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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    May 2010 One Week Challenge  ›  OWC - Of Cannibals and Cabins
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  Author    OWC - Of Cannibals and Cabins  (currently 3362 views)
Don
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 5:33pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Of Cannibals and Cabins by Anonymous - Short, Drama - Ian and Dr. Smith try an convince a carnivore to come over to the light of the vegans. - doc, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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greg
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 5:53pm Report to Moderator
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Oh Hi

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I'm not even going to bother reading this shit.  Didn't take the challenge seriously and with 40 entries you decide to waste everyone's time.  Congratulations.  


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Coding Herman
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 5:59pm Report to Moderator
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OMG, this is downright offensive. I couldn't finish it, it's just that bad.


FEATURE:

Memwipe
- Sci-Fi, Action, Thriller (114 pages) - In a world where memories can be erased by request, a Memory Erasing Specialist desperately searches for the culprit when his wife becomes a target for erasure -- with his former colleagues hot on his trail.
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jwent6688
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 6:19pm Report to Moderator
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Wherever I go, there Jwent.

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Knew this was going to be an ode to the famous script. Done in word no less.

Obvious pisstake, Got a few chuckles. Went on a little long for me though...

James


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Dreamscale
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 8:18pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Hmmm...well...where to begin...

Obviously another pissatke, but IMO, a very funny one, as I am actually a huge fan of the Cabin, as well as Chris Halverson's Cannibal (which, IMO, is actually a much worse script than even the Cabin).

The writer actually did attempt to use characters from both, so kudos for that. Many, many very hysterical lines.  I'm actually still laughing at some of them.

For a pisser, this is quite funny.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Blakkwolfe
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 8:52pm Report to Moderator
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It is what it is, and that is  being mercifully short. I never had beets on a hoagie before. Perhaps I'm missing something, but I doubt it.


Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently - Dove Chocolate Wrapper
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Ryan1
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 9:21pm Report to Moderator
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This has got to be the worst one so far.  I guess a couple of the lines were sort of funny, but then again I had no idea what was happening in the "story."  Not familiar with the scripts that inspired this classic.  Maybe that's a good thing.
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Trojan
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 9:24pm Report to Moderator
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I don't know enough about the source materials to really comment properly on this one. I think this OWC though has set the record for the most number of joke entries.
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grademan
Posted: May 17th, 2010, 9:48pm Report to Moderator
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I couldn't finish this one. Sorry, Mr. Author, it wasn't for me.
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Angry Bear
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 12:16pm Report to Moderator
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"Can you write a script in a week? Take the One Week Challenge. Write a script (properly formatted) 15 pages or less (courier 12 point font)."

Sorry, but with 40 entries, Im going to skip this one.


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James McClung
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 2:56pm Report to Moderator
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*sigh* Not funny. The Cabin is officially old. Let it die please. I'll give this one point for not actually writing 100% in the Cabin style. Still, what a waste.

And with that, I stop reading until the names are posted. This was a complete farce of a OWC and it's extremely tiresome to read so many jokes that are actually close to fifteen pages.


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sniper
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 3:27pm Report to Moderator
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My UZI Weighs A Ton

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I totally agree, James. I've read quite a few entries now, commented on some of the serious ones but I won't give any of these joke scripts the benifit of a bump cos' they have completely destroyed and made a mockery of the OWC. It's fucking pointless now. Don should just post all of the scripts so we can get 'em out of the way.

A shame really cos' there are some good challenge related scripts posted. To bad they're gonna drown out in all this bullshit.

Oh, darn it, I just bumped this thread.


Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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Ledbetter
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 8:39pm Report to Moderator
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Does anyone not see the brilliance in this piece?

I see all of the mistakes, but the undercurrent, the tension, I actually thought this was one of the best reads yet.

I felt a "blair" feel to it with a touch of steel magnolias.

Sniper, look into the script and ask yourself, what if I were the camera man? Would I want pastrami?

You know everyone, this may be this posters first ever script. Just think about that. Will ya?

Shawn.....><
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stevie
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 8:15pm Report to Moderator
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I know nothing of the source material but this gave me a few laughs.

For some reason, the line when the guy electrocutes the other guy then throws water on him to wake him up, made me laugh out loud.

I think this was done on Word to throw out a red herring.


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TheRichcraft
Posted: May 20th, 2010, 1:33pm Report to Moderator
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Incomprehensible mess.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: May 21st, 2010, 12:13pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from stevie
I know nothing of the source material but this gave me a few laughs.

For some reason, the line when the guy electrocutes the other guy then throws water on him to wake him up, made me laugh out loud.

I think this was done on Word to throw out a red herring.


Me too. I definitely think the writer should keep working with comedy because:

DR. SMITH
Yes, I thought you were dead.  I need to make sure…

Dr. Smith pulls out doctor stuff and checks out Ian.

Dr. SMITH (CONT.)
By God, he is alive!  I should know, I’m a doctor.

Funny stuff in here.

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 21st, 2010, 1:17pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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"doctor stuff" - Love it!  Where'd he pull this "stuff" out from?

Also, wonder if "Dr. Smith" is from the old "Lost in Space" series.  That guy was hilarious!


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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George Willson
Posted: May 21st, 2010, 3:04pm Report to Moderator
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Doctor who? Yes, quite right.

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I will have to say that I was amused, primarily because of the notoriety of the Cabin, and the fact that I attempted to write a sequel to it recently that was nowhere near as bad as the original. This one toes the line at the original's badness. It's completely random.

That being said, if I were to take this one seriously, it would be considered a load of crap...because it is. I'm a writer. I should know. I only got a kick out of it because I picked up right from the beginning what you were doing.

You just have to know The Cabin to have any appreciate for this. Or anti-appreciation in this case.


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Dreamscale
Posted: May 21st, 2010, 4:29pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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What about Chris Halverson's Cannibal?  Nobody remembers that classic script?  The hermit cannibal Ejijah who flew through trees like a flying fox?  The cousin of Ian Pitt/ The harvesting of cocaine and smoking it in the fields?  The tits just hanging there?

I think it actually puts the Cabin to shame.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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nawazm11
Posted: February 2nd, 2012, 9:22pm Report to Moderator
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Sorry about bumping this up but this was bloody hilarious.

For a pisstake, this has to be the funniest one I've read. "WAZ UP, BITCHES?" Hahaha, just too funny.

My favourite line though, "Ian kills the dog with a cross bow.  The arrow goes into his mouth and out his anus". Oh god, I couldn't stop laughing after that.

Revision History (1 edits)
nawazm11  -  August 8th, 2012, 9:09pm
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 2nd, 2012, 9:40pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Thank you, MO...thank you very much!

It seems like this didn't go over too well, but I gotta admit that every so often I'll read this and it always puts me in a better mood.  Glad I can at least make myself laugh.

Glad you enjoyed it as well.  I'm gonna read it again now, as I'm a little down at the moment.

Thanks for the read and feedback.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Reef Dreamer
Posted: February 6th, 2012, 10:26am Report to Moderator
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where's my simply scripts thong?

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Hey Jeff,

Had to check out a piss take script from you - i wasn't around here at the time.

Never had you down for comedy but this is solid stuff, bearing in mind the target audience for this. Beyond us lot the jokes wouldn't always hit the spot.

It is also, surprising as it may seem, actually subtle in part. I don't have any notes to hand and i read it the other day, but nice touches such as ending dialogue with the meaningless ... ,though. Plus the interchange of line spacing in the the whole text and in the dialogue. Little touches throughout.

I quite like the camera man winking to the audience, may use that some day in another spoof script. Kind of reminded me of the Police Squad series when Frank walks around the wall of the film set, every time. i still laughed.

My one problem with this was it could have been very clever and funny but lost some of it as it was 100% full on. I appreciate that was your aim but it would be nice to see a cleaner version with more story - as though a real attempt which fails badly.

In the UK there was a comedian called Les Dawson, an old fashioned working man stand up comic. One of his trade marks was playing the piano badly. However, before you can play the piano badly you must be able to play it brilliantly. It was all about on or two wrong notes just at the right time, rather than every note being crashed into the piano.

I was going to say i hope i see another one of these but having thought about it....


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 6th, 2012, 11:02am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Hey Bill, thanks for the read and feedback.

The humor of this piece is in the source material - 2 scripts on SS that are so God awful, IMO, they're fucking brilliant.  The funny thing is that the authors had no idea how bad their writing was, and humor was the last thing they were going for.  Truly classic stuff, especially in Chris Halvorson's Cannibal.  Everyone should read that script when they need a laugh.

Lots of peeps hated this, as well as my other 2 giant pissers from this OWC, but as I've said before, they were very liberating to write, and they still give me more than a few chuckles when I resurrect them and give them a read.  I can easily see where some, if not the vast majority won't get them, or downright hate them.  Maybe one has to be in the right frame of mind?  Yes, that always helps.  

Thanks, man!


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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MarkItZero
Posted: February 16th, 2017, 6:09pm Report to Moderator
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Wow, people gave you a lot of hate for this all the way back in 2010. Even then, they wanted the legend to disappear. But it hasn't... cuz I just brought it back.

A+ Hoagie references.


That rug really tied the room together.
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Dreamscale
Posted: February 16th, 2017, 7:32pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from MarkItZero
Wow, people gave you a lot of hate for this all the way back in 2010. Even then, they wanted the legend to disappear. But it hasn't... cuz I just brought it back.

A+ Hoagie references.




HaHa!!  YES!!!  The classic lives!

Thanks for the bump, brother!!!

Yeah, peeps HATED it, but...you know what?  Literally every time I pull this up, I get in such a great mood.

There is 1 more I wrote, which is ...I think...a sequel to this one.



To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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