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Genre: Comedy Logline: In a burst of progressive activism a zany California town replaces its police department with social workers and turns over City Hall to goofy professors from the local college, but after a Mexican drug gang takes over the town the elites turn to a tough New York Black Power group to restore order.
Not a bad start right there but could be shortened with some pruning...
A progressive California town replaces its police department with social workers and hands City Hall to Professors from the local college. But, after a Mexican drug cartel takes over the town, a tough Black Power gang are enlisted to restore order.
I'm guessing you used words like zany and goofy to imply it's a comedy? If so you could add these or similar back in. Also, not sure how much the bit about Professors adds to the logline itself... you could further shorten to.
A progressive California town replaces its entire police department with well meaning social workers, but, after a Mexican drug cartel takes over the town, a tough Black Power gang are enlisted to restore order.
It has all the necessary ingredients for a good log line, but as Anthony pointed out, it needs some whittling. Aim to keep it between 25-30 words (though 35 isn't out of the question).
When a Mexican gang overruns a quirky town that has replaced its police with social workers and its City Hall with college professors, the town must turn to a tough Black Power group to help restore order.
Eh, 37 words. Close enough.
Anyway. You've got the meat, you just need to trim the fat. My two cents.
Excellent suggestions, all. Yes, definitely a comedy, with a young couple - the love interest - trying to navigate neighborhood, school, and town institutions.
It has all the necessary ingredients for a good log line, but as Anthony pointed out, it needs some whittling. Aim to keep it between 25-30 words (though 35 isn't out of the question).
When a Mexican gang overruns a quirky town that has replaced its police with social workers and its City Hall with college professors, the town must turn to a tough Black Power group to help restore order.
Eh, 37 words. Close enough.
Anyway. You've got the meat, you just need to trim the fat. My two cents.
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Our Perfect Town - Logline Review Request
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