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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Love Bites Moderators: bert
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  Author    Love Bites  (currently 11712 views)
Mr.Ripley
Posted: September 23rd, 2006, 10:16pm Report to Moderator
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hey Higgonaitor, finished with the script as promised. Sorry it took long to read. I enjoyed it very much. It had funny scenes. Some of the dialgoue needs a bit work for certain scenes, but overall it was decent. Getting close to the end, the story was getting funnier. That whole hero and sidekick thing was funny. I enjoyed it.

I was perusing some of the comments after reading and noticed a few that you can fix. For example, the comment concerned with would Constance not know Drake.  I guess you can add a scene implying that Drake changed his name from something previous when he took Constance's wife.  

hope this helps.

Gabriel  
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Higgonaitor
Posted: September 24th, 2006, 6:57pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Gavriel, thanks for the review, very helpful.


Quoted from Mr.Ripley

I was perusing some of the comments after reading and noticed a few that you can fix. For example, the comment concerned with would Constance not know Drake.  I guess you can add a scene implying that Drake changed his name from something previous when he took Constance's wife.  


I actually had a scene like that, but I got rid of it because I thought it was just kind of confusing and uneeded, but now that I have you recommending it, I think I;ll put it back in.

Thanks!

-Tyler


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TAnthony
Posted: September 25th, 2006, 11:48pm Report to Moderator
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Well Higgonaitor that was a great read. It was really funny in a lot of parts and Rick was such a great character. His speeches were pretty fun to read.

SPOILERS--------------------------------------

For such a short script I was thinking this thing would be jam-packed with action, well not necessarily action, but in the beginning it seemed that things were starting off pretty slow. Mina’s little bit was good for a beginning, but things seemed to slow down until Constance was introduced. Try to pick things up and throw some more obstacles in your protagonist’s path.

Constance was the only character that needed a little improvement. All of the others have some stereotype that’s way overblown (which is good, because it makes it funnier) why don’t you give him one?

Dialogue
Your dialogue was great the majority of the time, but sometimes the dialogue passages that ran over 4 or 5 lines got a little old. Try to keep things to a minimum and avoid rambling. I do that too so no biggie really.

Minor Issues
-I don’t know about Lee elbowing Rick right in front of Lucy, because well there right in front of each other. I could see under the table, but they’re out in the open.
-I wasn’t too sure about Rick’s assumption. He automatically assumed that the “freak” could possibly be the kidnapper. Just didn’t seem like a strong connection to me.
-Another no biggie, but parentheticals normally go under the characters name.
-How old’s Chris?
-Nice surprise with Constance being the guy going with Lucy, but try to keep up the suspense, and put more obstacles in Rick’s way of stopping them.
-Why did Drake stop talking like his normal self. He lost his medieval type tone.

Format
-Just as an idea you could use instead of doing Int. –then the rest. You could just do ENTRANCE HALLWAY, then when you want to switch upstairs you can do UPSTAIRS.
-Ext. Not so busy road – Night really isn’t a scene heading, just put down “not so busy” in the description.

Characters
-The way Rick talks is so funny. I know people you have that kind of way when they speak.
-You might want to change Drake’s name, just because. I kind of had a feeling he might be involved, still pretty good reveal.
-Dude. Rick is so funny. I think that’s like the third time I said that, but really he is. When the vampire broke the door down and he said Well I guess he showed me I actually laughed out loud.
-Every one of your characters were solid, all of them so different. My fav character was the Fat C.I.T.

Fun Parts
-That’s a pretty cool situation you put Rick and Garret in. Never thought of that.
-Chillins ha… my mom says that.
-Damn, those were some tight rhymes. lol.
-Awesome scene when the vampires attacked them in the home. So many funny lines.

Great script Higgonaitor really it was a fun read.

Good luck.


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Higgonaitor
Posted: October 3rd, 2006, 12:15am Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the read T.A., it was extremely helpful and most of it was stuff I had not heard before fixing my cript even more before the re-write goes up (which will be soon, btw.)

I also wanted to thank James, so, thanks james, huge help.

Glad you both enjoyed it.

-Tyler


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michel
Posted: October 4th, 2006, 8:19am Report to Moderator
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Tyler, I finally finished it.

It's rather hard to not repeat what everyone said before. The only thing I would repeat is I love your script. Looks like Buffy and Andrews meet the Goonies. Very vivid, bright and brilliant dialogs. You succeeded in avoiding clichés or turned them into original stuff.

*********************SPOILERS**************

IMHO, I'm a litle skeptical about anyone could turn water into holy water. It'd be funnier if they break a church to steal some.

I love the rhyming part in the Perrier.

You could replace the sponge by a kid water gun.

When Jim bites Garrett, it should be a surprise, not an invitation from Garrett to do it.

Well, I can be wrong but it was everything that crosses my mind reading your script.

Hope It'll help.

Michel


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Higgonaitor
Posted: October 4th, 2006, 7:51pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from michel
Tyler, I finally finished it.

It's rather hard to not repeat what everyone said before. The only thing I would repeat is I love your script. Looks like Buffy and Andrews meet the Goonies. Very vivid, bright and brilliant dialogs. You succeeded in avoiding clichés or turned them into original stuff.


Thanks Michel, I'm glad you enjoyed it.


Quoted from michel

IMHO, I'm a litle skeptical about anyone could turn water into holy water. It'd be funnier if they break a church to steal some.

I would have done this, but they have the exact scene in "The Lost Boys" and I wanted o seperate myself from that movie.


Quoted from michel

When Jim bites Garrett, it should be a surprise, not an invitation from Garrett to do it.

Garret is not actually inviting the vampire to bite him, "bite me" is more of a "screw yu" and is not always to be taken so literally.  It is a kind of slang and is used that way in this screenplay, but perhaps it should be more sudden, more surprising, I'll think it over.

Thanks!

-Tyler






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dresseme
Posted: October 30th, 2006, 10:00am Report to Moderator
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Ok, time for my review.  Sorry it's so late, but I had to peruse through your script once again to get a better feeling of what I needed to say.

First off, I'll start by saying I enjoyed the script.  I never laughed out loud, but I knew that a lot of stuff was funny, and would transfer well to a film, making for an enjoyable experience.  The characters were fun and the situations you put them in suited them well.

However, I agree with a lot of what's been said on the board already.
1) Rick's character changes too much from one part of your script to the other. (Timid to extremely slick and confident)

2) Mina's character is too much.  I see what you're going for, but that doesn't necessarily mean it works.

3) The plot has been done before.  That's your biggest problem.  Even though it's a good script, your logline is going to leave people saying (like myself), "This plot, AGAIN!?!"  It's still an enjoyable read, but actually getting someone to read it with that logline will be tough.

Other than that, good job.  No other real complaints.
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Higgonaitor
Posted: October 30th, 2006, 8:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from dresseme
First off, I'll start by saying I enjoyed the script.  I never laughed out loud, but I knew that a lot of stuff was funny, and would transfer well to a film, making for an enjoyable experience.  The characters were fun and the situations you put them in suited them well.


Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.


Quoted from dresseme

1) Rick's character changes too much from one part of your script to the other. (Timid to extremely slick and confident)

...You should have seen him before the re-write.  Practically bi-polar from beginning to end.  I tried making it less of a jump, but its difficult to make Rick slick in the beginning.  Maybe I'll have to make him less slick near the end.  Any thoughts?


Quoted from dresseme
2) Mina's character is too much.  I see what you're going for, but that doesn't necessarily mean it works.

Hmm, phil seemed to think the same, but everyone else seems either to not mind her or be fond of her, so I'm not sure what I'll do with her. I enjoy her.


Quoted from dresseme

3) The plot has been done before.  That's your biggest problem.  Even though it's a good script, your logline is going to leave people saying (like myself), "This plot, AGAIN!?!"  It's still an enjoyable read, but actually getting someone to read it with that logline will be tough.

Huh.  Really?  Like what?  I don't think I've ver seen this plot before, maybe if you look at it really generally as a script about a guy trying to get a girl thats already dating someone.  But if you look at any plot generally, it's been done a million times.  For example, your script: "Based on a True Story" could be reduced to: "Two guys hatch a scheme to get rich and famous" and then it has been done a million times.  It could be done with just about anything.

If you're NOT looking at this plot generally, and DO know of other scripts where a boy likes a girl who likes a boy who boy one thinks is a vampire, than excuse me, you are correct.

Thanks!
-Mike Sheldon
(Higgonaitor)




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dresseme
Posted: October 31st, 2006, 11:45am Report to Moderator
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I agree with you about the plot.  Everything has been done quite a bit before, including my plot (if you reduced it, like you said).  That's generally why I hate the reliance on log lines, because it has the possibility of making a really great script sound bland.

And it's called "Once Bitten".  I know I've seen it done other times, but off the top of my head I can't remember any.  I wasn't trying to be a dick (I did like the script), I was just trying to point out my distaste for loglines, basically.

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
dresseme  -  October 31st, 2006, 12:12pm
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Higgonaitor
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Quoted from dresseme
I agree with you about the plot.  Everything has been done quite a bit before, including my plot (if you reduced it, like you said).  That's generally why I hate the reliance on log lines, because it has the possibility of making a really great script sound bland.

And it's called "Once Bitten".  I know I've seen it done other times, but off the top of my head I can't remember any.  I wasn't trying to be a dick (I did like the script), I was just trying to point out my distaste for loglines, basically.


Yeah, okay cool.  I didn't think you were trying to be a dick anything, I just thought you were wrong, but I guess I didn't really quite get what you were getting at.  Anyway, thanks again.


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bert
Posted: November 18th, 2006, 4:45am Report to Moderator
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OK, Higgs.  Seems like I have been reading a lot of comedies lately.  At least this one had some monsters in it.  Your strength is dialogue.  And your format doesn’t suck anymore.  Good job on both.  And good job on this story, actually.  It is very entertaining, with plenty of good laughs in it.

But this one is not without some comments, and these will contain lots of spoilers:


*  First off, where are the page numbers?  It always bugs me to critique a script without page numbers.
*  I like Mina right away.  Raven is a bit strange, but it’s early, so I’ll buy into that for now.
*  Argh!  Don’t say “about 10 boys”!  You are the writer!  Is it 9 or 10 or 11?  Sorry, but that’s a pet peeve of mine.  Don’t ever use “about” or “seems like” or other vague terms.  You do it again around page 45 with “He seems to morph and fade.”  Well, is he or isn’t he?  Just tell it like it is, man.  And tell us what C.I.T. means while you’re at it.
*  OK, now we are borrowing flour, and I am starting to think that Rick might be a bit too verbose.  I mean, I can tell you are having fun with it, and it’s not that it is bad.  It just might be a bit too much if you don’t spread him out a bit.  Just give him those long patches every now and then, you know?  Not every single time he speaks.  But then, Lee never speaks, so he is kind of talking twice as much for both of them.  Whatever.  I think you know what I am getting at.
*  So we finally get some more vampire on page 30 or so, but who the heck is this Chris guy?  I could care less if he gets bit.  You’ve got more characters.  Why not kill somebody we already know?  I would.
*  Why does everybody start cursing when we reach the mall?  Not that it bothers me, but if you haven’t done it so far, why start now?  It really stands out, and doesn’t seem necessary.  I think watching somebody get pelted with a big thing of garlic powder would look very funny on the screen, and would probably get a good laugh.
*  Around page 70, Rick asks Garret, “What about Steve and that girl he was with?”  Sorry if I missed this, but I don’t remember anything happening.  And in this same conversation, it is serial killer, not cereal killer haha.  Fix that.
*  Your late switcheroo is a good one.  I won’t spoil it here, but I did not see it coming.  And then Steve shows up.  I really must have missed something somewhere, but I simply do not remember Steve after that first scene.  If you DID include a scene where Steve gets attacked, I’m sorry, but I would also point out that it was far from memorable, so you should probably rework that part.  [Note:  OK, going back, I found the van wreck.  See my broad comments for more on this.]
*  During Jane’s big death scene, you call her Jim.  Fix that, too.  And Dad smells vampires haha.  That might be my favorite line.
*  After the climax, there is too much chatter.  No need to rehash the whole story.  Get out faster.

And some broader stuff:

You deliver on the laughs, but I am not getting enough scares for a vampire story, and there is no reason not to have both.  You need to up the tension for this story to work right.  Even though the story is intentionally a bit absurd, you should still be using these vampires for more than just comic relief.

For example, when Rick discovers who Constance really is in the mall -- or thinks he does -- Constance just runs away.  This is a lost opportunity to frame Constance as a formidable villain.  Constance should threaten Rick.  A little more misdirection here.  This should be a menacing scene that leaves Rick afraid, but now he knows that he must rise to the challenge to save his beloved Lucy.  This would make your late switcheroo even more powerful.

And that part where Steve and Jane get it.  Honestly, that segment barely registered with me.  I had to go back and find it.  You should show them in the van getting attacked.  Have your unseen vampire pounding on the roof of the van while they cower inside.  Hell, have your guy rip the roof right off!  But simply cutting away from the wreck is not enough.  Again, give your reader more scares.  More tension.

I would like to see more of Mina, too.  She is my favorite character, but she is gone as soon as she has had a chance to register.  I think this story would benefit from a little more of her.  She could be a wicked presence popping up from time to time, helping to confirm for us that yes, there are nasty vampires among us.  The pet rock is still weird, though.  Whatever.

But your comedy works, Higgs.  A lot of this is really funny, if a bit chatty from time to time.  Work on trimming some of that fat, just keeping the stuff that is really good, using your own judgement there.  My advice, when you find it in you to go back for a rewrite on this, is to up the horror aspects where you can.  Find places where you can insert some good scares.  This could be a very tight script for a teen audience, as I think you’ve got all the right pieces in place.


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Higgonaitor
Posted: November 18th, 2006, 2:21pm Report to Moderator
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Bert, I just sent you a PM saying I hope you enjoy it, but you've already read it, so I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks.


Quoted from bert

*  First off, where are the page numbers?  It always bugs me to critique a script without page numbers.


Huh.  I wonder if theres a way for me to do that without going through and numbering each page by hand, knowing me, if I had to do it that way, I'd end up with about 6 page sevens.


Quoted from bert

*  Argh!  Don’t say “about 10 boys”!  You are the writer!  Is it 9 or 10 or 11?  Sorry, but that’s a pet peeve of mine.  Don’t ever use “about” or “seems like” or other vague terms.  You do it again around page 45 with “He seems to morph and fade.”  Well, is he or isn’t he?  Just tell it like it is, man.  And tell us what C.I.T. means while you’re at it.


..I mean. I would end up with 6 page sevens.  Point recieved.


Quoted from bert

*  OK, now we are borrowing flour, and I am starting to think that Rick might be a bit too verbose.  I mean, I can tell you are having fun with it, and it’s not that it is bad.  It just might be a bit too much if you don’t spread him out a bit.  Just give him those long patches every now and then, you know?  Not every single time he speaks.  But then, Lee never speaks, so he is kind of talking twice as much for both of them.  Whatever.  I think you know what I am getting at.

Yeah, I do need to cut down on Ricks babbling in certain areas.  I dont want him THAT annoying.


Quoted from bert

*  So we finally get some more vampire on page 30 or so, but who the heck is this Chris guy?  I could care less if he gets bit.  You’ve got more characters.  Why not kill somebody we already know?  I would.

That didn't occur to me at all as I was writing it, it seems like something that happens often in horror movies, the random guy that dies to advance the horror, but when I had some of my freinds read it that was their main problem with the whole thing "Who the hell is chris?".  So I think that rather than killing off Garret or lee or the Fat C.I.T., I'm just going to have to introduce Chris before he dies, not sure how though.  Maybe at the camp.


Quoted from bert
And Dad smells vampires haha.  That might be my favorite line.
*  After the climax, there is too much chatter.  No need to rehash the whole story.  Get out faster.

That was one of my favorite lines too! That and the asian nut line for some reason. As for ditching the rehash, that sounds good.


Quoted from bert

You deliver on the laughs, but I am not getting enough scares for a vampire story, and there is no reason not to have both.  You need to up the tension for this story to work right.  . . .  Again, give your reader more scares.  More tension.

Yeah, I realloy did want this to have a horror component to it.  Horror, unfortunately, has never been my strongest suit.  Ishould be able to beef up the horror in the scenes you mentioned though, but horror is definetely something I need to work on.


Quoted from bert

I would like to see more of Mina, too.  She is my favorite character, but she is gone as soon as she has had a chance to register.  I think this story would benefit from a little more of her.  She could be a wicked presence popping up from time to time, helping to confirm for us that yes, there are nasty vampires among us.  The pet rock is still weird, though.  Whatever.

Another pro Mina vote then.  I don't know if I can really expand her part, some people just can't stand her at all, but it looks like she's gonna stay in, which isd good because I also really enjoyed her.  Raven, however, is still on thin ice it appears.

Thanks for the rewad Bert.  Extremely helpful.

-Tyler








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Kevan
Posted: November 21st, 2006, 12:34am Report to Moderator
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Tyler

Okay I read your screenplay and for the most past I enjoyed it. I read it in two sittings, noted what page number where I left off at and when I returned I didn't have a problem re-finding my way through the story or characters (always a good sign).

This isn't that bad of a story, you have fleshed out a decent group of characters; you clearly show who the protagonist is and the supposed antagonist. You know what a 3 act structure is, you clearly have plot points throughout, you have a set-up, a mid point and a clever reversal (revealing who the real antagonist is) and an ending. Which all goes to show you understand what a ?screenplay? is. You also have a talent for humor and this is reflected in your quick-fire dialogue. You also provide through lines in your dialogue but these do tend to be related to character conflict more than plot or story but some on these through lines do reflect the story conflict occasionally so you are not that far off in places.

What let you down is you write too much dialogue as if you rely on this to tell your story through the dialogue for you. I'd like to see you cut your dialogue down by 50 per cent. You'll still be able to retain the heart of what your characters want to say and not lose anything. When I say this I mean you write a lot of lines that exceed 5 lines so the effect you get is these characters seem to give speeches. Like I said, you can achieve the same effects but by reducing the lines down 50 per cent in my opinion. In some cases more. Dialogue in movies is not talk in real life but is condensed. The idea is to make it as tight as possible with as few words as possible but still capture the essence of what you want your characters to say. Hey, this stuff ain't easy but as a discipline, if you work at this it'll make you a better screenwriter.

Moreover, I feel a lot of dialogue, on occasions is throw-away and not directly linked to the overall story or plot. I should re-evaluate what you've written from dialogue and say to yourself, is what I have written related to the plot and story in anyway. If not, throw it away or re-write dialogue for your characters which is directly linked with through lines so the plot and story in some way which enables us as readers to locate a path as we trundle through your story narrative.

I would also like to see you practice writing the spoken word with single inverted commas so your dialogue springs off the page when your characters speak to us. At the moment a lot of your dialogue is written as the written word and feels a little stiff and lifeless. This doesn't mean to say what your characters said in this screenplay didn't speak to me because they did, but I was forced to work hard to imagine what they said was spoken. In actual fact their dialogue was written and read that way. You can only learn this stuff by reading more novels and screenplays. See how an author or screenwriter actually writes dialogue, where he or she places single inverted commas. Exclamation marks.  Where the dialogue tails off or is interrupted. As a writer you can capture the essence of what a character says with a little attention to these details and me thinks you could work on this element of your writing a bit more.

I also consider you could spend a little more thought on your scene descriptions or action to describe stuff and events more so we the reader know what you mean. This could also be said for a decent biography or description of your characters. Have fun with this stuff, it's like painting with different brushes and colors and can be real fun when you get into the swing of it. A lot of comments have been made about putting too much in a screenplay but me thinks a little goes a long way. You can describe characters as continually fiddling with their spectacles or hair, scratching their butt, picking their nose; be a hard ass or a lamer who has a limp. It doesn't really matter but if you send some time setting up these wonderful characters you have in your head so they breathe and come alive off the page then we as readers can see them too. It's like you know these characters are there, so does the reader but you have to go to great lengths to describe them, and this is what writing is all about. Be as accurate as possible so you leave no room for doubt in what you are describing.

The same can be said of times of day, clothes characters wear, behavior, action and reaction by characters, the more in detail you can describe in the least words possible then you will have screenwriting down to a craft. A lot of this stuff comes from re-writes anyway so its something you have to chisel away at to refine and make as perfect as you can. Every word, every sentence and every paragraph is so important in a screenplay that it has to have meaning and be related some way to the plot and story so your characters are locked into these phenomena.

If you can acquire a formatting screenplay package I think it would be good for you when you re-write this script to see how your text will format on the page correctly. A lot of your action descriptions and dialogue is okay where it is placed on the page but your slug lines need correcting. It's no biggy but something you could work on. I would describe a person's house (in your script's case) as the house of a person so if we as the reader are then presented at a house I would ay something like:

EXT. SMITH'S HOUSE - TONY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

You do have this in some places but laps on other occasions in the script.

These are minor problems and can be fixed but I would like to see what you could do with industry quality script formatting software such as Final Draft or Movie Magic Screenwriter or something similar. I'd like to see this presented in a formatted PDF document, I'm sure it would look a lot better..

Ultimately, like I've already mentioned, you can only learn this stuff if you read more. Screenwriting books, other screenplays and novels. The craft of writing stems from reading, the two go hand in hand..

You have a good little screenplay here, you've established the foundations for a good story which is well plotted and you also display a good understanding of the 3 act structure and other elements which go to make up a screenplay so well done there. I can tell that you've worked hard on this and you should be commended, it is very good but I think it could be a lot better if you concentrate on a little more character development, better scene descriptions, using more active verbs, write in the present tense and try and reduce the amount of lines you write for each character. You can find alternative solutions to break up more than 5 lines of dialogue by other characters interrupting, breaking dialogue with some action or cross cutting to a different scene which are cool devices to play around with, they keep the interest up, they introduce new conflict and keep the conflict rising to newer peaks. It also propells the story forward quicker.

Overall, you have quiet an achievement here, a completed feature screenplay and that is something to be very proud of. Keep, working on this, make your writing more descriptive, more tighter, reduce the amount of dialogue your characters speak and I think you'll do exceptionally well with this.

Its' not about how many features you can write but how you re-write what you've already got to make it read like this screenplays is one of the best there is. Attention to detail is the key here. You'll only improve a thing if you work on the re-writing..

Climb back in there and do another re-write and let yourself go.. Go for it..

Well done by the way, you've done good...

Let me know when you've performed another re-write and I'll give it another read for you.


Kevan

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Kevan  -  November 21st, 2006, 12:44am
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Posted: November 22nd, 2006, 12:43pm Report to Moderator
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Thank you very much for the read and review Kevan.  My main question is what you mean by "through lines", I have never heard that term before, which probably means I need to work on it.

I have been told very often that my dialogue is much to long, as if my characters were giving speeches, so I definetely in the next revision have to cut down the dialogue quite a bit, as you suggested.  

My vagueness in the description should also be worked on, as you mentioned, and more details will be put forward.

Once again, thank you very much.

-Tyler


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Tyler

Through-lines are the different view points of how a story is told. In a screenplay, it is how you the writer chooses dialogue which relates to the story and leads to other characters what they have seen, witnessed, heard, read etc. You can be creative using through-lines and choose to let your characters reveal plot points or talk about them after they have been revealed visually or you can do both. You can have your characters agree and or disagree about what happens in your screenplays and these are through-lines.

Think of your story where your main hero character tells the girl she is being stalked by a vampire and she laughs and tells him he his stupid, he is just jealous. This is a through-line. You are also revealing elements of plot too here so there is a fine balance between what to show and what to tell.. In this case, your girl character needed to be informed that the hero characters thinks the stalker is a vampire because this is also rooted in the set-up and the reversal and so is directly related to the plot. So in this instance, it is a good through-line.

Other through-lines can be a lot smaller and can be a joke, As in the store when buying garlic when one buys Garlic Salt which has a payoff later on. This is also a through-line because it not only relays information visually, both in the store and later when thrown on the supposed antagonist but is spoken about by your characters on more than one occasion. Therefore, the first time garlic salt is spoken about leads to a second time it is mentioned and then a third. This is three through-lines which link the scenes together or bridge them.

Through-lines - very useful little things.. Can also be used doubly as subtexts, can be evident in the hero character's flaw, mirrored between two or more characters, a whole host of uses in a screenplay.. Color is another use for a through-line.. The color red signifies something, but the continual representation of the color red in a screenplay can act as a through-line to signify something about character, plot and many other things.. Think of them as layers which interconnect but which move the story and plot forward. It produces a kind of a deeper meaning to the work..

The idea is to make a complete screenplay possess through-lines from scene to scene, between character and character, with visuals and dialogue, color, light and anything else you care to mention. In other words, a great screenplay has so many interconnecting through-lines that the work is elevated to a masterpiece. Alan Ball’s American Beauty is considered a screenplay which contains many through-lines which are interconnected and woven so beautifully in the script that once read you'll never forget them. Matchstick Men has a decent amount of through-lines too, and a very good screenplay to read too..

Kevan

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