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Play Dead by Stephen Wells (SteveUK) writing as Anonymous 3 - Short, Apocalypse, Horror, YA - In the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse, one man believes he has the perfect strategy to survive, but what will his plan cost him? 9 pages - pdf, format
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
as I said in the other zombie script review, I'll try not to show a bias, as i don't believe anything fresh can ever come from this genre again. hopefully you change my mind...
... hey, you kinda did it. cool. we've seen people act like zombies 100 times, but to actually base a story around that isn't a bad idea at all. props for that.
that being said, i would have really liked it if you tried to go about about this is a way other than voiceover. it kinda cheapens it to me.
this isn't bad so far, but flashbacks now. just seems like a cool idea but you took the easy way out with that and VO. I'm rushing to judgement though... maybe... probably.
Ok, this is pretty good overall. I'm nitpicking with the VO and Flashback critiques. it's your script, I'm not gonna tell you ways I would have tried to write it to avoid the VO. the flashback paid off in a nice way too.
While the zombie stuff was as generic and derivative as it always is, showing it through the eyes of a character pretending to be a zombie was a good angle.
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i don't think you ever need the whole "how it happened" stuff, so that eliminates some dialogue. he sees someone innocent running, and whispers for them to follow him. we get our first look at him in his zombie get up.
there could have been a scene with him and that person laying low, and he tells them his methods of survival. he gets all his backstory out in that scene, and the other person thinks he's nuts... immediately gets killed. so the next few pages are all action, wouldn't even need dialogue until the climactic stuff.
... but again, I'm not trying to re-write the script. I'm really not, just offering an alternative take. i still liked it
I'd list my "work" here, but I don't know how to hyperlink.
"Career" Highlights -2, count em, 2 credits on my IMDB page. -One time a fairly prominent producer e-mailed me back. -I have made more than $1000 with my writing! -I've won 2 mugs... and a thong. (polaroids of me in thong available for $10 through PM)
I almost quit reading with the V.O. until I realized that it wasn't just a narrator. Maybe if that was made clear earlier, it wouldn't have distracted me so much. Agree that the backstory of how it all came to be could be shortened or lost all together. And agree that the son's dialog at the end could be lessened for more impact.
Title works with the logline - sounds like an entertaining idea. I’m in… Zombies can work as long as there’s something fresh. The Walking Dead have kind of made it a tough gig but...
Nicely written - world feels grounded and ‘real’ with a story that pulls me along. As a W.D fan, it’s hard for me to see past the whole ‘blending in’ angle; but despite that I actually liked where you took it. I’m not sure I quite get the logic of Trapper Hat partaking in the eating - a step too far? Other than that there’s a certain irony to the situation that carries this to a satisfying payoff.
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It's been stated many times before, but the undead genre is about as fresh as a zombie's underpants. The script read quickly and easily, but just about everything in the story I'd seen before in Walking Dead. Virus spreading like wildfire. Covering yourself with zombie guts to walk unnoticed. Hiding from psycho survivors.
One gruesomely nice touch was Trapper Hat joining in the feast on the fat guy's body.
The down ending was a good idea, but detailing the son's age would have been a way to show the passage of time. I was confused how long Trapper Hat had been out there alone.
Why is a "Middle Aged Survivor" with the son and not the Wife? Would have been a more impactful and tragic scene if the two of them had been searching for the Trapper all this time, only to shoot him.