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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2019 -††One Week Challenge  ›  Florida Man - OWC
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  Author    Florida Man - OWC  (currently 1140 views)
StevenClark
Posted: February 20th, 2019, 7:44am Report to Moderator
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Marcela,

Thanks for the kind words, and to all who semi-enjoyed this. I never knew that axe-murderers had no place in rom coms! Go figure. It was fun anyway.

My main gripe about the comments came from Jeff, who complained on - I think it was page 5, that there were typos and stuff. If heíd noticed, my protagonist was slurring his speech, causing him to mispronounce some words. So yes, they were spelled wrong but only to illustrate how he was saying them. Otherwise, Iím pretty sure this was typo free.

But a great challenge anyways. Thanks Don and Pia! And congrats to all who entered.

Steve


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: February 20th, 2019, 9:05pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from StevenClark
Marcela,

I never knew that axe-murderers had no place in rom coms! Go figure. It was fun anyway.

Steve


Hi Steve,

I really enjoyed your script until the end and truthfully, it would have been in my top three.

It was only the killing at the end that came out of nowhere and took it out of the running.

I did the same with a short story years ago. Well, kind of the same.

I had an opening that didn't fit. I actually sensed it, but not enough so.

If I would have listened to my inner guidance, I would have trashed it
and wound up winning.

Nevertheless, I learned from that. The judges liked it enough to respond to
me with an individualized letter; so that was a good consolation prize.

Still, I remembered your script as the Tuna Script and whenever one
finds something memorable, I think that the writer is definitely on
the right track!!!

Thanks for giving some laughs in this!!!  

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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StevenClark
Posted: February 20th, 2019, 9:26pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Sandra Elstree.


Hi Steve,

I really enjoyed your script until the end and truthfully, it would have been in my top three.

It was only the killing at the end that came out of nowhere and took it out of the running.

I did the same with a short story years ago. Well, kind of the same.

I had an opening that didn't fit. I actually sensed it, but not enough so.

If I would have listened to my inner guidance, I would have trashed it
and wound up winning.

Nevertheless, I learned from that. The judges liked it enough to respond to
me with an individualized letter; so that was a good consolation prize.

Still, I remembered your script as the Tuna Script and whenever one
finds something memorable, I think that the writer is definitely on
the right track!!!

Thanks for giving some laughs in this!!!  

Sandra

Iím happy you found it memorable, Sandra. Fact is, that ending did not come out of nowhere. I knew exactly where it was going the minute I started writing. When comedy is concerned I always aim for over the top and I guess this was no different.

Couple that with the fact Iím currently on vacation at Disney World and you can see where my motivation came from!!


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Dreamscale
Posted: February 20th, 2019, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Steven, I reread your script.  Yes, it was the dialogue, but I still can't say I liked it, or the lead in line that he's slurring his words or whatever.

You're correct, bro.  It was a pretty damn clean script and I give you credit for that.

Personally, I didn't like where it went or even how it got there. but I apologize for my comments about the writing.  I guess at first read, I didn't quite understand.

For me, the tuna stuff didn't work, nor did the texts she read, as if she read literally 1 more, she would have understood.

Anyways, it was memorable and that's always a good thang!  


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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StevenClark
Posted: February 21st, 2019, 5:25pm Report to Moderator
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Exactly, Jeff. Or not exactly. Memorable is good. Your script was memorable! But with my script, well, the people have spoken and not in a good way. I realize that and Iím not defending my story. Itís not that good. I know that. And thatís cool. I dunno what Iím saying really. Last few months have been really strange for me.


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LC
Posted: February 21st, 2019, 5:35pm Report to Moderator
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Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

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You'll be fine, Steven Clark, your talent is intact.


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irish eyes
Posted: February 22nd, 2019, 10:13pm Report to Moderator
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There`s too much blood in my alcohol

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Quoted from Clark Kent
But with my script, well, the people have spoken and not in a good way. I realize that and Iím not defending my story. Itís not that good. I know that. And thatís cool. I dunno what Iím saying really. Last few months have been really strange for me.


Time for another intervention


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