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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    May, 2015 One Week Challenge  ›  Elevated Blood Pressure - OWC
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  Author    Elevated Blood Pressure - OWC  (currently 3579 views)
oJOHNNYoNUTSo
Posted: June 6th, 2015, 4:02pm Report to Moderator
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When the mythology kicked in, I was invested in the story. Everything before that seemed it was setting the table for camp. I thought the ghost hunter angle was cool. The character descriptions were great - I like the simple, accessible approach. Some of the passages are slightly overwritten. Easy fix.

Oh hai, Dustin.

I see you weren't a big fan of this. The concept is strong, ghost hunters. I'd imagine the majority of an audience would think these folks are a bunch of weirdos from the start. I'd recommend adding an element where the ghost hunters are fakes, only to get more than what they bargained for in the end.
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Dustin
Posted: June 6th, 2015, 6:33pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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I thought that I already did make them out to be first time ghost hunters. There are a couple of lines of exposition that explain it. Darius walks away at the prospect that things may be getting real. Before that they'd just messed about going to spooky places is the implication.

I think this is feature territory, a quick 80 page running around slashing everyone up kinda thing. Not really short territory. It's all been done before. I could write that shit all day, but it's not what I'm really feeling I should pursue.

Thanks for the words of encouragement though mate. Hope I was kind to yours.



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Dustin  -  June 6th, 2015, 6:51pm
tired.
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oJOHNNYoNUTSo
Posted: June 6th, 2015, 6:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dustin
I could write that shit all day, but it's not what I'm really feeling I should pursue.


I hear that. Occasionally I get sucked into a mindset of putting my own convictions aside just to get that deal. I choose not to settle for it, even if my creative pursuit is unattractive to folks who matter.


Quoted from Dustin
Hope I was kind to yours.


You were very kind to ours.
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