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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    May 2010 One Week Challenge  ›  OWC - Wolves at the Door
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  Author    OWC - Wolves at the Door  (currently 3210 views)
Blakkwolfe
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 8:53pm Report to Moderator
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Huh? I don't get this at all. A group of wolves, inexplicably, show up at a pub to eat meat pies, but wait, some are vegetarians and have salads and veggies in their mouths? Huh?

Moving on...


Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently - Dove Chocolate Wrapper
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 9:16pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Who are the Vegans, who are the Carnivores, and who are the wolves?

And why is Christopher Lee doing meaningless V.O.'s?


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Coding Herman
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
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I'm still thinking this is a serious entry, although a pretty bad one.


FEATURE:

Memwipe
- Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller (114 pages) - In a world where memories can be erased by request, a Memory Erasing Specialist desperately searches for the culprit when his wife becomes a target for erasure -- with his former colleagues hot on his trail.
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Trojan
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 12:33am Report to Moderator
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This can't be a serious entry, it is so bad it's good. I think this was by a writer who knows what they are doing and actually did this for a laugh. I mean the references to Richard Grieco, the guy being nearly 25 and a half, the dialogue from the wolf, Christopher Lee?! Haha an amateur writer could not come up with this sort of stuff, it is comedy gold.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 12:54am Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Trojan
It seems that some people don't get that this is a joke. Obviously all of the mistakes in this script are done on purpose. (No, I didn't write this)

I actually found it funny, and enjoyed the read.

Cheers,
Tim.


Some of us wasted our time on this joke, in seriousness. You can all have a good laugh on me with this one. I never saw it here.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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TheRichcraft
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 1:19pm Report to Moderator
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Usually I try to see plot potentials in these scripts.  This one left me at a loss.  Did not get it at all.
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 21st, 2010, 5:19pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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OK everyone, I'm going to come clean here.  This one's mine.

Sorry to mess around, but I just couldn't help myself.  This is definitely a pisstake, and a great example of exactly how not to write a script.  I tried to break every rule in the book and then some.

The big blocks of text and dialogue, the crazy descriptions, the goofy asides, the zany, make no sense plot, the over the top and meaningless V.O. by Christopher Lee, and of course the dialogue, capped by including "etc., etc.".

Hope some of you at least got a laugh...I know I sure did.  Also hope some of you weren't sure whether or not it was a serious effort (sorry Coding and Sandra!).

I have to say that I've been literally laughing my as off ever since I started writing this.  I had a dinner party last weekend and we were doing a little partying, if you know what I mean...I printed out this script, and then cut slices, holes, and the like in every page, and let my guests have a read.  Their first reaction was, "Why the Hell is it all cut up?".  I told them that I wanted it to look as bad as possible, just to get them in the proper state of mind.  They were giggling wildly the rest of the night, and it turned out to be quite hilarious for all of us.

My apologies again.  I hope no one holds it against me.  It was my first pisstake I ever wrote. You won't be seeing anymore of these from me in the future.

Thanks for all the reads and comments.  Some of them were very funny.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Coding Herman
Posted: May 21st, 2010, 5:28pm Report to Moderator
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Way to go, Jeff. Don't tell me you wrote No Meat as well.


FEATURE:

Memwipe
- Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller (114 pages) - In a world where memories can be erased by request, a Memory Erasing Specialist desperately searches for the culprit when his wife becomes a target for erasure -- with his former colleagues hot on his trail.
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jwent6688
Posted: May 21st, 2010, 7:57pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Coding Herman
Way to go, Jeff. Don't tell me you wrote No Meat as well.



Oof.

Okay, had to finish the Jeff Bush triage. Good work cranking three out in a week.

Anywho, my only gripe here is the wolf's dialogue is quite American. Though I guess your attempt at British was a failure according to Andrew. I myself, being another yank of course, bought it. Part of the pisstake? Plan on saying that word until Stevie can no longer stomach it.

Couldn't think of a rule you didn't break. Would love to see your review on this if something like it ever came down the portal. Still laughed though, gotta admit it.

The wolf tossing a  tomato into the bouncers mouth whilst still holding a carrot and head of lettuce? That would be a priceless scene.

James






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Dreamscale
Posted: May 25th, 2010, 8:56pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Thanks, Cleveland. Yeah, my review of this prior to this OWC would be quite crushing...but after all the pissers, I think you can tell that I was a bit leery of calling entries serious or pissers..hard to tell sometimes.

Glad you liked the tomato flying into the bounce's mouth.  I was laughing very hard about this.

Thanks again to all who read and commented.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: May 26th, 2010, 12:00am Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Dreamscale
Thanks, Cleveland. Yeah, my review of this prior to this OWC would be quite crushing...but after all the pissers, I think you can tell that I was a bit leery of calling entries serious or pissers..hard to tell sometimes.

Glad you liked the tomato flying into the bounce's mouth.  I was laughing very hard about this.

Thanks again to all who read and commented.


Thank you Jeff, for all your hard and dedicated work.

I love you, but there's a problem:

You won't admit it, but you had a child out of wedlock. You know his name.

We need to make peace and you need to acknowledge his presence.

Luvya,

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 26th, 2010, 1:05am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Huh?  Sandra...please...let me in on whatever it is you're talking about.  DO TELL!!!!


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: May 26th, 2010, 1:10am Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Dreamscale
Huh?  Sandra...please...let me in on whatever it is you're talking about.  DO TELL!!!!


I'm afraid I've already been too bold. I apologize, but Alex might ring a bell.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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rendevous
Posted: May 26th, 2010, 10:26am Report to Moderator
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Hmmm,

I sense a bold poet strolling the boards. I like poets. They're fun.

I think this script has a good title. Caught my Beady Eye.

There were also some things in it which I quite enjoyed.

Once I saw past all the definitely deliberate errors and the fundamental mistakes I think there was something there worth looking at for a little while.

R x

EDIT after author's post: Youre Welcome.

Alex Van Halen. And Eddie. Ah, memories. I'm still Hot For Teacher. I must youtube Eruption shortly. Filled many a rock club floor in its day, that one.

Diamond "It's the Drugs, Doug" Dave Lee Roth. Watched him at Donnington one year. What a geezer. And a star. And he was in the Sopranos. Er, I should finish my digging. Sorry.


Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

Right Back

The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

Other scripts here

Revision History (1 edits)
rendevous  -  May 26th, 2010, 12:41pm
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 26th, 2010, 10:44am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Sandra, I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about.

Alex?  Alex Van Halen?

Huh?  C'mon, let me in on the gig.

Thanks for the read, Ren.  Yes, you are actually correct.  There are some things going on here that, if looked at the right way, actually do make some sense and have a much bigger meaning.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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