After so many comments, I weigh in thinking:
1. Aside from the many comments about the over-written introduction, I liked this story and thought it was well written.
2. Weyland has to be the stalker because he is the only male character we meet. Aside from the mention of Yasmin and Rob who got their wishes, we are alone with Weyland and Lydia.
3. Because Lydia has been rejecting his advances (none of which we have seen), he seeks his revenge by granting her wish, but not what she wanted.
4. She is forever in the unending loop of in-and-out of reality.
5.When the writer pens The Gift II, do they re-enter the loop to do more damage to her?

Hey writer,

Really well written and a breeze to read.

Has a real Twilight Zone feel to it which I liked.

Would like the dialogue about what she wants done to whoever's hair it is to be a bit clearer though.

Good luck!

It would be horrifying to be in Lydia's shoes at the end of this script. You've definitely come up with a nightmarish scenario.

I wonder how Weyland is going to use this to his advantage. He must really hate her.  

Good imagination went into this. And it's scary without being graphic. Kept me on my toes too.

The story to me comes as incomplete or maybe not well-rounded rather. Weyland did a bad thing but his motivation is not explained. Maybe if it was there... Also, she's way too upset about the lock of hair but she seems a silly superficial type, so maybe that's why.
I still want to see why he done it.
Nice work

Revenge.

I like this. A decent little short for the owc. Rounded off nicely. Good dialogue and action. And yes he had to be the stalker, yes?

Hello all!

First and foremost, thank you everyone for reading and your suggestions and thoughts. Loved reading all of them, and seeing what you all had to guess at what the hell was going on.

Libby, you'll have to eat your hat...

My intention was that Weyland was NOT the stalker.

The stalker is someone whom we never see, just his lock of hair.

Weyland is just some dumb teenager who knows a spell or two. He had no intention of sending Lydia to another realm, it was just based on her last line about wanting to be alone.

So, I've rewritten the script to lean toward your guys' suggestions. I updated the descriptions so that they read cleaner and shorter. Additionally, I detailed the color of each character's hair (even the lock of hair). Lydia is brunette, the lock of hair is blonde, and Weyland is black-haired. I also changed Lydia's request of being left alone to make it make more sense.

I'm not sure how I could make it any clearer that Weyland is NOT the stalker now. I'm going to resubmit the script, and if anyone is willing to re-read it (or read it as a first-timer), let me know how it is.

But, to clear things up: the stalker (whom we never see), gifts his lock of hair to Lydia. Lydia, in turn, has the hair used for a spell casted by Weyland. However, since the lock of hair was gifted to her, it was now hers to own, and the spell was casted onto HER. Unbeknownst to her, her plan backfired.

Thanks again everyone. This was a fun OWC all around!

Sean

Dammit! Where's my hat?  

Sean, excuse me but Weyland has to be the stalker. Otherwise random teen?

Sean...without going back and looking for it...there's a line along the lines of: "Did she say anything about me?" I think that's the line that's making everyone think he's the stalker. At least, that was the line that set me on that trail. It makes it seem like he was hopeful she put in a good word or something.

Hope that helps somewhat.

I'm not opposed to making Weyland the stalker. If anything, that would just make the most sense. I'll do another update. However, would she connect the dots that it was his lock of hair when she saw it was the same color as his when she met up with him? I want to keep it as the stalker's lock of hair. Kind of like, "Here is a piece of me, as yours to own."

This is, however, under the condition that they both go to the same school. Which I, as the writer, am under the assumption that they do.

Quoted from PKCardinal It makes it seem like he was hopeful she put in a good word or something.

He was hopeful, yes. He has a crush on Yasmin, and pretty much any girl at school. While this isn't shown or told in the script, it's the character background. While this sounds like it makes him the stalker, I attempted to drift away from that direction. However, I am now considering making him the stalker.

If I do go in the direction of Weyland being the stalker, I will end it on a different shot. I'll possibly have the dialogue changed a bit too, to make it more clear that Weyland is the stalker. Maybe he could be offended when Lydia says "I want to be alone." or whatever.

I will work on it!

Sean

Quoted from Zombie Sean I'm not opposed to making Weyland the stalker. If anything, that would just make the most sense. I'll do another update. However, would she connect the dots that it was his lock of hair when she saw it was the same color as his when she met up with him? I want to keep it as the stalker's lock of hair. Kind of like, "Here is a piece of me, as yours to own." This is, however, under the condition that they both go to the same school. Which I, as the writer, am under the assumption that they do. He was hopeful, yes. He has a crush on Yasmin, and pretty much any girl at school. While this isn't shown or told in the script, it's the character background. While this sounds like it makes him the stalker, I attempted to drift away from that direction. However, I am now considering making him the stalker. If I do go in the direction of Weyland being the stalker, I will end it on a different shot. I'll possibly have the dialogue changed a bit too, to make it more clear that Weyland is the stalker. Maybe he could be offended when Lydia says "I want to be alone." or whatever. I will work on it! Sean

Silly thought that popped into my head while reading this...if he's the stalker...how interesting would it be if she wasn't alone after the spell...like, she's in a room full of other girls...all of whom rejected him? Different story. But, interesting in its own way.

Anyway, you have an interesting short. Easy to shoot. You really can't go wrong.

As for the color of the hair...I don't think she'd necessarily put it together that brown hair in a bag that matches his hair color means he's the stalker. Now, if you made it orange or something...

But, you could use that to your advantage if you wanted. Maybe there are streaks of other colors in there that she doesn't notice until he starts the spell. Then, as he's casting the spell, she puts two and two together. But, it's too late.

Just spitballing here...ignore the ramblings.