "Microsoft Word."
Wesley looks into the typer's face. He appears to be around 30, with day-old whiskers and a month old haircut. He is dressed in a ragged T-shirt and dirty jeans. This is GEORGE WILLSON.
WESLEY George Willson I pictured as more ... well, no, that's pretty much how I pictured him.
George swings around and hisses at Wesley, inhuman. He immediately returns to typing. Wesley backs up and stands next to David, wide-eyed.
DAVID He won't be disturbed when he writes about my people. Come back later. Maybe then he will speak to you.
Wesley exits the building. A poster reading "#747: Coming March 2006!" now hangs on the door.
Wesley waits about 5 seconds before turning around pressing the doorbell again. This time, it gives a resounding "ding-dong." The door opens.
DAVID Ah, you're back.
WESLEY Is this a good time?
DAVID Yes, he's waiting for you.
INT. THE DARK FORTRESS - NIGHT
Wesley enters and walks into the study, now lit with overhead lighting. The computer is off. George Willson is sitting in a highback chair with a cocktail glass sitting on an end table beside him.
He is dressed in a black suit with a fresh haircut and shave. He reads from a book with the simple title of "Edgar Allen Poe." He looks up as Wesley enters.
GEORGE Ah, Wesley, Private Dick. Welcome.
WESLEY How did you change the...?
GEORGE Change?
WESLEY Uh, nothing.
Throughout the voiceover, George looks around, as if he hears something.
WESLEY (V.O.) Not only did this guy have a few loose screws, but this place seems more than just a little off.
GEORGE Did you hear something?
WESLEY Um, no.
GEORGE What can I do for you?
WESLEY It's Don. He's dead.
GEORGE (emotionless) Goodness, that's terrible. Vodka martini?
WESLEY No, thank you. Do you know anything about it?
GEORGE No, why would I? Mint Julep?
WESLEY No, I'm fine. Were you here all night?
GEORGE As far as I know. Pina Colada?
WESLEY No thanks. Have you heard anything about anyone else in SpecTown? Threats? Uprisings?
GEORGE The cost of Vodka went up.
WESLEY No, I mean about the case.
GEORGE Yes, cases are expensive. I have to buy it by the bottle.
WESLEY About Don.
GEORGE Corleone?
WESLEY No, our Don.
GEORGE I don't think we own anything together, Wesley. That's kinda weird.
WESLEY Don, the admin.
GEORGE The admin? I don't know that one, but perhaps a Daiquiri.
WESLEY Kill me now.
GEORGE I know that one! Three ounces each of Tequila, 151 Proof Rum, Vodka (which is still expensive), and Gin, along with 2 ounces of Amaretto.
WESLEY Oh God, I'm not thirsty.
GEORGE Thanks, Wesley, but you don't have to call me God.
WESLEY (V.O.) This guy is clearly too scatterbrained to have done anything. I don't even think he could pull it off.
GEORGE Don't be so sure of that.
Wesley turns and looks at George, who smirks. Wesley stares only for a moment before David appears behind him.
DAVID It's time for you to leave.
WESLEY It is?
Wesley looks behind him into the study. It has returned to its former state of George chained to the computer with glowing red eyes and fierce typing. Wesley looks very confused.
DAVID If this crime occurred tonight, you can trust that he had nothing to do with it.
Wesley walks around David, never taking his eyes from him.
WESLEY Excuse me for saying exactly what I'm thinking, but this is messed up!
DAVID Welcome to his world.
Wesley exits.
EXT. THE DARK FORTRESS - NIGHT
The door closes behind Wesley. Now the poster on the door reads "#747: Coming May 2006!"
He walks down the street at a hastened pace towards his van. He glances overhead. The person sits on the wall again, staring ... smiling. Wesley breaks into a run.
INT. WESLEY'S LOVE MACHINE
Wesley leaps into his sweet ride and nails the gas. It screeches off into the night.
WESLEY Note to self: remind me never to go back there again, I mean, some people are better off left alone and in fact, that sequence was so long, it really feels more like shameless self-promotion than anything having to do with the case. I'm so disturbed I'm not even using my internal dialogue. (V.O.) That's better.
This is actually the second version of Bert's scene. I'll let the first out out tomorrow. I thought it would be amusing to spoof his Farm script, so I stole bits of it word for word for this. Problem was, again, that I am apparently incapable of writing a short scene, and his turned into the second (or third) longest scene in the script. Since we were writing it and had the longest scenes, he chopped it down to the version in the script now. I saved most of mine by adding the comment about it being self-serving...then Bert added that I should be ashamed of myself. You'll also note that the "better days" comment Wesley makes in this scene got moved to my scene in the final version. This is from the same draft as the scene before and I think is twice removed from the final draft.
EXT. SPECTOWN - NIGHT
The rain is coming down steadily as the van heads towards a large wooden structure in the shape of am enormous windmill sandwiched between the run-of-the-mill skyscrapers.
Its blades are painted red and white with the phrase Newcomer Acres printed on them, and they spin freely in the wind produced by the storm.
INT. WESLEY’S MAGICAL MYSTERY MACHINE - NIGHT
Wesley skids to a halt as the pavement turns into gravel.
WESLEY (V.O.) I considered whether this mild- manner gentleman would even consider taking out the almighty but the guy is clever enough to write badly and still implant an obscure reference to his ever- present and always-read, “The Farm” where burning of the fields was a major point in the story so the reference to “burn” could lead me here.
EXT. BERT’S WINDMILL - NIGHT
Wesley gets out of his machine and walks toward the windmill.
WESLEY (V.O.) It’s also worth mentioning that one of his lead characters uses a pencil as a lethal weapon haha.
Wesley knocks on the door. The blades creak steadily over his head. The open opens just crack. BERT, a man looking very disheveled peeps out.
BERT Wesley, how are you?
WESLEY I’ve had better days.
BERT What do you want?
WESLEY Where is she, Bert?
BERT She’s here. She’s fine. What’s going on?
WESLEY Don’s dead stabbed with a pencil.
Bert opens the door and stands up full, his expression wide-eyed.
BERT Dead? You’re sure?
WESLEY Sure as I’ll see another plot that will never be written show up in five minutes haha.
BERT She didn’t do it.
WESLEY Let me talk to her.
Bert looks at Wesley for moment and sighs.
BERT Come in.
INT. BERT’S WINDMILL - NIGHT
Bert leads Wesley through a space too impossibly large to actually fit inside the windmill. Bert raps on the door. He creaks it open.
BERT Angel? You’ve got some visitors, baby. This is really important, and you really need to listen.
Angel sits in a solitary chair facing a picture of a sunny day hanging on her wall. She doesn’t pay Bert any attention. With an exasperated huff, Bert signals Wesley into the room.
Wesley enters. As he does, Angel immediately turns to meet him with the darkest brown eyes we have ever seen. They smolder.
BERT I wonder why she’s looking at you like that. Never seen her do it before.
WESLEY Well I guess I have that effect on people you know love me or hate me so maybe I found a new friend haha.
BERT I don’t think so. It’s kind of weird.
WESLEY So tell me, Angel, were you out tonight?
She only stares.
BERT She hasn’t been anywhere.
Wesley turns to Bert.
WESLEY Really, have you been here all night?
BERT Well, I did have to get some fresh ink for my printer. You know how it is when you run out, but I was only gone a second.
WESLEY Why are you acting so nervous?
BERT No reason. You kind of showed up suddenly.
WESLEY Well, I know this is sudden and all and believe me I appreciate you letting me to see her but a few things have happened lately...perhaps during the time you were on the roa--ah!
Wesley jumps. Angel stands behind him smiling. Wesley reaches behind him and grabs a pencil stuck into his butt. He pulls it out.
WESLEY That hurt.
BERT Stabbed you with a pencil. Hm, never saw it coming.
INT. WESLEY’S SUPER BUS - NIGHT
Wesley jumps in and then jumps up so his rear is off the seat for a moment. Gingerly, he lowers his butt into the seat.
WESLEY (V.O.) Ow. Never saw it coming my ass or to my ass even haha.
Pages: 
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SimplyNoir
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You'll also note that the "better days" comment Wesley makes in this scene got moved to my scene in the final version. This is from the same draft as the scene before and I think is twice removed from the final draft.
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