All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
If only we could all live so out there. The world would be a better place.
RV
From W.B. Yeats:
Before the World Was Made
If I make the lashes dark And the eyes more bright And the lips more scarlet Or ask if all be right From mirror after mirror No vanity's displayed I'm looking for the face I had Before the world was made What if I look upon a man As though on my beloved And my blood be cold the while And my heart unmoved? Why should he think me cruel Or that he is betrayed? I'd have him love the thing that was Before the world was made.
W.B. Yeats:
Before the World Was Made
If my heart is not moved by the rising and setting of the sun, and to know that a still more glorious dawn awaits, then I am not truly alive.
Despite being sorely tempted by some of Sandra’s comments on the rather good script “Through The Fur Trap, Simply” I was persuaded by this one, which made me laugh for quite some time….
Quoted from NJ ’The Shadow’ Devil
Having read this, I feel like I know Phil, Sandra, Pia, Tommy, Jordan, et. al on the most intimate of levels.
I want to thank Anonymous for writing a story with so much balls... and other things. Could not stop laughing all day.
Rendevous, thanks for the mention. Good to know I made you laugh as comedy is not my forte. Cheers, mate!
And Sandra, your observations/comments raise the bar for us all. I raise my glass to you as well!
Bevakasha, sil vous plait, let me respond with a sincere thank you to all of the people who work to build Simplyscripts into a truly living creation.
The Simplanians, execute their free will on a daily basis. Their mission is in the "plan" inside of the word and namesake, Simplanion. Of course, Sim, is a computer simulation. And an ion is a particle with a positive or negative charge, suitable for working with.
Sometimes Simplanions are Simplonion and sometimes, Simplinion and even sometimes, Simploution. When not in the plan, they're either on it, or in it and yes, sometimes, they're "out of it", but they're always there, playing the game.
Can I have some of what you're on. Please.... Oh go on. I too want to be a true space cadet.
Please! Take me away with you and the Faeries, the Leprechauns, the Pickensrooters, Kootenstoopits and Darklings.... Please!
Oh and by the way, that's the Quote Of The Week, never mind The Day. Bless you SE.
RV
Blessed be to you, RV. Is it any wonder when you put RV and SE together and switch them around, you get SERV? I wonder what would happen if we added an "US" to the end of that.
Blessed be to you, RV. Is it any wonder when you put RV and SE together and switch them around, you get SERV? I wonder what would happen if we added an "US" to the end of that.
Oh joy!!! And sadnes, servus, when we part.
Sandra
Ah yes. Indeed you do. You can also get 'revs'. And if you add 'ice' you can get 'service'. Now, stop it!
Quoted from "Tombstone"
You know what my favourite two words in the English language are?
No, what?
Room service.
Personally mine are 'baby oil'. I should get out more...
Today's quote of the day is...
Quoted from Cloroxmartini
...What's it about? It's an action story.
Yeah, but what is it about?
I stumbled every which way to Sunday because I could not, in a very few words, explain what my story was was about...
Quoted from Stevie 'Pass me that Silver Maxwell's doodah will ya?' about RV's names Anyhow VCR or what ever your F**king name is this week, i'm off to bed!
The "doodah" is "the hammer", of the smash and build variety.
Now what can we gather of the VCR? Vega!!! Copy back. Roger us on a River City.
Screenwriter's Translation:
Call out for help with illumination. Please respond. Give us the feed on the highlights to sell this baby River City style: What you need to cure your problems is this!
In other words again: Why the hell would anyone want to see it? River City me.
Of course it all makes much more sense if you've seen Contact and The Music Man.
And even MORE sense if you follow some of these threads.
Quoted from Sandra 'Why don't you just put everything I say in here RV' Elstree
I find that happens a lot. Must be the moon melons or something.
Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Whatever happened to worthwhile CGI movies? Seriously. Where are they? I checked under the carpet, in the closet, outside behind a tree. They are gone.
Maybe I'll go put them on a milk carton.
Quoted from mcornetto
The funniest thing for me was that I had worried I was off on my Phil character but after his response to this thread, I'm sure I wasn't.
But the winner is..... Heretic's answer to Mr. Blonde's earlier question.
Mr. Blonde made me laugh when he said:
Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Whatever happened to worthwhile CGI movies? Seriously. Where are they? I checked under the carpet, in the closet, outside behind a tree. They are gone.
Maybe I'll go put them on a milk carton.
That's how I feel about Variety specials like Sonny and Cher and "filmed in front of a live audience" like All In The Family.
Where'd they go? They are gone. 'tsokay we got
HELL'S KITCHEN!!! And I love Ramsay!!!
Heretic writes in response to Mr. Blonde's brilliant discovery:
Quoted from Ophelia Aerial birds eye view? As opposed to a non aerial birds eye view? and vile should be vial. Gotta work on this hooked on phonics stuff.
You've gotta love Ophelia!!! And...
Quoted from mcornetto
Quoted from mcornetto The funniest thing for me was that I had worried I was off on my Phil character but after his response to this thread, I'm sure I wasn't.
How could Phil not love his advantageous role and to have the opportunity of being the savior in Through The Fur Trap, Simply?
Hmm, takes all sorts Sandra. And the less mentions of Gordon 'what a fecking liar. If that's his face.... my God, what the hell must his scrotum be like?' Ramsey there is round here the better methinks.
Now then, to business...
Today's contenders are....
Her. Again. The rest of ya need to pick up the pace. Romeo did, er, I mean Clorox.
Quoted from Space Studio No. 12
That has to be a Blonde synchronicity. Gawd I'm evil. Sandra
Her. Yet a-bleedin'-gain.
Quoted from Space Cadet Elstree
..Which means: ...Either you or I by some strange coincidence or not
McCornetto having 'moment'. Writing that Fur Trap thingy musta had an effect on him
Quoted from McCornetto
...Fay Wray? That delicate satin draped frame As it clung to her thigh, how I started to cry 'Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same Give yourself over to absolute pleasure Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh Erotic nightmares beyond any measure And sensual daydreams to treasure forever Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho! Don't dream it, be it Don't dream it, be it....
A winner will be chosen once I've had me tea. You can wait. Or choose. Whatever you fancy.
Er... NJDevil nominated this. Not me. I just do what I'm told, as those that know me well will attest to.Well, I do when it suits me.
Ahem.
Quoted from RV
Bit strong that. Steady! I do go out. When I run out of fags and booze and burgers. Oh, yes RE, impress them with your breeding and social skills, why don't ya? And stop talking to yourself, you dicky nutter.
That delicate satin draped frame As it clung to her thigh, how I started to cry 'Cause I wanted to be dressed just the same Give yourself over to absolute pleasure Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh Erotic nightmares beyond any measure And sensual daydreams to treasure forever Can't you just see it. Whoa ho ho! Don't dream it, be it Don't dream it, be it....
Michael Cornetto
Yes, this is most definitely hookied on phonics which is always the road to greater evils. Blast those advertisers of education. If it weren't for them, children wouldn't read and grow up to search out and buy Insatiable online.
Hey, we're online. Is there a connection? Oh dear. But I do love the mock seriousness or whatever it is in Fire in the Disco.
Don't you wanna know how we keep starting fires? It's my desire.
Truth has a way of being told and time has a way of telling it.
I owe about fifty reads or something silly but I will have a look at yours once I'm more straight. Er, with reads that is.
RV
Top quote of the day! And I don't think I'll ever straighten myself out. I'm as curvy as the first initial in my name. Well, perhaps with a blessing and a B+ on life's test, I might manage to sort out a few things. Like why I'm so confusing. No I think I know. It's that blasted planet Mercury that I'm under.
Lord have mercy on me Mercus.
Hey wait! I wikied: Mercutio is apt to make long, drawn out speeches (the most famous of which is the Queen Mab speech), and is generally thought to be reckless, a jokester, and a free spirit.
Well ain't that the truth. Hey maybe I really will get a B+ for playing my part so well.
I've always said that if you want to be a better chess player, then play against someone better who will kick your fanny until you improve. It's the only way to truly learn.
This will probably only be amusing to readers in the UK, but hey- it made me laugh.
Kick my fanny? Christ, you'd have to go a long way to find that.
Ah, in the US that means 'arse' I think. In UK though it means..., erm, a girl's front bottom (c) Dame Edna Everage. Anyways. That's plenty good enough for QOTD methink.
Quoted from Sandra 'I'm sorry Dave, I cannot do that' Studio
Well, my sex panties are in high demand, but I don't worry too much. I have lots to go around.
Quoted from Sandra 'Final Frontier' Elstree
No way. Only the sex panties.
And as far as exposition, I try and show and not tell. I think I really screwed up big time.
Quoted from McCone
I'm not sure that showing your sex panties is all that approprite in the Voice Over - Questions, Comments, Suggestions, Contributions section of Simply Scripts. I think the exposition of your shorts would be more appropriately located in the getting to know you section.
Well done P! Ps - its goat NIPS!! But balls sound ok too..
Quoted from Me
I don't know who P is, but I know it's not me...
I believe balls is what he used to use long time ago. I could of course be wrong.
We were all balls once. Or at least in them.
Quoted from Reapercreeper
in response to..."As a writer you don't get the spot light. You don't get the talk show appearance to talk about your work. They do. The above."
Hell, it's a GOOD thing. No paparazzis, no rabid fans chasing you...
Hell, a movie may flop horribly and its writer would already be paid and relaxing on a cruise by that time.
That's something worth bearing in mind if you get paid on delivery and they refuse you points. Something worth working for, and for that, I declare RC today's winner.
Now, last post as I am definitely browning, or maybe cooked. I was pickled ages ago.
Anyways. Now then. Er, I spend a lot of time smiling round here. But, rare is it I laugh very loud. However, Balt, bless his stone heart, always can crack some corkers. And it is almost dawn.
Quoted from Baltis
Re: Best of 2000sEmployee of the Month (matt Dillon not mr. unfunny anal bead Dane Cook's movie)
Comedy gold. Bless you Balt. And long may you reign.
Now, last post as I am definitely browning, or maybe cooked. I was pickled ages ago.
Anyways. Now then. Er, I spend a lot of time smiling round here. But, rare is it I laugh very loud. However, Balt, bless his stone heart, always can crack some corkers. And it is almost dawn.
Comedy gold. Bless you Balt. And long may you reign.
Right. Bedtime.
RV
Blessed be Balt with his little one!!!! And blessed be he who's
Aww... has he only got a little one? Now that would explain a lot.
Oh, you mean his child? Ah. Still.
RV
LOL - Yet another Quote of the Day! Poor Balt, must put up with such abuse. Let it be known, that size is not what matters, but style and technique and creativity.
Balt, I'm just wondering who you're trying to convince here. Basically, if people found value in whatever she did, why not allow them their moments. Your reactions would be akin to me saying:
"I will really miss my Uncle Bill. He was the best actor I ever knew and touched my life."
and then you coming back with:
"I looked up your 'Uncle Bill' and his career blew goat nuts. Four f***ing bit parts in community theatre and you want to honor him. Next thing you know you'll be praising your mom for her role in Whootenanny 4, which also sucked and so did she. Get off your high horse and realize your Uncle Bill porked chickens for a living and I don't."
I was toying with the idea of quoting George's pearl's of wisdom above myself at the time. Glad you got it up here before I could. It is rather good isn't it?
Anyone seen Balt? Do you have to put his pic on one of milk cartons? And where's that 7WC script was done ages ago? Alas. Anyway, I digress as usual.
Now then.
Not sure I agree with the following, although I think I know what she means....
Quoted from Sandra a.k.a This is Ground Control to Major Elstree
A mindfuck is the best possible f*** you can experience.
I was toying with the idea of quoting George's pearl's of wisdom above myself at the time. Glad you got it up here before I could. It is rather good isn't it?
Anyone seen Balt? Do you have to put his pic on one of milk cartons? And where's that 7WC script was done ages ago? Alas. Anyway, I digress as usual.
Now then.
Not sure I agree with the following, although I think I know what she means... .
Whiskey & Cigarettes. You can live with very happily them. And it just ain't bothering with, if you have to live to without. Although that time draws a lot quicker if you do indulge. Diddums. I'm going to miss all the excitement with nappies and Alzheimer's at the end. Woe is me!
This is the funniest thing I've read in ages. It was just posted on the 'When did you start writing' thread...
Quoted from Colkurtz8
During my incubatory months, I storyboarded a one act play on the inner lining of my mothers womb using nothing but the sharpened cuticle of my pinky. Every time the wretched woman stretched I lost an evening's work. Of course I didn't posses the mental faculties back then to remember what I to wrote (vague memories of INT. VESSEL - NIGHT occasionally breach my thoughts nowadays akin to an acid flashback, however, the actual plot continually escapes me) so I had to start from scratch over and over again until I was abruptly pulled out by the legs on day 273.
Agreed. About time some good old fashioned smut arrived. Punk is almost dead, but the spirit of Carry on is alive and well.
Decent Internet signals are more rare round here than teethy hens. I'm stood on a fecking hill, in snow, freezing, holding this phone in the air. So please pardon me for being brief. Lotta catching up to do and reads to return so bear with me. I shall be quiet for a little while but I'll be reading and around. Hope all is good for everyone here. Keep it cooking, kids.
Agreed. About time some good old fashioned smut arrived. Punk is almost dead, but the spirit of Carry on is alive and well.
Decent Internet signals are more rare round here than teethy hens. I'm stood on a fecking hill, in snow, freezing, holding this phone in the air. So please pardon me for being brief. Lotta catching up to do and reads to return so bear with me. I shall be quiet for a little while but I'll be reading and around. Hope all is good for everyone here. Keep it cooking, kids.
Rv
Welcom back, mate - and great thread.
Balt is most definitely the King of Quotes!
He needs to get his "Jew" arse back to the boards.
Urban Dictionary has some great definitions, which include-
The act of simultaneously sniffing and licking an object. 'Steve enjoyed a good snaffle in the nether regions'
Deriving from the posh part of Liverpool, Bootle. Meaning women, birds, flange, flannel, vaj.-Can be abbreviated to "snaff" "Mum, Dan went to Faller's in the summer and got serious Snaffle"
Urban Dictionary has some great definitions, which include-
The act of simultaneously sniffing and licking an object. 'Steve enjoyed a good snaffle in the nether regions'
Deriving from the posh part of Liverpool, Bootle. Meaning women, birds, flange, flannel, vaj.-Can be abbreviated to "snaff" "Mum, Dan went to Faller's in the summer and got serious Snaffle"
I always enjoy The Urban! LOL! My previous post was just me snaffling the chance to get people googling for "Foster's Dictionary" and Reginald Hedswick, World's Fair 1962...
Well. I've been awaiting my Eircom phone line. As with many companies here, I find shoddy and slackness the order of the day. Vodaphone seem to be fairly good so I'll try them. Then I might actually get to type with proper keyboard, and not a Fecking phone. Now then, what's the craic with Craig being 'through'? A damn shame. His scripts have a lotta potential, as has he. And that lad knew how to write an amusing line. I imagine he still does. Now now then, i'd agree with sniper on the balt quote. VG
The quote came from my son today and he didn't remember who it was from.
He was in feeling rather pissed at the way things are dished up for supper in his courses right now. He's in the airforce and in the midst of preparing for exams. It's that old idea, where it's all shoved into the brain only to be forgotten later. You know, a lot of bullshit, whereby, the correct answers lie in the interpretation. Of course, we know that here with all of our "We See" threads etc...
With regard to school in general though, the lesson is: And that goes for aspiring screenwriters as well... The lesson is to learn, but it's not what you learn that is so important. It's how you learn and what it means to you.
The information-- it's just pluses and minuses in the end, but your feelings in the whole dealarama, that's where the wisdom is.
I spoke to a fella at Vodaphone a while ago who said Ireland is a third world country when it comes to broadband. I now suspect he was not exaggerating.
Jehusus, I've forgotten how two spuhel.
Anyways. Shiny new modem now cooking away so, to the point. Make a change, wouldn't it?
QOTD today comes from Helio...
Hang on, I've forgotten how do all that code malarky. Woah, why I am typing this? Er, must be a lickle excited or something. A lot of pent up lack of internet frustration boiling off here.
I have an idiot book too. And an idiot car. And a lovely idiot dog. Although I prefer the term 'eejit'.
Definitely the top Quote of the Day so far.
Mind you, the Cliche Thread smacks with some real good ones too.
Look, you just don't know what happens around here unless you follow the threads... (insert equivocation here) And no one can fill the boots of politicians who are wonkers.
... Every writer has a style. The thing is, most of the people who come to this site direct other users on how to write a screenplay when they, themselves, don't know how to properly write one.
Now. Should be Mr. Z's as that was good but this made me quiver with laughter as I didn't properly understand it and I could just imagine Woody Allen saying it in 1979. And it's about about time she had a QOTD. Oh Christ, this is getting like the fecking Oscars. Where's my brown envelope? What? Is that it? THis is Frankly disa..