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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    The Business of Scripts    The Business Of Scripts  ›  AI generated coverage Moderators: eldave1, AnthonyCawood
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 9:59am Report to Moderator
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As mentioned in another thread, I've asked for feedback from the 'Creative Writing Coach' created by ChatGPT themselves as a dedicated GPT for writing. (this is available in ChatGPT Pro)

The script itself is on the site and was written for an OWC, I'll let you be the judge if you'd see this as useful...


Prompt Used
You are a successful producer and want to produce the attached short script, provide detailed feedback on the script in the form of an industry standard coverage report to get the script up to the point that it can be filmed.

Response
### Coverage Report: "Dolorem Ipsum" by Anthony Cawood

**Title:** Dolorem Ipsum  
**Author:** Anthony Cawood  
**Genre:** Horror/Supernatural  
**Pages:** 9  

#### Logline:
A couple performing a ritual from a dubious book inadvertently unleashes a horrific curse, leading to unforeseen consequences.

#### Summary:
"Dolorem Ipsum" unfolds on a cold night with Lewis and Amanda, a young couple, embarking on a mysterious ritual involving ancient incantations. Despite Lewis's skepticism, they proceed with the ritual, only to realize too late they've been enacting curses instead of blessings. The story culminates in a grotesque transformation and birth, echoing themes of naivety, consequence, and horror.

#### Comments:
- **Strengths:** The script is concise yet effectively sets a chilling atmosphere from the outset. The dialogue is natural, providing insight into the characters' personalities and relationship dynamics. The twist with the book's dual purpose (blessings/curses) is clever and unexpected, serving as a pivotal plot point that drives the narrative towards its climax.
- **Characterization:** Amanda and Lewis are well-delineated, with clear motivations and believable reactions to the unfolding events. Their banter and conflict provide a solid foundation for the story's progression.
- **Pacing and Structure:** The pacing is tight, with a clear arc that builds tension effectively towards the climax. The script transitions smoothly between scenes, maintaining focus and escalating the stakes.

#### Areas for Improvement:
- **Character Backstory:** While the script efficiently sets up the situation, a bit more context on why Amanda is so invested in the ritual could add depth to her character and her relationship with Lewis.
- **Visual Descriptions:** The script could benefit from more vivid descriptions of the supernatural elements, especially during the climax, to enhance visual storytelling and impact.
- **Dialogue:** Some of the banter, while engaging, occasionally veers towards cliché. Sharpening some of these exchanges to more directly reflect the unique aspects of their relationship could improve character depth.
- **Ending:** The conclusion is impactful but might benefit from a clearer connection to the characters' initial intentions and the thematic message. A brief denouement that reflects on the consequences of their actions could provide a more satisfying resolution.

#### Marketability:
The script has strong commercial potential in the horror genre, appealing to fans of supernatural and psychological horror. Its concise format makes it an excellent candidate for a short film, with the potential for festival circuit success. The unique premise and twist offer fresh elements to the well-trodden path of horror shorts.

#### Recommendation:
**Recommend with Considerations** - "Dolorem Ipsum" is a compelling, well-crafted script with a strong foundation in horror storytelling. With some refinement, especially in character development and visual descriptions, this script could be elevated further to maximize its impact and appeal to a broader audience.


I then asked it to expand on the feedback with the following prompt

Can you do this again, same format but expand on each section to provide more details and any specific suggestions to improve the script

And got this

I apologize for the confusion. Let's expand on each section with more specific suggestions and details based on the standard components of a script coverage report for "Dolorem Ipsum."

### Expanded Coverage Report for "Dolorem Ipsum"

#### Summary (Expanded):
"Dolorem Ipsum" is a tightly wound narrative that opens with Lewis and Amanda, a couple with contrasting beliefs, engaging in what appears to be a playful yet eerie ritual derived from a mysterious old book. As the night progresses, the ambiance darkens, and the couple's light-hearted adventure spirals into a terrifying ordeal. The climax is a harrowing sequence of events leading to a transformation that neither of them could have anticipated, embodying the story’s themes of curiosity, unintended consequences, and the thin veil between normalcy and the supernatural.

#### Comments (Expanded):

- **Strengths:**
  - The script's atmosphere is its biggest asset, adeptly balancing tension and intrigue from the start. The use of a simple setting (a home) for unfolding supernatural events is effective in creating a claustrophobic, intense experience.
  - Character dynamics between Lewis and Amanda are compelling. Their dialogue and interactions offer a believable portrayal of a couple caught between skepticism and belief, adding a layer of relational tension that enhances the narrative drive.
  - The twist—revealing the true nature of the incantations—is well-executed, providing a satisfying and shocking pivot point that propels the story to its climax.

- **Character Backstory (Suggestions for Improvement):**
  - Integrating brief flashbacks or dialogues hinting at past experiences could enrich character motivations. For Amanda, perhaps a personal anecdote or a family connection to the supernatural to justify her belief in the ritual. For Lewis, a moment that reveals his skepticism's root could add depth.
  
- **Visual Descriptions (Suggestions for Improvement):**
  - During key supernatural moments, especially the transformation, increasing the detail in visual descriptions could enhance the horror element. Describing the physical changes, the environment's reaction, or even the sensory experiences (sounds, smells) would immerse the audience more deeply.
  
- **Dialogue (Suggestions for Improvement):**
  - While the banter is a strength, ensuring each line serves to reveal character or advance the plot could tighten the script. Avoiding expository dialogue while subtly weaving in backstory or character traits can make exchanges more natural and impactful.
  - Experimenting with subtext can add richness to the dialogue, allowing characters to convey more with less, heightening the tension and mystery.

- **Ending (Suggestions for Improvement):**
  - The ending, while powerful, might leave the audience wanting more resolution or reflection. Adding a scene that showcases the aftermath of the events, perhaps through the lens of an external character (a neighbor or a family member), could provide closure while opening the door to broader thematic exploration.
  - Considering a more explicit tie-back to the story's central themes in the closing moments could amplify the narrative's resonance, leaving the audience with a lingering question or moral dilemma to ponder.

#### Marketability (Expanded):
In the horror genre, "Dolorem Ipsum" stands out for its intimate scale yet profound impact, making it an excellent candidate for indie filmmakers or streaming platforms specializing in short content. Its reliance on atmosphere over special effects is both a creative strength and a practical advantage for production, appealing to a segment of the horror audience that favors psychological depth and narrative twists over gore.

#### Recommendation (Expanded):
**Recommend with Considerations** - With specific enhancements to character depth, visual storytelling, and dialogue, "Dolorem Ipsum" could evolve from a compelling short script into an unforgettable piece of horror cinema. Its foundational elements are strong; refining these aspects would not only elevate its artistic merit but also its appeal to both filmmakers and audiences within the horror community.


What do you think?


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Stoneyscripts
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 10:10am Report to Moderator
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Would you like to compare to meavia's AL Overview?

If so here it is.


file:///home/chronos/u-fe1b8e751f1944e637c5dc41b4fe6342bcfc28bc/MyFiles/Downloads/No%20Time%20for%20Love%20-%20Coverage%20%20(1).pdf



Copy and paste into your browser.



I think there are a lot similarities.



My Screenplays

Two Moons
The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin
Bugger Bugger
The Implosion Resistance
The Pearl Earring (Series)
And many many more...
[/b]
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LC
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 5:09pm Report to Moderator
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That link doesn't work for me, John.


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Stoneyscripts
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 5:27pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
That link doesn't work for me, John.



I can send you a PDF if you like,


My Screenplays

Two Moons
The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin
Bugger Bugger
The Implosion Resistance
The Pearl Earring (Series)
And many many more...
[/b]
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LC
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 5:43pm Report to Moderator
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Ant, nope can't say I'm impressed.

It still just regurgitates a bunch of standard by rote advice.

It can't really debate and discuss or suggest anything other than the generic.

Take this:

Ending (Suggestions for Improvement):**
  - The ending, while powerful, might leave the audience wanting more resolution or reflection. Adding a scene that showcases the aftermath of the events, perhaps through the lens of an external character (a neighbor or a family member), could provide closure while opening the door to broader thematic exploration.


Blah, blah, blah.
I can't say specifically without re-reading your script what I'd suggest, but what I (as a human) could potentially do is give you a tangible idea/plot point for that family member via dialogue or action.
If you asked it for examples and it actually gave some I might be impressed... Maybe.

Like if it was able to come up with a head in a box twist.  

Considering a more explicit tie-back to the story's central themes...
Uh-huh, okay. General, again. And no example.
When we give feedback we can say: 'hey, how about this character does this, or says this'.

It's all general and flattering and just a big ol'pat on the back if you ask me.

Be funny if it came back with: Oh dear, this is a big mess, characters are thin, dialogue is on the nose, plot is a big reach. Go back to the drawing board.  


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LC
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 5:45pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Stoneyscripts
I can send you a PDF if you like,

Thanks, John.
It'd be interesting to compare them.



Revision History (1 edits)
LC  -  February 1st, 2024, 5:56pm
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Stoneyscripts
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 5:53pm Report to Moderator
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Ok. Done.


My Screenplays

Two Moons
The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin
Bugger Bugger
The Implosion Resistance
The Pearl Earring (Series)
And many many more...
[/b]
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LC
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 6:27pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Stoneyscripts
Ok. Done.

Respectfully, I hope you're not paying for a bunch of compliments and things you probably already know.


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Stoneyscripts
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Quoted from LC

Respectfully, I hope you're not paying for a bunch of compliments and things you probably already know.


No it never cost me a penny. I was given this free of charge and deliberately chose a script that needed an overview.


My Screenplays

Two Moons
The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin
Bugger Bugger
The Implosion Resistance
The Pearl Earring (Series)
And many many more...
[/b]
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Stoneyscripts
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 6:56pm Report to Moderator
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Also you will notice there was no compliments as such. Just advice about what the script needs to be improved.


My Screenplays

Two Moons
The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin
Bugger Bugger
The Implosion Resistance
The Pearl Earring (Series)
And many many more...
[/b]
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LC
Posted: February 1st, 2024, 7:26pm Report to Moderator
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You're right. Negligible gushing.
I say negligible because you achieved a high score.

I'm not trying to be argumentative here, I just see nothing that you could have got from a Screenwriter's /Storytelling 101 handbook.

If you regard it as valuable that's great.
I just favour the human element which will provide more nitty-gritty specific to your story. Jmho.


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Stoneyscripts
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Quoted from LC
You're right. Negligible gushing.
I say negligible because you achieved a high score.

I'm not trying to be argumentative here, I just see nothing that you could have got from a Screenwriter's /Storytelling 101 handbook.

If you regard it as valuable that's great.
I just favour the human element which will provide more nitty-gritty specific to your story. Jmho.


Valuable in a sense where, if used along with feedback/ comments etc it’s a handy tool and revolutionary. I’m not a advocate of using AI in screenplay but to be honest if used as an accompaniment it is invaluable. It’s is the way to go if you want to perfect your craft. Just saying.


My Screenplays

Two Moons
The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin
Bugger Bugger
The Implosion Resistance
The Pearl Earring (Series)
And many many more...
[/b]
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: February 2nd, 2024, 5:29pm Report to Moderator
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Agree, Libby, the feedback was pretty generic, not as useful as what I get from here during an OWC!


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Stoneyscripts
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Quoted from AnthonyCawood
Agree, Libby, the feedback was pretty generic, not as useful as what I get from here during an OWC!



I agree with Libby too. But to compare AL Coverage with comments made here is pretty much ridiculous, generic or otherwise. Just saying


My Screenplays

Two Moons
The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin
Bugger Bugger
The Implosion Resistance
The Pearl Earring (Series)
And many many more...
[/b]
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AlsoBen
Posted: February 2nd, 2024, 7:42pm Report to Moderator
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I'm never paying for coverage, or contest feedback, because you know this is what the interns and unpaid readers will be doing to get through their workload, even if they do skim the script themselves.


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