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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Goonies Never Say Die Moderators: bert
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  Author    Goonies Never Say Die  (currently 7743 views)
Martin
Posted: October 7th, 2005, 9:01am Report to Moderator
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Andy, I absolutely loved this script. I can't believe I took so long to get around to reading it. You have real talent.

I made some notes as I went along

The dialogue between the Fratellis is excellent.

The advert in the paper is a bit of a deus ex machina but it I could suspend my disbelief.

I love the way you reintroduce all the old guys. The cross-cutting is very effective.

You can remove CUT TO and other scene transitions, they clutter up the script.

Page 11. The phone call. Data's dialogue should be (V.O.) not (O.S.)

I'm pretty sure you can remove the 'main titles' and 'end main titles' ' we're 10 minutes into the film when the titles end. Best to let the director decide

The bachelor party is a hilarious. Very funny dialogue, especially Data, Mouth and Chunk.

Minor point: I got berated for using 'ing' words in coverage of one of my scripts. It should be avoided if possible. Examples:

'FOOTSTEPS THUMPING LOUDLY on the stairs.' change to FOOTSTEPS THUMP LOUDLY' '

'Francis looks at him, shaking his head.' change to 'shakes'.

                   CHUNK
                             (laughs)
                        The who?
                             (beat)
                        Fratelli's?
                             (pause)
                        Are you crazy?

You do this a lot, probably too much. It might flow better if you use three full stops (periods) to denote a break in dialogue. On a another note, you emphasize a lot of dialogue in italics. Usually, the way it's written means you don't need it.

I love your short, often single word descriptions between the dialogue e.g. 'Disbelief' and 'Frustration'. You're really economical with your descriptions which is great.

I think this has been said before but it's page 40 before we see these guys taking action. I can see how you've tried to structure your first act with the stripper arriving at the act break but I think the break should be when they actually receive the note. Perhaps trim all but the best dialogue from your bachelor party scene to get things moving along quicker.

I stopped taking notes at this point. The second half of the script just flies by. Your affection for the characters shines through. The dialogue is excellent throughout.

I loved the way you wrapped things up at the end. Tied up the story perfectly. I was a little disappointed that we didn't meet Sloth but what you did at the end with the photograph was a great touch.

It's hard to believe this is your first script. You obviously put a lot of time and effort into writing this. I urge you to write more. You're very, very good at it.

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  January 12th, 2006, 8:33pm
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Andy Petrou
Posted: October 12th, 2005, 12:50pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Martin
I urge you to write more. You're very, very good at it.


Martin, thanks so much for reading this and for your feedback. Was a real surprise to see it had been read again. I think you've made some very valid and interesting points and when I return to the UK, I will go back and tidy up a few things that have been pointed out to me so far.

Thanks again, it means a lot to me, it really does!

Andy xxxx

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Andy Petrou
Posted: January 6th, 2006, 9:36am Report to Moderator
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Some of my friends over at http://www.thegoonies.org advised me that the AMC cinema chain is screening "The Goonies" as it's movie of the month for January 2006.

If anyone wants to watch the promo vid, it can be seen on the link below -

http://live.video.rainbow-medi.....mp;subcategory_id=63

All the other videos I filmed from the "Goonies Never Say Die" 20th anniversary event can be found in this thread here -

http://www.thegoonies.org/BB/viewtopic.php?t=2860

Pretty cool!  

Andy xxx
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Andy Petrou
Posted: January 13th, 2006, 7:36pm Report to Moderator
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Well, you raise an interesting point there!!

The attic scene is really the only part of the movie where this is mentioned. Mikey says that one of the guys must of found their way out of the tunnels and as he trails off on this spiel, the other boys dismiss him and his attempts to lure them on the adventure, as it sounds too far fetched. I've got the Goonies storybook which was written by James Kahn, and don't recall a backstory in there... however, in this day and age, I'm sure someone could easily produce a prequel out of thin air! I've read fanfiction which addresses this story point, but nothing official. I guess Spileberg and Donner skimmed over it so as to not force too much realism on the storyline....  

PS - My http://www.gooniesneversaydie.com website is back online again, woohoo!! Had major server problems, but the link now works. It needs major updating as I stopped in april/may 2004, when my goonies event preparations were underway.... have to go back and update it soon.

Andy xxx
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Andy Petrou
Posted: May 19th, 2006, 6:06am Report to Moderator
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I thought I might post this here, as I know there are Goonies fans on this forum. I've put together a portfolio of rare Goonies pictures, sketches, articles and photos. There are images of cut scenes in there too, which are really cool for those of you who never knew about them!

Here's the direct link to this section of my photo album -

http://www.flickr.com/photos/75403582@N00/sets/72057594137753460/

Hope you like the pics!

Andy xxx
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bert
Posted: May 19th, 2006, 7:12am Report to Moderator
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OMG!!  I checked out your Goonies stuff, Andy -- but then -- well, I found a few more photos that just took my breath away.  Just gorgeous....really.

You should be glad those weren't around while SimplyNoir was being written  


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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Andy Petrou
Posted: May 19th, 2006, 7:18am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from bert
OMG!!  I checked out your Goolies stuff, Andy  


Hahaha. J/K!

Ohhhh.. I know the ones you mean...  

Thank you very much for the compliments, Bert. Now I want to know how SimplyNoir would have turned out instead!!! LOL!!  



Love, A xxx

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Andy Petrou
Posted: November 4th, 2006, 12:53am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from greg
[EDITING MY OLD CRAPPY REVIEW]

Ya know, while reading this I was constantly comparing it to the original, seeing what balances and differences there were.  The beauty of reading something like this is that I already know stuff about the main characters, and The Goonies are your life, so obviously alot of care was put into this unlike the slapdash Jason or Halloween remakes you're seeing all over the place.

The characters had their natural flows and were adapted faithfully.  I think the drunkness and parties and rude e-mails that you included accurately depict the Goonies down the road.  The main story conflict is a simple one, but I felt it went smoothly and included all of the Goonie aspects which made the original film such a hit.  The charm, the personalities, the mysterious treasure, and expecting the unexpected(i.e. Mikey rolling out on his motorcycle or the development of Jake.)  

Two things didn't work for me.  More rude comments!  I've heard you say such filthy things but guys like Mouth and Chunk in here were relatively tame.  Cursing, sure, but sexual jokes or weight jokes or something of that sort.  Plus they're adults!  It's even funnier!  "Hey Mouth, you got dumped!" "Oh yeah? You used to be fat!" haha...I dunno.  I suck right now.

I also would have liked to see something with the contents of the chest.  Maybe add in the identity of the dead dude or a legend of what it is or something, because they discard that stuff and that's the end of it.  

Otherwise this flows very nicely.  Darker than the first, but definitely maintains the charm which made it such a superhit.  You tell an astonishing story, Androulla.  What, with House of Fun and Miss Pearly Mae, you tell very vivid stories with very engaging and amusing characters!  

And of course with lines such as "I mean seriously, what is Gary Coleman doing these days?" you can't go wrong.  Ha!  So, faithfully evolved dialogue, fun story, nicely flows and it's not a sorry ass sequel that looks like it was pasted together in 10 minutes like many sequels these days are.  And you were nervous about posting this?  Come on, Andy!  

A Winner All the Way!


Well, well, well, an updated review!! HAHA!! Thank you so much for re-reading this, Greg, 'tis truly an honour when someone re-reads your work.

Not rude enough, eh? OMG - I thought I was already being risky, 'cos even though they're adults now, I still want a young audience to watch it too... or, maybe that's not possible. I don't know, I don't have kids to say whether this is too raunchy or not...!

The chest wasn't supposed to be the focal point, but I see what you're saying, but I figured the kidnapping demanded more attention!!!!!  

Awe, you've made my night, hee hee. I actually haven't read this for the longest time and perhaps I will before I head back to Oregon next week.

Thanks again

A x
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Mr. Maven
Posted: December 26th, 2006, 12:40pm Report to Moderator
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Okay, I stopped on the third page because I do think I should see the Goonies FIRST, because in your story I don't know if you wrote them as present day thirty-year-olds or new-cast children?
Please get back to me on that and I will hopefully had watched the movie.

Colby


An Inch Short Of Hapiness http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/AnInchShortOfHapiness.pdf

Greatest Day Ever In Production
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Nameless
Posted: December 26th, 2006, 8:37pm Report to Moderator
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Good script Andy; about halfway through.  

As far as the plausibility of the wedding in the paper, you could frame it with a newsworthy achievement, e.g., ' Astoria native, and Inventor Journal's 2006 Man of the Year set to wed.'
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Andy Petrou
Posted: December 27th, 2006, 1:24am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Maven
Okay, I stopped on the third page because I do think I should see the Goonies FIRST, because in your story I don't know if you wrote them as present day thirty-year-olds or new-cast children?
Please get back to me on that and I will hopefully had watched the movie.

Colby


Hey there,

Thanks for bumping this up for me   This script takes place 20 years later. When writing this I forgot to take into account anyone who hadn't seen the original movie, to know that I aged everyone and just assumed everyone knew what the actors looked like today. Sorry about that. Hope that helps and I look forward to hearing your opinion.

(sidenote, if anyone does want to know what the actors look like today, if you have the Goonies on DVD, check out the commentary feature and they are all there with Richard Donner, in full view conversing and catching up over their childhood experiences working together - It's incredible to watch)

To "nameless" - thanks for taking some time to read through this too. If I have time when I go back home (UK) at Easter, I'll re-draft it as I'll have some time to kill whilst looking for work again. Good suggestion and appreciated. Hope you enjoy the rest of it.

Andy xx
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Kevan
Posted: December 27th, 2006, 2:49pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah, you should write another draft on this Andy. Would love to read this myself when you get around to doing this.

Love your new avatar BTW, you look sexy you little minx  


Kev
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