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A Very Bad Day by Roger Smith - Short - Things are not always as they appear. A wonderfully true anecdote leading to a wonderfully horrible day for Mike, who is not always what he might appear to be. 9 pages - doc, format
A very bad day indeed. I liked this one a lot. The UFO and God demanding Mike repent were the highlights for me. One thing I didn't understand, though, was why the fat lady was ranting about magazines she herself was paying for. It's funny, don't get me wrong, but she's just drawing attention to herself. Maybe if she tried to steal them or something and got caught. Same effect and might even make the scene funnier. Anyway, good job with this one, Roger.
There were so many unexpected things in this script. I laughed my butt off. Hail God! Hail Mary! Ahhh! I think a little person would have been a nice addition to this one, but hey, it was fun without it.
Award winning screenwriter Available screenplays TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
A strange collection of crazy events that felt more random than a Simpsons or Family Guy chapter, but it worked. You had me chuckling for the most part, good job.
Haha. Everything that could have gone wrong did in this here story. Dialogue was good, most of the sequences were good too, cept I didn't particularly enjoy the UFO, but that's just me. On the other hand, my favorite part had to be the medieval fair by far. I was laughing out loud after that sequence!!! "Fetch, freak!" haha.
This one had a pretty good plot. It had some funny moments and it streamed from situation to situation really well. I think it’s so visual that it would look better on screen than it does reading it but it’s pretty nice.
The only thing is a plot hole: Lucy is talking to Mike while he’s dodging lightning but never acknowledges it. That would be a hard thing to miss.
I think the bad tempered lady at Target should meet up with Jack Ash though.
you did well on having most of the stuff in the beginning coming back through the script. Even if some where random I felt that actually enhanced the sillyness and made it funnier.
Sorry, gotta hit this one...dial tone on a cell phone? Um, no. I mean, even landline phones don't get immediate dial tones when you hang up. That's purely a movie and TV convention. But a cell phone never has a dial tone at all (okay, except when you're making a 3-way call, but that's kind of an exception).
Geez, talk about a bad day. I don't think they can get much worse than that. I liked how this script flowed and moved, and it was very funny. Had to feel sorry for Mike, but his situations not only fit well with where you were taking us, but they were absolutely the worst thing that could possibly happen which makes for some good comedy. Well done.
I thought it was funny, the U.F.O. kind of threw me off because of the closeness to reality you had going, but otherwise it was good. I was gonna tell you to establish that the script is pretty zany right from the start, to prepare people for the aliens and god, but now I think that if it was ever on screen the U.F.O. just as the first completely unrealistic thing would be a hilarious surprise.
Ah, those poor Target workers, he's the second one to cop it in this writing exercise. Anyway, the whole mistaken identity thing you had going on was great. I also enjoyed the way the magazine conversation from the start, tied back into the story with the UFO. It was an entertaining script. I hope you resubmit it once you get time to polish up the formatting. 7/10
Funny little sketch. I enjoyed how you were able to keep the series of bad events going from one to another. In some parts I think Mike could've kept his mouth shut instead of talking to himself. Good job though.