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Are we to assume we are watching the TV? If so, you'll want "INSERT TV SCREEN", or the like, otherwise, we'll be watching Rosie, watching the TV.
Also, what do we hear when the TV is muted? Nothing?
No reason to have the Closed Captioning as dialogue, unless I'm really missing something here.
Hmmm...
The writing, for me, doesn't work to portray what you're after.
What you're after is quite good, though, and I love the concept. I do not like the execution at all.
Characters are weak. Where are the parents? Why is the room they're in so shitty, yet they have a big TV and phones? I don't know what to really say here, as I think you're on to something, but it needs some more thought...probably more pages.
Hmm... Nice idea, just feels like it needs another pass. I found the writing a little confusing at times (although generally good), but that could be easily remedied with a fresh set of eyes.
I could see this making a really nice little short though, and wouldn't be surprised if it gets picked up in no time.
Pretty creative story here. I think this one would actually work better on screen than it does on page.
*SPOILERS*
The writing is very good for the most part, though I don't like the way you described the found footage aspects. And the end where the brother gets killed is more than a little clunky.
Still, I think this one nails the challenge. Definitely one of my favorites thus far.
This works. It's an interesting idea to turn a YouTube ghost hunt into something personal. I think this could make a scary short film if the right effects were applied.
One small criticism: all the technical camera descriptions get in the way of the story early on. Reducing them might make for a cleaner read. On the other hand, they might be helpful for filmmakers.