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I knew it was a matter of time before we get PETA involved in some of these stories and the intentions of this story were good but it just didn't fully do it for me in the end.
I knew it was a matter of time before we get PETA involved in some of these stories and the intentions of this story were good but it just didn't fully do it for me in the end.
Pretty clean writing though and a nice effort.
Disagree with the clean writing completely. I don't want to give the writer a lie.
My definition of clean writing refers to grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, etc. In that sense, the script was easy to read. Maybe I should start using "technically clean writing"?
Though the dramatic music threw me off too. I was thinking, like, superhero music when I read that.
My definition of clean writing refers to grammar, sentence structure, punctuation, etc. In that sense, the script was easy to read. Maybe I should start using "technically clean writing"?
Though the dramatic music threw me off too. I was thinking, like, superhero music when I read that.
I understand. I'm still not clear enough either. That's why we're here.
couple technical points: dialog on page 2 hangs; no page numbers.
the story is simple. The twist is a bit predictable for me.
I liked the fact that there's no vegan versus carnivore banter.
Overall, I enjoyed it. Could be deeper, I think but still a fun read. I appreciate the comedic elements, some dialog is pretty funny, like the last line.
A comedy and a very dry script. There doesn't appear to have been much thought towards the location, and it's only virtue of "Jeeves" that we get a sense this is a wealthy household. Too much focus on the dialogue and not enough on building the setting, or contextualising the script.
To be fair, I think you wrote this quick, and wanted to chuck out a joke which had come to you.
This one didn't do anything for me. But, at least you tried. I'm sorry, I really don't have anything else to say about it.
I had the same though as I read it. Stereotyped characters. Only one question: how a wife could hide something to her husband after all these years in any matter?
I see this is by the same author who wrote Farm Girl. Wasn't really enough of a story there to comment on and this is more of the same really. It's not that it was bad, there just really wasn't much to it. Ironically for a script that revolves around meat, there was actually very little meat to this story.
It's like you are providing us with this set up to make us think one thing and then surprise us with a twist at the end. Which ordinarily, would be fine. But since we know what the theme is we know what is coming, so the whole build up feels laboured and forced as the ending is inevitably a let down.
Congrats on completing multiple entries for the challenge though.
Pages: 1, 
Author
OWC - Living the Lie
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