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Hey, Dan, I started reading it but then remembered you were going to rewrite. So maybe my comment will be better use if you rewrite and let me know huh?
Since all the votes are in, and quite a few others have outed themselves, I will do the same.
This was mine.
I wasn't actually sure I wanted to enter it. The first draft came to 13 pages and all I could do was cut cut and cut some more. I had to cut so much that I turned it into a pisser and a different story.
The concept is so different. A clueless Jinn helps a geeky kid become a superhero, until he realizes what the kid really wants.
That was supposed to be the story. But, I couldn't do any of that. Ironically, all the negative comments wouldn't have been part of the story because they wouldn't have existed.
I plan to work on this and see if I can make it better. I'm glad some liked it, a few really liked it, but, most realized there were major flaws. I loved superheroes, and could have lived with comedy, but, 6 pages really killed me.
There were some really good OWC scripts and I send kudos your way!!
Thanks to everyone who read it. Oh, and yes, you can fuck yourself to death. Something about the blood rushing to the penis can't go back to the body, which is why if you take viagra and you have an erection for more then 4 hrs you have to go to the hospital.
Oh, and it is possible to have a broken dick. Yep. Very rare, but, if you are having a hard on, you can have your dick broken.
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
You know what they say? Always try to learn something new. Makes you think for a split second about that Viagara right?
And Khamanna, Sure, that works. I'd be happy and honored to have you read my real attempt at humor without the 6 page limit. Like I said, what I wrote here wasn't what I had envisioned.
I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good. I enjoy writing the same. Looking to team with anyone!
This would have been a consider from me and I do encourage you to do that rewrite. I will say this, personally I think this is a lot better than the first OWC you entered which shows how much you are developing as a writer so keep it up Dan. And keep on writing! (smutty laugh!)
For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
This would have been a consider from me and I do encourage you to do that rewrite. I will say this, personally I think this is a lot better than the first OWC you entered which shows how much you are developing as a writer so keep it up Dan. And keep on writing! (smutty laugh!)
Wow, Mark, thanks for the nice words. I'm gonna work on this. Right now, life has been nuts for me. In addition to everything that I have to deal with, my doctor was arrested for illegal medications (for pain meds) and we are buying a house/moving. I have to go out more then I want to due to the pain.
Plus it's my fav time of the year with hockey and basketball playoffs.
Mark, again, much respect bud. That was really nice to say.
I knew when I joined that a lot of people might not like my writing. But, I wanted to get better. And the only way to get better is to be humble and listen to good advice. No one knows your story better then you. If the advice doesn't fit with the scope of your story, then don't use it.
But, I'd rather hear it from you guys, then have it tossed for the exact same reason by an agent or company/producer.
Again, thanks Mark. I've tried hard to get better. And I do struggle with confidence, so, this will go a long way!!
I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good. I enjoy writing the same. Looking to team with anyone!
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Making the Perfect Hero - OWC
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