Bondage...of course. I still have a few riding crops around. Not to mention those boots. Now where the hell did I put those. It's been awhile.

Since TAKEN was mentioned earlier, it's pretty much a straight drama, almost, until the 28 minute mark when the daughter gets taken. In SPEED, the action starts right off the bat and never lets up. Different way to do things.

Quoted from Dreamscale More bondage!!!   Lee, screw rules, but be smart.  Orphans are a problem for you?  As in, you want to have them littering your script?  Why...seriously...why?

They're not really a problem as much as they are a hinderance.  I mean, when I'm writing something, I want to write it without worrying about how it looks.

Say, you have an action sentence, but it goes one word too long and takes up a whole line by itself.  Then you have to either go back and find another way to say it, or add another word that may break up the action but keep that orphan with a family.

It's a minor annoyance of mine if anything.  I don't want them littering my script, I just don't like having to restructure sentences if one word takes up a line.

Quoted from Leegion It's a restriction.  I see that a lot in the screenwriting world.  So many restrictions to hold people back from achieving anything. (< such as orphans) It's one of the things I despise about this craft.  Too many darn rules.  No room for any sort of freedom whatsoever, everything has to be a certain way or it's not right. That was a mini-rant, lol.

"Show don't tell" is the number one rule because no one is going to care about your main character if they don't connect. It's not like a format rule, it's a basic writing rule.

Like in the first "Lethal Weapon". Do you think the set up would have had as much impact if Mel Gibson just told Danny Glover the story about his wife? First ten pages...ACTION, EXPLOSION, GUNFIRE, then..."oh yeah, my wife died and I'm pretty bummed about it"...ACTION, CAR CHASE, BANG BANG, THE END.

Mel Gibson's set up was so freakin awesome because it showed us he was a truly flawed individual. We connected, therefore we wanted him to win...even in Lethal Weapon 2. By #3 I didn't care anymore, but that's another story about too many sequels.

Quoted from mmmarnie "Show don't tell" is the number one rule because no one is going to care about your main character if they don't connect. It's not like a format rule, it's a basic writing rule. Like in the first "Lethal Weapon". Do you think that opening scene would have had as much impact if Mel Gibson just told Danny Glover the story about his wife? First ten pages...ACTION, EXPLOSION, GUNFIRE, then..."oh yeah, my wife died and I'm pretty bummed about it"...ACTION, CAR CHASE, BANG BANG, THE END. That first scene was so freakin awesome because it set him up as a truly flawed individual. We connected, therefore we wanted him to win...even in Lethal Weapon 2. By #3 I didn't care anymore, but that's another story about too many sequels.

Never seen Lethal Weapon before, so I don't really know much about it.  

I've done what you said in the past though.  I've opened up with something dark and twisted, but people said it's too soon to give a damn... leaving me sitting here scratching my head thinking "so do something else?" and then I do something else and someone says the complete opposite, lol.

Ah... 'tis the world we live in, haha.

Quoted from Leegion I've done what you said in the past though.  I've opened up with something dark and twisted, but people said it's too soon to give a damn... leaving me sitting here scratching my head thinking "so do something else?" and then I do something else and someone says the complete opposite, lol. Ah... 'tis the world we live in, haha.

Do what you want to do, man!!!!  

There's always going to be people who don't like it.

The question you should ask, is do YOU like it and does it appeal to the "general" reader.

If so, sleep well...

Shawn.....><

I'm in the camp that believes in setting up a character. Take 'The Raid' for example. It may not be a thriller exactly, depending on your definition of thriller, as it is thrilling. But it's been labelled as one of the best action flicks of all time by some. The first 10-15 minutes of that aren't balls to the wall action.

SPOILER WARNING JUST IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE RAID

We get to see Rama praying a bit, practising his skills, kissing his pregnant wife, and we find out he's a rookie. It's all set up to make us root for him when the faeces hits the fan. And it works if you ask me. Throw in the fact you've got a bad guy who kills some guys with a hammer instead of putting more bullets in his gun, we know who these guys are and which one we want to see win.

END SPOILER

I've got no problem with the so called rules either. But in reality, I like something because it hooks me, not because Jonny Handsome saves a cat and all the beats get followed precisely. Rules can be used as a blueprint, but in no way have to be followed.

For this challenge, I've done a beat sheet purely because I think it will help me. I've never managed to finish a feature and I'm finding it works as a good guide. But now I wonder if some will be against it because I AM following those rules. It's a double edged sword if you ask me.

Meeting Martin Riggs -- Lethal Weapon 1 --

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpOqkz86_lg

Quoted from Grandma Bear Bondage...of course. I still have a few riding crops around. Not to mention those boots. Now where the hell did I put those. It's been awhile. Since TAKEN was mentioned earlier, it's pretty much a straight drama, almost, until the 28 minute mark when the daughter gets taken. In SPEED, the action starts right off the bat and never lets up. Different way to do things.

lol @ bondage... I think even World War Z had four minutes of bondage/family building  before it went full blast until the end. I don't mind a slower set up ...as long as the story builds and gets faster along the way. Sometimes that four minutes is what will make us root for the character...hope for the outcome etc.

Quoted from Leegion I must agree with Dustin.  The concept here is to deliver a fast-paced THRILLER that doesn't let up for a second.  That means you need to jump right into it, get to the inciting incident within the first page or two. This also means you can't waste time saying "hey folks, here's a happy family, get to know them for a few pages before something bad happens to them so you can care", not exactly the point of the challenge.   It's not a drama, lol.  It's a race-against-time thriller where the main protagonist has a limited time to do something.  In RAT thrillers, the point is to invoke a sense of uncertainty and suspense.

I think different thrillers have different pacing and different structures. As long as there's something - a scene, interesting characters, to hook your audience to make you read on. Yes, some movies grab you from the get go and never let up BURIED for example, though I'd argue even they have some slower paced down time scenes to contrast (not BURIED   ) and I think that's part of good story telling too.

Take for example: The 39 Steps, Arlington Road, Double Indemnity, Enemy of the State, True Crime, all are different and all are thrillers. Some are grab on for the ride from the outset and some begin slower. I seem to remember with Taken that there was probably at least 10 pages (10 mins) of character setup via the split family i.e., the daughter's birthday/divorce etc.  and it comes across as purely soap/drama to begin with.

I think the mistake some are making is in reading and judging too quickly the first 10 and deciding whether it fits the criteria of thriller per se. I'm also quite amazed at the assumptions people make of where a story line is going... but I expect that's good too cause I might pull the rug out and give you what you least expect.

What I am enjoying at the moment are the reviews that give me suggestions for what what they think can make for a better opening/first ten, not just what they don't like but what they do think is working. I'll be outing myself after a few more reviews cause it's hard and also cause I want interaction but anon is good to begin with.

Thanks for allowing me to rant. Main thing is I hope I can finish the darn thing in the allocated time.

What I'm basically looking for is logline and story. It's 10 pgs so we're not going to get much. The fact they finished it is congratulations enough in my book. lol.

Gabe

Quoted from LC I think different thrillers have different pacing and different structures. As long as there's something - a scene, interesting characters, to hook your audience to make you read on. Yes, some movies grab you from the get go and never let up BURIED for example, though I'd argue even they have some slower paced down time scenes to contrast (not BURIED   ) and I think that's part of good story telling too. Take for example: The 39 Steps, Arlington Road, Double Indemnity, Enemy of the State, True Crime, all are different and all are thrillers. Some are grab on for the ride from the outset and some begin slower. I seem to remember with Taken that there was probably at least 10 pages (10 mins) of character setup via the split family i.e., the daughter's birthday/divorce etc.  and it comes across as purely soap/drama to begin with. I think the mistake some are making is in reading and judging too quickly the first 10 and deciding whether it fits the criteria of thriller per se. I'm also quite amazed at the assumptions people make of where a story line is going... but I expect that's good too cause I might pull the rug out and give you what you least expect. What I am enjoying at the moment are the reviews that give me suggestions for what what they think can make for a better opening/first ten, not just what they don't like but what they do think is working. I'll be outing myself after a few more reviews cause it's hard and also cause I want interaction but anon is good to begin with. Thanks for allowing me to rant. Main thing is I hope I can finish the darn thing in the allocated time.

You're spot-on with that, LC.  Every thriller is unique in that it either starts with a balls to the wall incident or takes a while to build.  

I've finished mine, so I know where everything leads, and after reading some comments on my own, I've added a scene at the start (thanks to Marnie for that LW scene) that shows a boy in the snow, cold and alone. This is exceptionally ambiguous, lol.  

Taken, from what I recall, has:
Liam Neeson protecting Holly Valance, then he goes to a poker game, then he meets with his chicken-waddle daughter at her birthday, she goes to Paris, gets napped and then stuff hits the fan.  Or does he do the poker game first and then protect Valance?  Been a while since I watched it.  I know it takes about 15-20 mins.

The real challenge, if you go balls-to-the-wall, is keeping up the pace you set.  I've read a few, some are paced slower than others, some faster.  The pace however, is the key to delivering something memorable.

If you go slower, then that's fine, as long as it becomes a RAT it's all good.

-Lee

Quoted from Leegion The real challenge, if you go balls-to-the-wall, is keeping up the pace you set.  I've read a few, some are paced slower than others, some faster.  The pace however, is the key to delivering something memorable. If you go slower, then that's fine, as long as it becomes a RAT it's all good. -Lee

Absolutely agree - the RAT is crucial which means at some point, earlier being preferable, your audience is going to be on the edge of their seat.

Quoted from Leegion I've finished mine, so I know where everything leads, and after reading some comments on my own, I've added a scene at the start (thanks to Marnie for that LW scene) that shows a boy in the snow, cold and alone. This is exceptionally ambiguous, lol.

.

Yep, I also got a suggestion which I might go with which is why this early feedback is great.

Quoted from LC Absolutely agree - the RAT is crucial which means at some point, earlier being preferable, your audience is going to be on the edge of their seat. Yep, I also got a suggestion which I might go with which is why this early feedback is great.

Definitely.  I like thrillers that jump right into the "thrills" rather than building up to it.  Big fan of 90s thrillers such as Speed and Scream, the latter of which is more of a comedy horror, but still keeps you on the edge.

I've already made several edits to the opening 10 due to feedback.  Nothing too big, just a couple of scenes.  I, maybe like some others, wrote the opening 10 in a way that gives readers an idea of the concept.  It won't be the same at the end.

Quoted from Leegion I've added a scene at the start (thanks to Marnie for that LW scene) that shows a boy in the snow, cold and alone. This is exceptionally ambiguous, lol.  -Lee

Pardon my ignorance but what is LW? Light weight, low wattage, left wing???

Quoted from Leegion They're not really a problem as much as they are a hinderance.  I mean, when I'm writing something, I want to write it without worrying about how it looks. Say, you have an action sentence, but it goes one word too long and takes up a whole line by itself.  Then you have to either go back and find another way to say it, or add another word that may break up the action but keep that orphan with a family. It's a minor annoyance of mine if anything.  I don't want them littering my script, I just don't like having to restructure sentences if one word takes up a line.

So don't. There's nothing wrong with having a few of them. And you can always add another sentence. There's usually more than one simple answer to any question.

R