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Hi, I thought there was a complete story in there, crime and punishment, while some might focus on the theft of the necklace as the crime, physical assault is also a crime. So one crime countered against another could be construed as justice. I like the imagery and the dialogue although some things did confuse me, I don't know what a 'nuggety' person looks like and I didn't know skateboards had 'grinding wheels'. Petty complaints but I enjoyed this script. Well done.
If at first you don't succeed........bribe someone.
I enjoyed this one. Not sure why people think crime wasn't in there enough. 3 crimes took place in 5 pages.
Anyway, I agree that the theme was lightly represented, as the taking of the money and the necklace weren't really about money... more about revenge/justice.
Still, this was fun.
PaulKWrites.com
60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature
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Wait...Malcom and Lola leave together???? If that's not a typo I'm very confused.
I liked this. The father/daughter relationship was very sweet. Theme...a little iffy, but the variables were used very well. I did care about these two, so good job there.
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Under the Buckeye Tree - WT
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