You did really well with the hand you were dealt. Tough elements. A strip club is just that, no double meaning available there. I don't think so, anyway...

The setting and characters were handled nicely, but the plot meandered a bit for me.

I had to look up actuary :
a person who compiles and analyses statistics and uses them to calculate insurance risks and premiums.
Apologies if someone's written that in already.

Nice inventive use of his occupation! I'm not sure I understood it but I went with it and it'd be an amusing visual.
Needs just a little bit more punch plot-wise.

Hi, I'm not sure I entirely get the story, do 'dancers' pay to dance? Never been in such an establishment so can't fully comment on this.
The crime element seemed a bit tacked on for me, why would he steal from his own dad? What's the motive for the crime?
It is certainly well written and would probably be better fleshed out and there is a lot to cover in five pages and you managed that but I just don't understand the entire concept.
Well done.

Well, I had to look up what an actuary was. Sean, I love you but geesh. Freakin actuary. LOLOL

I didn't understand the tape measure and why the girls had to hand over so much money to Max. Like one girl had to give 500 on top of the DJ, bartender...  

The twist at the end was abrupt because we never got any clue that Jesse hated his dad. Seemed liked they had a decent relationship.

I was entertained though. The writing itself was very good. Just think the story needed more clarity on motives and explain why the girls had to pay so much to dance.

Best of luck.

Thanks for the reads and reviews.

Somehow, this ended up with the very worst score of all entered scripts, which I find puzzling and very upsetting.  Oh well, what can one do?

Just to clear some things up...

Jessie was indeed an actuary in real life, but his "actuarial" skills in the strip club were a complete scam on both his father and everyone at the strip club.

Did Jessie hate his estranged father?  No, he didn't hate him, but his father completely screwed over his Mom in the divorce, left the family and Jessie, and Jessie decided a little turnabout is fair game.

The theme of money being the root of all evil is apparent in literally every scene here - how some/most didn't see that, I don't understand.  Everyone is scamming everyone, mostly for money, but when money isn't available, they use/accept sex.

Why did the bartender and DJ give money to Jessie?  Again, he scammed them in to believing they needed to pay him off, as they knew Jessie knew about the financial "deals" they had with the girls.

Is any of this realistic? Yes, it actually is.  The girls almost always have to "tip out" the DJ and bartender", although it's not a flat rate as stated here.  They also almost always have to pay a flat rate to the house to dance, and make their money.  Everything here has been taken over the top, as it's just a simple story of greed and abuse.

The twist was mean to be "abrupt" or a surprise, but I was pretty sure most would see it coming a mile away, just based on the title alone.

Best of luck to all and thank you all for those amazing scores of 1, 2, and 3.  Always appreciated.