Ahoy writer,

We're definitely not going to get around to all of these - but I got to yours. Ah, what a noble sentiment. Luv the idea of this and while I do enjoy much of the dialogue - I more or less share the same sentiments as some others, it could do with a haircut. Still up in the air as to the epilogue but overall like it for what it was. Best of Irish luck!-A

The dialogue was an interesting way to approach this challenge. I appreciate that you did your own thing. Lots of opportunities to expand this going forward.

There’s really no narrative drive here the story goes nowhere and it’s just people talking.

Quoted from Kb679 There’s really no narrative drive here the story goes nowhere and it’s just people talking.

https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b=News,m=1080786748

Please be constructive with your comments.
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So far, I'm not seeing much of anything else.

This is a great place to learn, give constructive feedback, get your scripts produced, get exposure etc.

You have been given fair warning.

I was quite moved by this. The dialog captured the essence of the old Biblical classics like Ben Hur, The Ten Commandments and “The King of Kings”. The lines seemed rather demanding and would require classical Shakespearean training to do the piece justice.

While the message of the work was delivered in a way that was subtle and required understanding of Christianity, the message in the story was quite powerful. I now know what a bowling pin feels like. If I become a minister, I will steal your script to use as a sermon. You can sue me later.

Thank you so much for the read, D. A.  I will offer that I don't feel like this is my best work.  I had decided when the OWC Challenge was put up that I definitely had nothing to offer.  I'm the "Hallmark, happy ending" girl and felt I had no hope of writing about super powers and super heroes saving the world.  But it was nearing Easter and something whispered, "Hey...wait a minute" and that little idea was hatched.  I literally sat down and wrote it in less than two hours, but I've found that I cannot resist these OWC challenges.  As I've said before, apparently the only thing that will prod me to sit down and diligently formulate a story is a theme and a deadline - LOL.  I'm still not sure about that bit of my psychological makeup, but it is what it is.

Anyway, thank you for your kind words - I don't give sermons (my husband may disagree), but you may use this one any time you feel like getting up in the pulpit.     My superhero promises not to sue.

Kathy