More confusing than entertaining. Why was David sliced open? Were his organs being harvested? And why was he cloned? What’s so special about this guy that the original wasn’t good enough? Was it something to do with his wealth?

What do rich people do before take-off?! Lines of coke? Group sex? I want to know!!

Okay, well... I won't bother with formatting, I'm sure others were all over that. New writer. perhaps? Kudos for entering!! Story is very outrageous but could be something bigger with time and a lot of thought. Congratulations for entering and meeting the criteria.

- not sure what rich folks do. I can live with this general description, but it's really not showcasing the writing.
- an obvious zest for life might be hard to capture in a glimpse
- wiping lips would hand sanitizer...why would people obey those instructions without question? And they were supposed to drink their drinks first
- lol, first time I've seen "100% healthy organs" in a description. Come on, man.
- why couldn't they just harvest the organs of the clones?

Obviously a brand new writer here. I have not looked at the comments, but I suspect you're getting hit hard. Well, it's probably one of your first scripts. Take your lumps, and if you're thick skinned and determined, keep at it.

Almost.

There is a thread of a story here - but it needs a bit more fleshing out. It would be better if there were any of the characters that we cared about.

This:

Quoted Text MARCOS Have a drink, my friends, then, please, use the sanitizers on your hands and lips, I have the finest sashimi for you, and you and you must be clean to appreciate it.

Seemed like a stretch logic wise -

Good job on entering

An interesting take on the criteria.  I wasn't entirely sure what the HS did.  I assume it knocked them out cold.  Or was it the food?  

It is what it is.  Very short.  If the parameters was no more than ten pages, I'm sure this one would be a lot better.

Nonstandard formatting on the title page. Not serious, but something to be avoided when sending out your scripts.

What do "rich folk do"? Not rich myself, though that's sure to change once I sell a script. Right? Right?!

"MARCOS, 35, full head of hair" ... I'm tempted to make some assumptions about the writer here.

If there are eight seats, they probably aren't even numbered, but if they are it'd be 1A to 4B.

The intercom isn't speaking, Captain Jack is. He'd need a mini-intro in the action just before he speaks, something like "The intercom comes to life with the almost-completely-sober voice of CAPTAIN JACK (40)." Then use CAPTAIN JACK (V.O.) for his lines.

"Revelry from the  riders." I struggle with this in my own writing. These characters have been collectively introduced as Travelers, and you're supposed to keep referring to them as Travelers so the reader knows no one new is here. Gets repetitive, but it (1) reassures that no intro was skipped and (2) is friendlier to non-native English speakers who otherwise have to work out if the difference in word choice really matters.

Another thing I've done... the series of shots is not formatted correctly. I get it, when the shots are so similar the full format can be a huge waste of vertical space. In this case I think one shot of him making a couple deliveries would suffice anyway.

When the jet taxis in, we would assume it's the Paradise Airlines plane, but mention some aircraft marking that makes it explicit. There's plenty of room left on that line.

I'm not sure we need all that detail from the screens, but it would be formatted as "INSERT: Computer screen" followed by description in action lines then end with "RETURN TO SCENE" or "BACK TO SCENE".

Okay, finished... you did not cram everything to just barely fit in five pages. Well done there, but I don't know what the plan is here. If these clones can pass for the original travelers, why not just harvest organs from the clones? I would have suggested that maybe they can clone the bodies but they're lifeless/unintelligent/whatever, and some kind of unfortunate accident has been scheduled for them.