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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  For Rosie Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: January 19th, 2019, 1:58pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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For Rosie by Max Ruddock - Drama - An alcoholic bareknuckle fighter makes one last desperate attempt to make up with his estranged daughter before it's too late. 91 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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LC
Posted: January 19th, 2019, 6:11pm Report to Moderator
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Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

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Error 404 not found on this one, Don.


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HyperMatt
Posted: January 19th, 2019, 6:17pm Report to Moderator
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All the scripts loaded today seem to be.


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LC
Posted: January 19th, 2019, 6:20pm Report to Moderator
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Life Begins and Diamond downloaded fine for me. Anyone else?


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henb
Posted: January 19th, 2019, 7:03pm Report to Moderator
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All of the recently uploaded scripts are visible for me except for 'M.A.S.K.' and 'For Rosie'.


our scripts hosted by simplyscripts:
Space Fish
The Homeless Crusaders      
Uncomfortable Creatures
Psychosystem
Must Escape from the Slaughtercity


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eldave1
Posted: January 19th, 2019, 7:33pm Report to Moderator
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My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Don
Posted: January 19th, 2019, 7:46pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Fixed.

Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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EC
Posted: February 2nd, 2019, 8:23pm Report to Moderator
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I suspect that you're a real screenwriter masquerading as an amateur. To what end, who knows.  Three things to consider here.  One, change the title.   Two, favor an older Claire to serve as a contrast to Tanya.  Attractive single mother, wary of losers but open to transactional sex as a prescription to failed relationships (in other words, Tanya's future if she continues with Meph).  Three, include intimate sex scene between Meph and Tanya just before she learns that he has resumed fighting; her disappointment here would have been more dramatic.   When I read the piece, I had envisioned Caleb Landry Jones in the role of Meph, would be interesting to hear your thoughts.  All the same -- great read and definitely GreenLight material!
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Max Ruddock
Posted: February 3rd, 2019, 10:43am Report to Moderator
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Hi Leslie,

Haha I wish I was a real screenwriter masquerading as an amateur, that would be great!

Thanks for taking the time to read it and give me feedback. Massively appreciate it! Do you have anything up on here? I'd like to return the favour.

Interesting feedback too. Funny you mentioned the name. I've struggled with it (and the log-line too) from the very first draft. It actually used to be a bit longer but sounded way too pretentious. Not to say this name isn't pretentious, but it's only half as pretentious as before haha... What I'd like is something that encapsulates its main element, but without sounding too on the nose.

Interesting take on Clair/Tanya too. Hadn't thought about it like that at all but I will now when it comes to the next draft. I've had quite a bit of feedback on this so far from writer friends and from the BBC Writer's Room and that wasn't something that had been mentioned.

I had no idea who that Caleb guy was so I googled him. Not sure what his acting style is like but looks-wise he is spot on! When I was working on it I had an image of young(ish) Toby Kebble as my desktop wallpaper, but that Caleb guy is even better.

Thanks again Leslie, you made my day!

Max
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